"That looks too GAY/str8!" defining str8/gay fashion.

Discussion in 'Underwear, Clothing, and Appearance Issues' started by dongalong, May 11, 2007.

  1. dongalong

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    I take an interest in all things linked to design and fashion and have noticed a few reoccuring generalities in men's fashion.

    Since there is a large gay community in the fashion industry many fashions and trends are created by them and made cool by the gay scene.
    Some gays being, very open minded, seem to force the limits of dress sense to the extreme and achieve a clear "Gay look" whereas most Str8s, not wishing to attract gay men (or because they have no imagination) usually end up wearing boring, dull and classic clothes that are orientation neutral. However countries where being "trendy" is very important (eg. UK, Italy) seem to make these once "gay looks" mainstream.

    I personally want to look cool and trendy but avoid looking gay. I'd prefer to look like a Lady's man to attract ladies, so shopping for clothes can be complicated since I don't want to be too classic either!

    How would you define what looks str8 compared to what looks gay?

    Some more questions:
    If I went to a beach wearing Speedos, would that make people think that I am probably gay?
    Are there any other items of clothing that have meanings linked to sexual orientation?
     
  2. burns1de

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    I tend to let my personality and my actions speak louder than what I'm wearing. The clothes I have don't tend to be trendy, but they can be pretty cool and often esoteric. For exemple, right now, I'm wearing sneakers, 3/4 pants and this shirt. It definitely looks good on me, but it's also certainly not too trendy (and the t-shirt is absolutely not mainstream).

    I think "looking" straight or gay is more in the attitude and personality than what you're actually wearing. I've worn metrosexualish clothes before (previous job, I had to dress 'nice', ugh) but people had no doubt on my sexual preference because of the way I acted. I act and look like a straight guy because, well, I'm a straight guy.
     
  3. Onslow

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    Yes, but straight men also wear these clothes--I mean if queers are designing the clothes then all groups of people wear them so how do you tell them apart?
    Nice going, insulting all those heterosexual me by saying they're dull and boring. It may interest you to know that some people find construction worker outfits, police uniforms and even business suits quite sexy.
    Try the donation bin at the local parking lot--I've acquired several nice shirts from there.
    The person in the clothes and how they behave. If a man is prancing about and saying 'oh girlfriend' to another male, odds are he's a queer, even if he is wearing a navy blue suit with a white shirt and red and gray striped tie. Similarly, a man who has a young beautiful girl on his arm but is wearing a brightly colored shirt, will appear relatively hetero.
    I;ve seen middle aged and older flabby gutted men who are married with several children wearing speedos and they are anything but queer.
    The only clothing item I ever immediately associated with himosexuality is a pair of leather shorts with the crotch done in a revealing fishnet. Saw this in 1990) Maybe it's not queer, but it sure sticks in my brain that way.


    Stop giving your clothing so much power. Clothes are what they are, wear what you are comfortable in and be true to your sexuality and leave it at that. If you go out the door nervous about your clothes sending a wrong message on your sexual desires, you'll seem queerer than a cocksucking male whore in a gay bathhouse.
     
  4. burns1de

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    Yeah, I have to agree with Onslow here, that's really not cool. It's like me saying that gays are uniquely concerned with their appearance and are, therefore, selfish and narcissistic assholes. I know some are, of course, but unfair generalizations are exactly that - unfair.

    I may wear 'boring' clothes, but anyone that has gotten to know me will tell you that I am anything but boring, so there.
     
  5. DC_DEEP

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    Ah, sorry, dongalong, this gay man can't help you.

    I actually go out of my way to AVOID being "trendy" or "fashionable." Under no circumstances will I ever wear a baseball cap backward, capri pants, 3/4 shorts, roof-top hairstyle, anything Old Navy, or anything with a designer label prominently displayed.

    If I see photos of guys in our local "gay newspaper" wearing something, I'll be sure to avoid wearing anything similar.

    My philosophy is "fashion is what you purchase, style is how you wear it." I try to have style without being fashionable.
     
