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Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Imported, Dec 5, 2004.
You've inadvertently answered your own question:
What I'm hearing here is that if you found a guy with a dazzling smile, a rapier wit, a killer body, a curious intellect, who was honest, caring, fantastic in the sack, secure, and drop-dead gorgeous, but who had only an average size cock, you wouldn't "find anything attractive whatsoever about" him?
No, that doesn't make you a "horrible" person, but it does mean that you've set yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness. You should seek professional counseling -- and I say this not in a judgemental "you're sick" kind of way, but in a "you're still young enough to change" kind of way.
In the long run, you'll be much happier if you can overcome whatever baggage you've got about this fixation.
Separately I'll reply to this:
As a plain-looking guy who's been in successful relationships, I utterly disagree with statements like this. One-night stands, maybe (although even then, I don't think the percentage is as high as 99.999%); but relationships often begin for reasons other than just looks. Too bad you're too fixated to appreciate that.
Been there... ages 17-19. Total waste of time/money.
Sure, that makes sense...
...whens the last time you heard a 1night-stander say "wow, look at the morals on that guy"?
but relationships often begin [/quote]
Notice I said "begin", not "last upon"... big difference
Too bad you're too fixated to appreciate that. [/quote]
An anecdotal conclusion at best... looks mean practically nothing to me, my statement was but an observation
(PS, if I come across as confrontational/bitching in this response... that was not my intent in the least. I really do appreciate your assessment, and invite others to contribute theirs as strongly as you did)
I suggest you make an application to be filled out by any potentual suitors. Before you commit to any dates their application must be filled out completely in doubbles (one copy for you and one copy for friends to look over and offer feedback) You may then assess the individual by whatever requirements you see necessary. You can also assess reading and writing comprehension, which is often lacking.
No, i'm not joking, yes i've actually done this when confronted with several suitors at once, though it was more of a joke than anything, the results were amusing.
Your only as horrible as you feel. As for my opinion, not that it matters much, you are simply you. Nothing more nothing less. Every part of who you are is a vital and important factor of being an individual and deservs just as much respect as the rest of you. Though this particular preference does present problems, you will do what every species must do .. you will either find exactly what you want, deal with being without, or you will adapt.
A reputation is never completely bad, or good, all things are for the individual observer to decide based upon his or her own free will and personal experiences.
You may have some issues, or not. Eventually and ultimately that for you to decide and work out.
Theres a possible psycho-developmental there, but again ... ultimately thats something for you to decide and deal with in whatever way you desire.
I see your point and am inclined to agree. The truth is that there is beauty in everything and each individual. Each person has a right to find beauty in whatever/where ever they wish. If you find it to be infuriating, you have the right not to associate with them.
<!--QuoteBegin-Seeking_SuperHung@Dec 5 2004, 01:54 PM
So, in summary, after a few disasterous attempts to counteract my natural inclination.... I've come to accept the fact that 1) I'll most likely spend the better part of my life alone and 2) any guy I'm ever going to have any chance at a lasting relationship with must (along with Health & Respect for both himself and I, that's all I'm asking) be packing 9inches or more.[/quote]
As I've said, that is your choice and you've every right to it. I wish you luck.
I don't think it makes you a bad person, but it does make you shallow. It would be completely understandable -- and appropriate -- if that 10-inch wonder you finally find is so disgusted by your view on the subject that he rejects you. As others have already said, for mere aesthetic reasons, you've drastically limited your chances of finding a happy relationship. I'm going to go way out on a limb here and suggest that it would be easier to get over your biases than to find someone who fulfills them.
Goon: It's really funny how we change as time goes by. When I was young and single and living in LA, I wanted to date the "total package" meaning looks, brains, personality and a big cock. I did meet my dream man is one of the sexiest guys to ever walk the earth. he was average downstairs. His dick was also beautiful. He was one of the best I've ever had in the bedroom. Whew. I'm now going on 36 and I've dated guys with big dicks, little dicks and everything in between. My current beau is hung. He also has a killer smile and a heart of gold which I find much more important. My last relationship was with a sensational looking guy with a killer bod and a big dick but he was a sex addict who cheated on me, lied compulsively, gambled away my hard earned money and beat the living shit out of me (he was a brown belt, I'm not). He also stalked me after I left (and believe me I left). I'm lucky I didn't catch anything from him. I now think of him and want to vomit. But shall I digress...
You're not horrible. You're a lot more honest than many are willing to be. Be prepared for a rebuf if your dream man finds out his cock is one of your requirements. I've been in this situation and I've also had people date me for my money. It feels the same either way. Shallow. Funny thing about size queens, you get the feeling they'll jump the second they find a bigger one, and there's always a bigger one. I think you'll grow up a lot. Most men do after 30. I've learned one thing though: love comes in many wrappers and when you least expect it.
Did you ever consider that this exclusive criterion might be the turnoff for the guy? Many/most of us want to be desired for other qualities and attributes. When I have been approached by a chick looking for a big dick, I know that it is time to smile and say, "Later...and Good luck."
