Telling A Straight Guy Ur Interested In Him

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Relentless Original, May 7, 2008.

  1. D_Relentless Original

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    Some of the threads here about straight /gay/Bi Guys got me to thinking about the straight guy who i used to work with, Chris knew i was gay although it was not common knowledge at the time at work.

    He used to ask the the other staff when i was due in, if i was late, where was i etc, he used to ring me if i was off work to tell me he was missing me we had such a great time, he used to cuddle me and hug me, say nicwe things etc and we just got so close.

    I sent him a valentine card anonymously !!!!!, I Loved Him...........

    Anyway 2 years later i could no longer contain my feelings, i did not want him to touch me, pick me up and hug me no longer, i was getting confused, he was married with four kids, a strong catholic man and i was struggling being with him.

    I told him i was in love with him, my heart was beating fast etc then the quiet period, he looked at me, i expected a thump or whatever, he had tears in his eyes, he hugged me close, kissed me not in a sexual way and told me he was happy i had told him, he asked if i had sent him the valentine card i said yes, he said he had kept it as he thought it was me.

    I left him then, he hugged me again and said to me "if everything was coasha, he would be the happiest man in the world. (still don't understand that comment ).
    He phoned me later to see if i was okay and told me although he was straight and never thought about men, he could not understand why he felt like he did about me.
    Anyway we did not pursue anything, but it was nice to have that understanding of how straight and gay men can have that relationship without sex and hurting anyone else.

    sorry for the long intro, just wondered if any other guys straight or gay have had those feelings and told the other person concened ?.
     
  2. HyperHulk

    HyperHulk New Member

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    By "coasha", he means kosher, which means that everything is ok or fine. I think what he meant is, now that you've gotten that off your chest and see that he's not upset, as long as you guys stay friends, he's happy.

    I've experienced what you've gone through and I think your story is an example of how that sometimes the love we feel for others is not about gay or straight, it's about individuals--the people we connect with. There are many people who fall in love who are outside the boxes we normally occupy. And that's why I think they 100% of anything is useless because there is so much variety to the world and so much potential love that there could be someone that you love who loves you and you would never expect it. I think the guy you liked felt something for you, but his own circumstances and the world he lives in wouldn't allow it to be anything that what it is, a close friendship. If you both were stranded on a desert island, than you both might have a chance together.

    It's great to discover that love and even better to find that love when it can be returned the same way.
     
  3. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    feel the same way about a mate that just got married ... never told him verbally, but it's obvious to everyone we work with, and he's the only fellow I've hugged in years ... pretty sure he knows
     
  4. B_Monster

    B_Monster New Member

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    I would never tell a "truely" straight man im interested in him, I wouldn't insult him.
     
  5. goodwood

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    Well, this has never happened to me so I don't have any stories to relate, but if someone wonderful thought that highly enough of me to trust me and want to be with me, I would be flattered and wouldn't mind. I don't know what I could do about it but if they were cool then all right.
     
  6. marleyisalegend

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    i think very highly of you goodwood *offers a hug*. plus ur dog is awesome (if that is ur dog in ur avatar)
     
  7. B_AZBiGuy

    B_AZBiGuy New Member

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    goodwood -

    you need to avoid dark alleys and corners... because i will be lurking there waiting to molest you. :)
     
  8. marleyisalegend

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    :eek:
     
  9. Principessa

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    Why is that an insult? :confused:
     
  10. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    I don't think most normal people would take that as an insult at all. Maybe they would be a little embarrassed, but I'm sure they would find it more a compliment.
     
  11. Beanie

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    done it once and ruined one of the best friendships i had at the time, never do it again. moral is: dont fall for straight guys!
     
  12. D_Relentless Original

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    Comments like that spoil what relationships people can have, like i said it was not about jumping on someone straight or converting a straight guy etc, it was about a higher level more than that, about trust, being comfortable, a straight guy can have a relationship not always sexual witha gay guy, "breaking barriers" destroying myths etc :confused:
     
  13. D_Relentless Original

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    Thanks Goodwood, you are understanding where i am coming from.
     
  14. B_AZBiGuy

    B_AZBiGuy New Member

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    Tardis -

    I apologize for any offense taken to my remark. I have tossed a few flirty compliments goodwood's way in the past and meant it simply as a joke.

    I really think your situation was very touching and heartfelt and it took great courage from you to share it. Please excuse my bad timing and bad taste for posting that reply. I didn't mean to demean your situation, honestly.
     
  15. Hellboy0

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    I wouldn't think it an insult, Monster. Rather, a compliment. You might be thinking that it would bother the guy and I do understand why you wouldn't tell him for that reason. But liking someone for any reason is not an insult.

    Telling him his dick is way too small for you, on the other hand, is definitely an insult!:tongue:
     
  16. B_Monster

    B_Monster New Member

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    Ill retract the word insult just for you hellboy
     
  17. Hellboy0

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    Thank you, buddy. That was nice. Now come on over here for a big hug and a kiss on all your moist bits!:biggrin1:
     
  18. D_Relentless Original

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    Cheers mate for that, i may be touchy and defensive on this subject, maybe i should'nt have posted, just felt i needed to share with people Straight and gay who have been in similar situations, like i said it was'nt about trying to "convert" or conquer, it was just a understanding of a different type of relationship gays and straights can have together, have been with quite a few women and men in sexual relationships, but this experiance, feeling and understanding was on a different level, it was nice, different and had a different feel emotionally, i hate it when gay guys get tarnished with same brush to convert a straight guy, i hate it when straight guys think because your gay they can't hug you or even go for a pee with you incase you come onto them. This was a understanding a break through, we felt close to each other emotionaly and loving but not in a sexual way it strenghted what we had.

    Sorry AZbiguy, for the length of this it is not aimed at you personaly, but thank you for your consideration, it means a lot.

    Now I just hope this thread disappears , i feel quite embaressed lol :redface:
     
  19. B_Monster

    B_Monster New Member

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    I'll take that and MORE.
     
  20. B_AZBiGuy

    B_AZBiGuy New Member

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    Tardis -

    There is nothing to feel ashamed about... You shared a personal story that is absolutely NOT uncommon for a lot of gay/bi guys.

    I have often felt the way you do about straight guys in my life. For some reason the magnetism is there... and there's nothing that can be done about it. But you still get to enjoy the fact that your friendship has become closer because of the honesty.

    I'm envious of what you did... there are several straight married male friends of mine that I'd like to fully express my feelings to.
     
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