  6. Principessa

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    How would you define what looks str8 compared to what looks gay?
    Since the whole metro-sexual thing became popular a few years back I have no way to tell.
    Some more questions:
    If I went to a beach wearing Speedos, would that make people think that I am probably gay? You live in Paris, France I thought all European men wore Speedo's :confused: Are there any other items of clothing that have meanings linked to sexual orientation? Not to my knowledge but I am kind of out of the loop on men's fashion since I stopped working in retail.

    Usually what sets off my gaydar are the quality of the accessories. Many men wear a suit and tie to work everyday. But gay men often pay more attention to their ties, cufflinks, shoes and socks. That said I know straight men who look like they stepped out of GQ everyday and they do not "look gay."

    ADVICE: You need to wear your clothes. Don't let your clothes wear you.
     
  7. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    I wear what the fuck I want. Can't tell my orientation by my wardrobe either, I hope.
     
  8. earllogjam

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    Honey you can't look cool and trendy without looking gay. We have the corner on the market. If you want to look straight shop at LL Bean or Sears or wear last year's gay fashions. For your information trendy gay men no longer wear Speedos. They have been out for a long time. Haven't you seen the latest International Male catalog? :)
     
  9. Principessa

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    What is this nonsense with straight men wearing earrings in both ears? I cannot begin to tell you how much this trend annoys me.

    Also, I have almost gotten used to straight men highlighting or bleaching their hair . . . almost. I grew up in the dark ages of the 1970's and 1980's. Back then if a man lightened his hair he was gay. Back then darkening hair to cover gray was never considered gay. It was usually a sign of a man who was recently divorced and on the dating scene again or had been laid off mid career and was trying to look younger while job hunting.
     
  10. Gillette

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    Avoid feather boas.
     
  11. B_big dirigible

    B_big dirigible New Member

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    Looks like you've already defined it.
     
  12. earllogjam

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    I'd say avoid Stiletto pumps as well.
     
  13. Ethyl

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  14. D_Gunther Snotpole

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    If you want to appear straight, let Matthew pick your clothes.
     
  15. dreamer20

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    If you feel that your clothes will give you the ability to look fashionable and attractive and yet no men will be attracted to you, you are living in a dream world. If you look halfway decent there's bound to be someone out there who will be attracted to you regardless of their sex. You shouldn't be thinking twice about the men in particular and crying "Oh God! I must be wearing gay-magnet clothes!" You can appear neat, presentable and attractive in classic or trendy clothing. However this does not mean that a world of women will start hitting on you. You have to as attractive as I am for that to happen.:biggrin1:
     
  16. B_agapeboy

    B_agapeboy New Member

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    as a straight fashion designer, i know a lot of gay male designers, but they are more interested in womens wear...a few straight men and a lot of women rule the mens wear world...if clothes look "gay" thats probably because a woman designer think a man should look that way...

    we all know that woman hate the way men dress in general and try to change there style by going shopping with them and telling them what looks good...most guys fall for it and buy what ever there girl tells them to...its a vicious cycle

    but personally i think people should dress how they feel and not how sombody else does...i really hate how people try to emulate what they see on tv...especially MTV...booooo MTV!
     
  17. dongalong

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    I totally agree with that, but there ARE people who dress to make clear their sexual orientation to others, for an exaggerated example.

    You just have to walk through Le Marais in Paris (the gay area) to see that there is a big difference between what men there wear, compared to the rest of Paris. You notice is that there is a lot more bare flesh showing or body hugging t-shirts.

    I probably worded my OP wrongly and it might have been less offensive if I'd written:
    What kinds of clothing gets you GAYDAR going?
     
  18. Onslow

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    That road travels two ways--a quyeer may go overboard but so might a heterosexual and in all honesty if I see a heterosexual man try too hard to look hetero then I would suspect him of being either slightly queer or at least closeted.
    Again, stop letting clothes rule you (and in turn, ruin, your life)
    Would you be wiloling to pay my airfare over to Paris so I can see just what you mean?

