Telling your wife

[crazenitely]

Hi. I'm 32, married with 2 kids. I want to talk with my wife and tell her that I'm bisexual. I'm not so worried that she is going to leave. I'm worried that she will be less interested in me, although we barely have sex anymore even though I ask for it.

What is the best way for me to share my sexuality with her?

 

[videogig]

Married with two kids here as well. I got forced into telling my wife because I came down with two studs. She had to be tested. Craigslist is a cesspool.

 

[Brian0406]

IN my opinion, it all depends on what you expect to come out of telling her. A stronger relationship? an open one? a divorce?

 

[AlexDB9]

This is a hard one. After I told my ex, she tried to run me over.

 

[crazenitely]

Looks like I better keep this to myself. lol. I actually suspect that she knows. I want to tell her so that she can admit that she's bi as well. haha.

 

[Brian0406]

Looks like I better keep this to myself. lol. I actually suspect that she knows. I want to tell her so that she can admit that she's bi as well. haha.

is she bi? Maybe you should try asking the ladies what they would do if their husband confessed to something like that.. :tongue:

 

[Grower82]

Hi. I'm 32, married with 2 kids. I want to talk with my wife and tell her that I'm bisexual. I'm not so worried that she is going to leave. I'm worried that she will be less interested in me, although we barely have sex anymore even though I ask for it.

What is the best way for me to share my sexuality with her?

I'm sorry about that man Sometimes its not about you.
It can be rough though, I know. If you are committed to each other, your relationship and your family can be healthy in other ways though. And its possible the intimacy side of things can come back with time and patience.

 

[PounceOnit]

I (actually my wife and I) believe in being very honest and work hard to communicate about such things. And sometimes we argue. In the end we are usually glad for the frank discussions.

My advice is to find a good time to discuss with her. Free of distractions, talk about your feelings, why you want to share, how you think it might impact relationship, get her take as well and devise a plan. Know that she may not be receptive and could be faced with bigger issues after sharing. Still, believe in being honest.

Every relationship is different and you know yours better than any of us here; this is just an outsider's advice.

Good luck.

 

[kjguy]

I've decided long ago that I want to be completely open about my being bisexual at the beginning of a relationship. That being said, I can understand your dilemma. I would love for you to be able to tell her and have your relationship grow more due to the shared honesty and trust. However, her reaction may vary depending on the type of person she is. If I were you I would drop subtle clues or ask her hypothetical questions about bisexuality and circumstances and gauge her responses. This will help determine the best way to approach the situation. I do think you must eventually make it known, and have faith that whatever happens, the freedom to be you will prevail!

 

[alex_moore]

I would be careful about how you tell her. It may look like you're admitting it now because you want to start up a relationship with a guy. Especially if your sex life isn't the best right now. If you're dead set on it I would bring up the topic of bisexuality/gay in general, to get a feel for her thoughts on it. If she's positive about it in general you may be able to admit to some earlier "experimenting" with it in a teasing/fun way. As for the best time to bring it up, I suggest after spending an hour eating her pussy out. I find that's when women are most agreeable.

 

[Ajax1]

I got caught. Friend of her bff boyfriend caught me in hotel room. It ws very unclear but gist got thru. Depending on my bad behavior... I got chewed out. Some physical hands on to my face, some abuse & yelling. At end , told me not to embarrass her.

 

[Hoss]

this is why I always make it clear up front at the start that I go both ways.

 

[bud77]

Everybody takes one good secret to the grave
Not worth the implosion to confess urges, imo
Loose lips sink ships. It will spread way past her and ruin more than
you can imagine.
BTW nice blog you got there

 

[DexterMorgan]

Everybody takes one good secret to the grave
Not worth the implosion to confess urges, imo
Loose lips sink ships. It will spread way past her and ruin more than
you can imagine.
BTW nice blog you got there

And I agree with this. Unless your wife knowingly married a bisexual man, she assumes you're 100% straight. The odds are good this will be traumatic for her.....and the odds of this of having a positive outcome are low. Even in this sexually "enlightened" age....

 

[hvdude]

So here's a gay guy's advice FWIW: First of all don't make a huge dramatic deal out of it, that will only make things worse. Bringing up your current sex life (or lack thereof) will only make her feel like it is her fault ("if only I had fucked him more this wouldn't have happened".) Have a casual dinner and tell her you love her and that you want to be honest with her and with yourself, "which is only fair". Talk to her about how you may have felt before you got married regarding women and men, and that recently you have had an increased attraction to men. Then ask her how hearing that makes her feel and respond accordingly. She may or may not be surprised. She may or may not be angry. Reiterate your love for her and that you felt it was fair to be honest.

 

[harrytuttle]

damn...hvdude has it dead on...don't make it sound like its her fault or shes the issue, she isnt, it's all internal to you (not saying you're an issue, its just who you are). If she loves you, she'll understand. If she can't be with you, she'll still understand, its just not her thing.

good luck dude

 

[steel33]

I was able to tell my wife and she took it very well. She needed to digest it and asked questions. I haven't played behind her back,before or after. I think I asked her if she had been with a woman and she asked me the same question about me . It told her what I did and what I know about how it works.
We are dabbling in swinging and sometimes we compare notes like who has sucked a bigger dick, things like that.

 

[Heat]

This is a hard one. After I told my ex, she tried to run me over.

The bluntness of your post made me laugh in surprise/shock. That's really an amazing reaction from someone...dangerously amazing.

 

[Jamesbgck]

And I agree with this. Unless your wife knowingly married a bisexual man, she assumes you're 100% straight. The odds are good this will be traumatic for her.....and the odds of this of having a positive outcome are low. Even in this sexually "enlightened" age....

Add me to the "don't tell" crowd. I know there are some wives who will take this reasonably well, and a handful who are bi themselves and this will be invitation to experiment sexually. But that's not my wife, and at this point, you probably know if it is yours. And if it isn't, my advice is to keep quiet, be careful, be discreet, and take this little secret to your grave.

 

[977581]

I yet have to be in a relationship (I think I stay too well alone), but I guess this is one of the things he or she have to know from the beginning... if he/she reject you for "being something" your relationship is not based on real love. You can't stop being bi... but if you love her and she love you, you must be able to restrain yourself following every man that come under your sight...