Telling a girl you're Bi

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by rocketred, Dec 1, 2009.

  1. rocketred

    rocketred New Member

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    How do you do it...?

    I've only ever had 2 girls be cool with it... And it also ultimately ended both relationships.

    I have a girl I'm close to but I don't want to be monogamous but do want to commit... Kinda... And maybe do some group/couples stuff.

    Any advice?
     
  2. Brensta

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    Its the kind of thing you need to be open with very early. Plus, its probably the fact you dont want to be monogamous, rather than your sexuality which will be confronting to her.
     
  3. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I go to colege in Los Angeles and a lot of girls identify as bi. It's not as common with guys but the girls don't seem to have any trouble with it. Maybe it's just a college thing though.
     
  4. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Here's my two cents: if my man told me that he likes blondes and brunettes and he can't give up either, then I'd tell him it's not going to work between us. Why? Because when you commit you stay with one person. If you want to play the field then you need to find someone who's good with it.

    You're not just telling her your bi, you're telling her that you can't make up your mind, and that you need to play the field.

    I'd like to have the big house on the corner, but I live in this one. I can't have both and that's that.

    Maybe there are some women who can maintain a relationship with someone who wants to play the field. Not me.
     
  5. Ganieda

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    I agree with this and you must tell the other person at the beginning of the relationship.
     
  6. B_willy5904

    B_willy5904 New Member

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    You need to be open up front about your lifestyle / preferences / desires. My wife found out that I was bi on our second date / second time we screwed.

    My roommate came into the room as we were screwing. He stripped down and joined us in bed. We screwed her, separately, and DPed her multiple times. We also sucked each others cock and fucked each other, she participated in all the action. She had heard rumors that I was hung, confirmed the first date, and that we shared our partners. We have been sharing each other with other men and women for the last 27 years.

    It is not for every women as you have found, but there are women who really get into it; I have been fortunate that I had several girl friends that liked group sex. Then I found the love of my life, and she loved swinging.

    You need to include her with this choice. I don't know very many women that would say sure screw me and then go else where to screw him. With my wife and I, and our friends, swinging and having group and bi sex with each other is more about the extremely intimate relationships we have each other. The great sex is just a bonus to these relationships.
     
  7. Gisella

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    Interesting...2 layers question.

    I do not want by choice to have a "true bi" male as a steady partner in exclusive relationship. I am not sharing mine knowingly, agreeingly (lol)..only if its behind my back...

    Voluntary back ground check information:..I do separate my horny desires for males and females apart, not mixing time with both together, no way jose..not even in fantasy situations. I guess if trying to explain better, making sense or not..somehow goes like this: I am my regular female with highly masculine str8 male and "masculine" female with a very feminine female.

    Now.. if I am highly horny charged "in my masculine" pole inside..I have an imaginary penis too...:cool: (opa!)..I maybe fuck a very feminine vibes men.. but I am going to take those as they were male lesbian and my bitches animals of some sorts.
    Now..regarding females I do ignore most as non appetizing, not triggering my sexual desires at all... I am very friendly but picky person in real life about sexual stuff engaging situations.

    Interesting thread as hopefuly I will learn more about many different Bi people around.
     
  8. blkbro510

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    Problem with telling folks you are bi is that they automatically think you are gay which is different from being bi. And the dramatic change from being a potential in of emergency break glass to being one of the girls does not help with the male ego! So be up and willing to explain differences and similarities.


     
  9. BigrThnSom

    BigrThnSom New Member

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    I've only ever told 3 women that I'm bi, and all 3 of them I knew before hand to be bi to. So I suppose they don't really count as it obviously wasn't a big deal to them lol. But I agree with everyone else on this, if you want to play around a bit, it's something that needs to be said early on.
     
  10. xrush_uncut

    xrush_uncut New Member

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    I'm not bi, but being bi doesn't mean you can't be monogamous. It just means that you go both ways. So, when you're in a relationship with a girl, you can be in a long-term relationship with her and be monogamous. When you're in a relationship with a boy, the same thing goes. If you want to fuck around then that means you don't want to commit, and it's the same as a straight person telling a girl that he wants an open relationship. If your girl doesn't go for that, then its over.

    I bet being bi makes it tougher because someone might be more open to an open relationship if you were with another girl, but my guess is to find a girl that doesn't care about that sort of thing - one that doesn't care who you fuck as long as you're there for her too.
     
  11. D_Rod Staffinbone

    D_Rod Staffinbone Account Disabled

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    just tell her.

    it's great to be honest and open. just be aware that SOME straight women can accept that
    they are in a sexual relationship with a bi man as a CONCEPT, but in the end, if they fall for you, they are forever looking over their shoulder paranoid that you will cheat on them by being with a guy, and they don't seem to be as worried that you will cheat on them by being with another woman. just human nature i guess.
     
    #11 D_Rod Staffinbone, Dec 2, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2009
  12. latinluva

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    This statement is just all wrong...I had a GF for three years and she was totally okay with it (never cheated). I didn't wanna play the field, I wanted to be with her and only her. Doesn't matter if your bi, unless it matters to her. If I were completely straight, I could still want another woman if that's the way I was. Would you rather your man cheat witha woman or a man....I would think neither, you don't want them to cheat at all right? You said you like to live in a bigger house....so does this mean you settled on a man that wasn't what you really wanted? I have never been with someone I didn't wanna be with, seems simple. And if your man liked brunettes and blondes, just dye your hair once in a while. Commiting should never involve settling on someone, there is no perfect person, we all have our downfalls. I always said, don't look for what you want ina person, look for what you don't want (drug addict, abusive, boring etc.).
     
  13. latinluva

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    You don't need to tell her right away, just be sure you do it before you kiss her or have sex with her. You'll always have that to fall back on in case she gets mad.
     
  14. therarity84

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    This is a very interesting topic. I'm currently in a situation similar to this. I'm a bi guy (I hate labels...I like to say that I "love freely"...) and I have a very good female friend that I've yet to tell that I'm bi. We've literally been friends our entire lives (our mothers have been best friends since they were 15 yrs old). I guess I've held out on telling her because I truly do cherish our friendship. We've always adored each other and she thinks very highly of me. She's a great girl with a good heart and I really don't want her perception of me to change. Recently she told me that I would be the only guy she'd ever consider marrying should she choose to. Now, on a couple occasions, she's mentioned that I was "different" but that she loved that "difference" in me because it made me who I am. She said that she couldn't quite put her finger on it but that I definitely wasn't like other guys. Yes, we've had sex a few times. Surprisingly, it didn't really change our friendship but it did bring us closer. I really don't know how to approach it....Advice would be very helpful :)
     
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