    Anything you shall wear sweetcheeks will set my gaydar off--I desire heterosexual men (which your profile lists you as) to an extreme and mentally make them all queerer than Napoleon.


    Wear whatever you enjoy wearing, tight fit or loose fit sparkles or not--stop getting caught up in what otheres may be thinking about your togs.
     
  19. WellHung83

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    Male fashion today though is so inbetween what used to be strictly straight and strictly gay in looks that it is harder to tell I think who is dressing to show their sexuality and who wants to just look nice and presentable. I mean, briefs at one stage were, funny as it sounds, meant that a guy must be gay and that straight boys wore only boxers or something really loose, when now of coarse tight fitting underwear is back in fashion thanks to boxer briefs and the old fashioned briefs again. And jeans that are straight legged or form fitting are also back in fashion for all men, with baggy styles really now only resigned to the gangsta teens or those who just can' be bothered to dress up well for the day and just want to be comfy and casual.
    I mean, I am bisexual, but I don' think I dress too gay but not too straight. My fave casual wear is wearing close fitting jeans with either a hoodie or a thin knit jumper on top with either converse sneakers or steel capped work boots for the feet. Sometimes I'kk even throw on a baseball cap or one of those 'army' looking hats if it's a really hot day and don' want to get severe sun burn. And I also like wearing briefs 99.9 % of the time, speedos when swimming in laps and sleeping nude in bed. Some of those tastes can be read as extremely gay or really straight, but in the end should not make me up or single me out to say what I am as a complete human being. I am more than what I wear and more than what I choose to fuck. lol
     
  20. benderten2001

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    A GREAT thread btw !

    You know, I've spent so much of my life worrying what others think!
    Actually, I like to "look good"....period.

    I think a lot of what's "acceptable" (or we deem acceptable) can very much be a regional thing if you will...the area where we live.

    I live in the conservative south. Example: A man wearing a pink shirt is....FROWNED upon----BIG time!

    Now, pink isn't "my color", but I got the nerve however, a few years ago in fact, to wear a fuchsia color :eek: polo shirt with a black blazer and white slacks to church. No one said anything (although who knows what was thought!) I'm tall anyway, and to have walked in like THAT took nerve! :wink:

    But, I had gotten my real courage a few years even earlier. You see, in that same church, I had noticed this (40'ish) man and his wife one Sunday. He was wearing a pink shirt and dark sportscoat; she had clothing which picked up just a little bit of the same palettes he was wearing. Maybe they intentionally planned to be wearing similar colors, or not, I don't know. But I DO know this couple is devoted to one another, very obviouisly affectionate, and he is all-man---period. NO ONE had better question it, either! He carried himself with such full confidence that Sunday. I took notice to him. And, his example? gave me tremendous courage. That pink shirt was a close match to my fuchsia shirt and doggone it, if HE could wear it, I could wear it. And, I did. I've worn it SEVERAL times in fact!

    If a straight guy wants to look good, then a lot of it is going to have to involve attitude. HIS personal attidude to wear what he wants. I recommend (to other men) just pausing and taking notice to what other guys who "look like they care" are wearing and pay attention to WHY they are attractive and handsome in their appearance. There's nothing wrong with admiring in others what works for them and learning from them. My big lesson too, was that in my business setting, I needed to plan my wardrobe for both "dressy" occasions and casual ones...where I was out and about on weekends, yet still "on the job" with various social settings.
    And I didn't want to look drab, either! Not when I was surrounded by other professionals who weren't scared of color and tastefully accessorizing their "look". I think many of these men (perhaps) have help from their wives, or their wives "insist" they maintain a certain appearance.

    I've said all along in this forum, numerous times, that guys aren't taught this stuff when growing up and the moment we dare start thinking about how we can "look good" it's like we immediately go into some panic mode that we must be gay. (A term I've also learned to detest!).
    I HATE labels.:mad:
     
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