Telling your Wife/Girlfriend you like to look at naked men

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by pablovian, Aug 3, 2009.

  1. pablovian

    pablovian Member

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    I currently have a girlfriend who I think will "be the one". I really like the site of a man's body and even like jacking off to gay porn. Been with a few guys but somehow the experience wasn't all that exciting once the clothes came off; (nervous, whatever, I don't care). The point is, I want to be able to continue viewing male bodies but I want to be able to do it with my girlfriend. Has anyone else told their girlfriend/wife that they like male bodies and she been OK with it or should I just keep my mouth shut?
     
  2. Countryguy63

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    Does she ever mention when someone is good looking? If so, you can agree with her and see if that opens the discussion and get more in detail during it.
    I'm not sure how to open the discussion on your own, bt if she is the one, you definitely want to get that out in the open. No fun her finding out another way

    btw, you may have your stats reversed :wink:
     
  3. Provlear

    Provlear New Member

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    My girlfriend has known I'm bi and that I enjoy gay porn for years. I waited until the 6th month of our relationship to tell her, granted. She's a remarkable girl and is totally fine with it, though I know most girls won't be. I definitely think being honest with her is the best course of action. Just be certain you tell her that it changes nothing about how you feel about her.
     
  4. Symphonic

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    What will telling her do for you?
     
  5. Mastur

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    If she's the one and you don't really like making it with guys, I don't see why she has to know since you won't be doing anything of the sort again, right...? No need to shake her foundations or trust in you over past experiences that bears no relevance to your commitment to her and your relationship/love. Just be 100% sure and honest with yourself in terms of your self-knowledge.

    Regarding being turned on by naked men, so what? It's just another form of mind pornography and is your own private idaho...
     
  6. DiscoBoy

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    It all depends on the strength of your attraction to males. If you are, as I assume based on your percentages, extremely attracted to men then I doubt you can lead a happy, satisfied life ignoring your desires, or at best, satiating those desires but keeping them hidden from your partner. If you plan on maintaining an active interest in the male body, I think it would be best if you informed your partner. Secrets [especially secrets as big as this] are poison to relationships.
     
  7. Gnothiseauton

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    Know thyself... I hate to disagree, but you should be honest with her, and if she can't handle it, then maybe you need to think some. It didn't sound to me like you're saying you need dick on a regular basis, you just want to be able to say "he's hot and what a dick", and have her respond "I agree" versus "what the hell did you just say?"...
     
  8. Principessa

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    While your desire to be honest is commendable, I really don't see a good end to this if you do share this information. :frown1: Seriously, what's the point? Just so you can watch male gay porn together? Not all girls like gay porn and even those that do may not like the idea of their man beating off to it. Can't believe I am saying this but take that secret to your grave.
     
  9. Bottlebrush

    Bottlebrush New Member

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    In my marriage it would be a definite no. My wife become's extremely concerned even when she 'catches' me watching a YouTube instructional video on how to do a deadlift with correct form. Of course it would be great to be open, and I hear of women who are cool with their husband's bisexuality, but I suspect secrecy is the norm. By telling her, you run the genuine risk of her feeling as though she could never trust you, wondering if she's ever enough for you, and forever worrying that you're going to sneak off to satisfy the urges of your 'gay-side'. Why cause her so much anxiety? Why not just secretly watch porn when she's out like every other man on the planet?
     
  10. D_Sandy_Krautch

    D_Sandy_Krautch New Member

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    You know that old saying "honesty is the best policy"? Yeah... In my opinion, the ONLY way you should keep this a secret is if it's something you can (and plan to) live without. If you intend to continue enjoying the male form, better that she find out now than a few years from now when she walks in on you spanking it to the sight of two hot guys pummeling each other on your computer screen. Seriously... why start with lies? That wouldn't be fair to either one of you. If she loves you, she'll be willing to accept ALL of you, and maybe even enjoy it. If she can't deal, you have to wonder if she truly is "the one" or not.
     
  11. pablovian

    pablovian Member

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    Thanks for all the responses. Looks like I have some thinking to do!!!
     
  12. maestro071

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    I agree ....
    No point in telling her. You may watch str8 porn with her instead...
     
  13. closetbi

    closetbi New Member

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    Be honest, I'm sure she won't mind a threesome if you can hook it up with a handsome peer.
     
  14. hung

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    As a sure way of checking out her views on the nude male visit an art gallery or museum that has human figures without clothes, both male and female.

    Watch for her reactions. That can, and should tell you a lot about her attitude/s.

    In the end, you must be honest.

    I wish you well.
     
  15. helgaleena

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    Hung is correct. If she is 'the one' she needs to know the real you going in from the start. Otherwise there will be great misery. My marriage ended as soon as we got to know the real us-- nothing like the us we were fantasizing about in the beginning. And the worst taunt? 'You knew this about me and you married me anyway!'
     
  16. B_stevekorgman

    B_stevekorgman New Member

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    Taking the secret to your grave happens all the time. Some wives/girlfriends never suspect a thing. Why rock the boat. Wait until she goes away on a trip or something; make sure to clear your browser history every time you log off; take some time off to yourself, and take your laptop with you. There are dozens of ways to enjoy both worlds. I should write a book. None of my family/friends would ever guess in a million years the pleasure I've had from "the down-low" side of life.
     
  17. vlls

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    do you really see the relationship working out if she doesnt ever find out about your desires? I couldnt imagine being in a relationship where I cant share that with my gf...
     
  18. fournineteenfiftynine

    fournineteenfiftynine Well-Known Member

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    Yes, you are getting a variety of opinions. Let me add my 2 pennies worth.

    While I think many many men share some sort of attraction to males, it is not really okay in our society to admit to some level of bisexuality as a male. It is far more okay to admit that as a female. I also think women tend to be more territorial about their man and anything (other women or other men) that might threaten that is, well, threatening. Given all that, I would say unless you think she is incredibly open minded - I'd probably keep it to yourself.

    Most likely you will want to go beyond porn to actual physical experience, which again I think is normal, but as long as you are safe I would still come to terms with the fact that we males usually have to keep some of our lives secret.

    At the very least, I would guess that 90% of all married men keep some sexual secrets from their wives - it might be that they fantasize about someone else when making love or that they masturbate to hetero porn on the Internet; but I guarantee you that there are lots of secrets out there...just different flavors. And until we become a more open and less judgmental society it ain't changing much.
     
  19. bigbull29

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    It's a shame that in 2009, the average man can't be honest about his sexuality for fear of the consequences. WHAT A HORRIBLE SHAME!!!!

    Ideally, you should tell her, but in the real world with real consequences, our lovers need not know all of our secrets and fantasies. Some things, buddy, are just better left unsaid (everything you think of during masturbation sessions, whether to porn or not). If you really have no desire to be banging dudes in real life and you are sure of that, I would let it go and say nothing. However, if your attraction to men could lead to actual sex with one, then you need to be upfront with her. Though, I need to add that since you watch a lot of gay porn and could get caught doing so, I may subtly let her know that I am attracted to men, like a lot of men are in fantasy. But if you feel that you could never tell her that without horrible consequences, maybe she's not the right one for you. We just can't hide like that from our lovers.


    I hope I'm not sounding contradictory. Best of luck!:smile:
     
  20. Mastur

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    I Agree with fournineteenfiftynine!
     
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