Haha. Ok, no. I went to school in Europe (Glasgow, Barcelona and Cambridge).
A Bachelors takes between three and four years
A Masters takes usually one year but some courses are two
A PhD in the UK takes three years, maximum of four but your funding runs out after three years.
In some countries, particularly Scandanavian ones, people tend to jump around from course to course. In Sweden the Govt gives you 'pocket money' no matter how long you are at university for, so they tend to drag it out. Whereas in other countries like the UK, you get no Govt support and degrees are very rigid so that you can't spread a degree out longer then 3/4 years even if you wanted to.