Telling your man that you're pregnant

[Dport]

I just read about a woman who has known she's pregnant for 3 months, but, for whatever reason, can't find the right time to tell her fiance, even tho' it's something they've both wanted and she's sure he'll be happy.

Assuming that she's not subconsciously waiting til abortion is no longer an option.... Is that extreme? Bizarre? Or can other women relate?

As a man I'd be butthurt as fuck that she kept it from me.

I know that it's her body/her rules and that............ How long is too long is my question?

 

[693987]

I.. would think that even taking a pregnancy test in the first place would be something to share with your significant other, much less that solid of a confirmation that you actually are pregnant. I can understand waiting a few months to share with other people, but your partner?

I haven't had many female friends procreate, and with relatives it seems they did seem to wait a few months to tell the family at large, so I can't speak much as to females in my social/familial circles.

 

[Dport]

I had to assume that it was extreme behavior.. But then talked myself into thinking it might be more common than I thought.

If she's not sure how the guy will react, if there's even a hint of fear of his reaction, then I totally understand her hesitation. But that's not how it read.

 

[rtg]

I don't know... maybe she just feels overwhelmed? Doesn't make sense if they both want a baby though. Maybe she's scared of losing it... doesn't want to get his hopes up in case she loses it? But then she'd have to go through that all by herself. I'm as baffled as you are. That's a big secret to keep. She'll start showing soon.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

There's no possible way I'd be able to contain myself. I'd blurt it out to his face the second I had the chance.

Dammit.

 

[EllieP]

Well, I could not hold that in, that's for sure. I remember that I was so damn excited and nervous at the same time. For some reason I just knew he wasn't going to take it well, and he didn't. So that certainly tempered my enthusiasm.

But I knew a woman who did the same thing and waited for a couple of months before telling her husband. Probably because she was 35 and it had been 13 years since her last child. He was more nervous than excited, but eventually he came around.

Then there was a woman I knew in Houston who was married to a psychiatrist. She was excited to welcome her third child. They found out it was a girl. I told him congratulations! He looked at me and said "How'd you like to spend 20 grand on something you already had?"

Boy, talk about instant hate for that guy. Instead of being excited he was completely bummed that he couldn't get a boy. I know I shouldn't have but I told him "maybe you better turn up them Y chromosomes, Bub." We haven't spoken since. I even visited her in the hospital and completely ignored the asshole.

So, yeah, I can see why someone would wait a while before sharing some pretty heavy news. But it's rarely healthy.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

My husband and I went through years of infertility that resulted in infertility treatments. The first time we got pregnant we told everyone. In the early 2nd trimester we lost the baby. I felt embarrassed to be around those same people after the loss. I could tell they felt sorry for me. I didn't want constant reminders that I was no longer pregnant. I just wanted to get back to the infertility treatments and try again. A year later after 9 failed rounds of fertility drugs we became pregnant again. This time we only told our parents. That pregnancy went on to produce my awesome daughter.

I was afraid to tell my husband at first. Not because he would be upset. But because we had been through this before and all of that excitement ended abruptly with our first baby dying. I felt like I would sabotage the pregnancy by celebrating it too early.

I took the pregnancy test and it was positive. I still have that pregnancy test in my drawer almost 17 years later. I went to the store to get 3 more brands of pregnancy tests and waited until all of them showed positive before I told him. But it was in the same day.

I can't comprehend hiding a pregnancy from my man. We are so close. Plus I had severe morning sickness for 7 months so it would have been hard to hide.

 

[DaisyDoesIt]

Well, I could not hold that in, that's for sure. I remember that I was so damn excited and nervous at the same time. For some reason I just knew he wasn't going to take it well, and he didn't. So that certainly tempered my enthusiasm.

But I knew a woman who did the same thing and waited for a couple of months before telling her husband. Probably because she was 35 and it had been 13 years since her last child. He was more nervous than excited, but eventually he came around.

Then there was a woman I knew in Houston who was married to a psychiatrist. She was excited to welcome her third child. They found out it was a girl. I told him congratulations! He looked at me and said "How'd you like to spend 20 grand on something you already had?"

Boy, talk about instant hate for that guy. Instead of being excited he was completely bummed that he couldn't get a boy. I know I shouldn't have but I told him "maybe you better turn up them Y chromosomes, Bub." We haven't spoken since. I even visited her in the hospital and completely ignored the asshole.

So, yeah, I can see why someone would wait a while before sharing some pretty heavy news. But it's rarely healthy.

and yet you resisted kicking him in the nuts~!

 

[693987]

I do have a female friend who she and her husband both thought that she was unable to conceive. When she did, they were both so excited they told evvverybody. She unfortunately had a miscarriage though, and they both pretty much disappeared from every social circle they had, because they didn't want to talk about it, and I can only imagine that their mourning/grief was too private a thing to deal with other people.

 

[EllieP]

My husband and I went through years of infertility that resulted in infertility treatments. The first time we got pregnant we told everyone. In the early 2nd trimester we lost the baby. I felt embarrassed to be around those same people after the loss. I could tell they felt sorry for me. I didn't want constant reminders that I was no longer pregnant. I just wanted to get back to the infertility treatments and try again. A year later after 9 failed rounds of fertility drugs we became pregnant again. This time we only told our parents. That pregnancy went on to produce my awesome daughter.