Thanatos: The problem here is that you find out about the dick size later. The turn off is mostly sexual, and that's where you need to get the focus off. I know I'm like that. Like my sigs says, I've yet to see someone bigger than me in person, and it did affect my sex life at first. Then, I took the habit of knowing the personality of the person a lot more before starting to have sex with them. Yes, I start out by seeing a good looking person. Then, I get to KNOW the person.
After a while, having been able to resist the urge to satisify my curiosity about his dick, I get to see if HE likes me back. If he does, than he will understand your problem when you tell him, and he will help you overcome it. If not, find someone else.
To the question if it makes you a bad person? Maybe, since you must then leave the person once you find out about their dick, and that means that you got trough the person personnality, but the appearance wins over all.
What have I been saying all along?
And again, I disagree. My relationships had to begin before they could last.
If you're going to solicit advice and then dismiss it for not being the advice you wanted, well no wonder you were an unsuitable candidate for therapy. Make the effort to outgrow this, or when you're 30, all your friends will be happier than you are.
Did you ever consider that this exclusive criterion might be the turnoff for the guy? [/quote]
...I know this is gonna sound horrible guys, but to be perfectly honest: it's been my experience (i.e., with this and related-such issues) the the primary ones to be offended by such preferences are the ones who could never fulfill them.
Of course I'm aware exceptions abound, but still, you get what I'm saying.
Interesting that you'd say that after getting the responses you got from a group of big dicked men. I read this thread and thank my lucky stars I already found a wonderful man.
Well, keep this in mind: poetic justice has a way of rearing its ugly head when you least expect it. Suppose you do meet someone as shallow as you. He's swinging that eleven-incher that makes your mouth water and you have set your sights on him/it as your next target. Then comes the moment of truth when he turns to you and says, "No way, dude. I only do guys who are bigger than me ... and that's not you!" And what can you say? Nothing, really; how can you blame him for having the same creepy criteria that you harbour yourself? If a big cock is what you care about, there is an easy solution to your dilemma: dildoes are available in all sizes. And they come without all that excess baggage that you find so unnecessary, e. g. a personality and a brain.
I was trying to think of the right word when reading this post. Other members hit the nail on the head when they said "shallow". I like to think I'm a pretty interesting guy apart from my dick size. If a chick tries to hook up with me just because I'm packing I figure she ain't really worth my time. I enjoy visual impact as much as anyone else, but there's got to be something backing it up. If we don't have nothing more in common than I have a big dick and she wants a big dick, there's not much there.
BigDean: Kid you amuse me. Your "I've got 8.5in. Nothing spectacular" statement in itself would be laughable to the normal among us if it weren't for the obvious sincerity that you attach to it. I am 50 y/o, have a very satisfying 23 yr relationship that I couldn't have even imagined when I was your age, with your attitude towards sexual attractiveness. Right now you are the man of the hour so to speak, can have anyone you want, has minimum standards to be met and your whole life in front of you available for the search. At my age you'll be the guy standing alone at the end of the bar at closing time wondering where all the hot guys went, and going home alone. If that is what you are after, by all means, rock on. If not, then perhaps you should reconsider how shallow your quest is now before you end up a wasted life in search of what will most likely prove to be unfulfilling at best. A big dick goes soft sometime, A loving smile, intelligent conversation, a warm ass to snuggle up against on a cold night, these are forever.
Maybe they don't want to "fulfill" your expectations?
At some point, regardless of the measurements of either of you, a conversation needs to or might accidentally take place. You can't live your whole life with your mouth/ass full.
If you just want to slut around, and at your age it is expected and understandable, just admit it. But your requirements for a partner are indeed, shallow.
I think you are being honest about a fetish,
but there are fetishes that limit your chances of
and this is one.
Likewise, for the incredible amount of blatant assumption demonstrated by both yourself and particularly "DoubleMeatWhopper"
(Ps., can we at least keep it civil... I appreciate anyone's insight, but ya don't have to be an ass about it dude, really).
<!--QuoteBegin-BigDean@Dec 7 2004, 01:12 AM
At my age you'll be the guy standing alone at the end of the bar at closing time wondering where all the hot guys went, and going home alone. [/quote]
You're correct, though unfortunately I dont have to wait anywhere near that long; that situation already presents itself...
not, then perhaps you should reconsider how shallow your quest is now before you end up a wasted life[/quote]
...did I not address that issue in the closing of this thread's first post? -_-
I think it is good that you can be honest with yourself about what your fetish is.
There are many people with similar fetishes
who dont own up to them.
But I guess the concern from the other posters is that such a need sounds obsessive...
To give a goofy example, it
sounds like somebody saying that they
have to drink a Coke with every meal...
and without that Coke, they won't eat...
And I'm thinking....what about some juice?
Coffee? Or just plain water?
Come to think of it...I actually know someone who
drinks only Coke...
At least your fetish won't wreck your stomach
Fetishes are good for some things, bad for others.