I was afraid to tell my husband at first. Not because he would be upset. But because we had been through this before and all of that excitement ended abruptly with our first baby dying. I felt like I would sabotage the pregnancy by celebrating it too early.

I took the pregnancy test and it was positive. I still have that pregnancy test in my drawer almost 17 years later. I went to the store to get 3 more brands of pregnancy tests and waited until all of them showed positive before I told him. But it was in the same day.

I can't comprehend hiding a pregnancy from my man. We are so close. Plus I had severe morning sickness for 7 months so it would have been hard to hide.

Hugs, Sweetie. I had an employee that went through that same thing last year. I cried with her. It's still a tender subject.

 

[someperson]

I just read about a woman who has known she's pregnant for 3 months, but, for whatever reason, can't find the right time to tell her fiance, even tho' it's something they've both wanted and she's sure he'll be happy.

Assuming that she's not subconsciously waiting til abortion is no longer an option.... Is that extreme? Bizarre? Or can other women relate?

As a man I'd be butthurt as fuck that she kept it from me.

I know that it's her body/her rules and that............ How long is too long is my question?

she would not even need to tell me I can smell it

 

[AlteredEgo]

Only twice in my life have I had reason to believe I was pregnant. While in general terms I would like to be pregnant, the first time the timing was horrible, and the second time the timing was worse.

That first time, I don't remember what my problem was, but I did not want to carry to term. Had I told my husband at the time, he'd have wanted to keep it, and might not have been able to forgive me for choosing not to. So I was never going to tell him. False alarm, though. I wasn't pregnant. The second time, I had a new boyfriend. I was for sure going to keep it, but I had no way of knowing if I was going to keep him. Turns out, I wasn't keeping him. Good thing I still was not pregnant. I probably would have told him right away. He would have been elated. Actually, I think he might have been trying to impregnate me.

 

[Lee_M]

He may be happy with the pregnancy, but now that its a reality maybe she is having second thoughts about it.

Her body, her rules, but they are a couple and decided to make this baby together, so he should have just as much right to know and decide on its future as well.

Once she knew, and had time to digest the information herself, he should have been told straight away.

 

[185248]

I just read about a woman who has known she's pregnant for 3 months, but, for whatever reason, can't find the right time to tell her fiance, even tho' it's something they've both wanted and she's sure he'll be happy.

Assuming that she's not subconsciously waiting til abortion is no longer an option.... Is that extreme? Bizarre? Or can other women relate?

As a man I'd be butthurt as fuck that she kept it from me.

I know that it's her body/her rules and that............ How long is too long is my question?

Introducing a new life to the world as we know it is full of unknowns. Be informed, over the years of my life, and grown up children I have been through a few "facts of life" things.

You say "you have just read about a woman". In other words, you know nothing, yet ask for an opinion based up on what you have read on a story based upon second hand observation.

Would you like me to have an opinion on your life and your life choices in those same circumstances?

 

[Dport]

Introducing a new life to the world as we know it is full of unknowns. Be informed, over the years of my life, and grown up children I have been through a few "facts of life" things.

You say "you have just read about a woman". In other words, you know nothing, yet ask for an opinion based up on what you have read on a story based upon second hand observation.

Would you like me to have an opinion on your life and your life choices in those same circumstances?

Calm down, killer.

I read something. It made me think. I shared my thoughts on a forum, asked for others thoughts... This happens all the time, welcome to the Internet.

 

[185248]

Sometimes people post answers with the information made available. "Killer"? Well, not quite

My post in answer to the original OP's open question gave you a chance to "share" your thoughts also. Which is what forums are all about. Thoughts, replies, opinions. Which not everyone is going to agree with.

What would be your answer/reply, to the OP's question?

 

[185248]

Well, you are the OP , my bad, so what are your answers going through your mind? You say you would be butt hurt.

Being in the position of being told by my very young daughter at the time she was pregnant, with her boyfriend at the time, now her husband. They at the time decided for abortion. I as her Dad was there to support any decision they made. As I always am. I am a parent, not their conscience or decision maker.

Also, I have been in similar situations myself, with my own life. Ultimately, I realise, peace, moving on, learning, only comes with support, not imposition.

To impose, not understanding creates suspicion, mistrust and division.

I prefer people to be honest with me without fear of repercussion. They have enough to deal with in their mind.

If you say you would be butt hurt, ok. But how would you react? Also, they would not have the need to say anything if they did not wish too. Because they do, they are not looking for guilt, or to be loaded with more of someone else's guilt.

What I always try to do, is place myself in their position. Get's me into trouble lots

 

[Notaes]

I knew my wife was pregnant before she told me! There were so many things that indicated she was pregnant. We were trying so it wasn't an issue! Her pussy was so wonderful I can't describe it. When we fucked it was so good. I could tell her face was puffy. Her pussy was puffy. She craved all this wild stuff. Her hormones were so fucked up. I loved fucking her while she was pregnant. She was so fucking hot!

 

[Dport]

Also, they would not have the need to say anything if they did not wish too.

A woman has the right to take a couple days to wrap her mind around it.. But I think there's an obligation to say something to the man relatively soon, assuming he's in her life and there's no reason to fear his reaction.

Anywho.. I'm done with this thread.

 

[latinabella]

When I got pregnant the last time I send my hubby a pic of a bun in the oven I thought it was a fun way to let him know and so did he luckily