1. SR_Ethan Hunke

    SR_Ethan Hunke New Member

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    I just want to get everyone's impression on the age gap thing, seeing that I have a slight turmoil with it.
    The thing is I am around 20 years of age, and in the past I have met some guys who are kind, thoughful, just all around great. However the one thing which holds me back is the difference in age. These tend to range from 26-30 year old guys.
    The thing is I don't really have much of an issue with the age difference, but anything over 10 is pushing it. I have a main issue with my parents. Its tough enough bringing someone over without having to add the age gap into the whole thing.

    So, does it really matter that much? Am I worrying over nothing?
     
  2. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

    D_Kitten_Kaboodle Account Disabled

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    I think you are worrying over nothing.

    do you have to tell your parents their ages?? why??

    my daughter is with a guy 10 yrs older than her but she is an adult. And she told me when she started dating that she was not interested in guys her age and that she liked older men....

    Only thing I care about is if he is that he loves her and is good to her (treats her with respect, etc.) ... and they get along great! Age is totally not important~~ so many other things to worry about...
     
  3. MarkLondon

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    It don't matter. If it feels right do it.
     
    #3 MarkLondon, Nov 6, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2011
  4. AM_092

    AM_092 Guest

    I understand what you mean!

    I'm attracted to men of all different ages, but if I'm bringing a boyfriend home to meet my parents, he would have to be no more than ten years older than me! The closer to my age the better! But if I do meet a great guy who's outside my preferred age range, I would still consider dating him. Ideally, it would just be easier if he was younger.

    My sexual experiences have generally been with older men, so I am looking for young guys. There's nothing wrong with that!
     
  5. B_thickjohnny

    B_thickjohnny New Member

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    My ex, with whom I was with for 5 years, is 30 years younger than me. It was fine for about 4 years even though I KNEW when we met it was too much of a gap. He pursued me endlessly and I caved. We dated and he moved in within months. He confessed after almost 5 years that the age gap was too much and needed to move on. PLUS he had cheated several times.

    I will never do it again. It's nice to play but for LTR 10 years will be my max.
     
  6. travis1985

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    I'm in my 20s and much more attracted to older guys than guys my own age. Lucky for me, some of them seem to not realize how much hotter guys are at their age than mine.

    I think the risk of dissatisfaction in an older-younger relationship is mostly the older guy's. The likelihood of a guy in his 30s, 40s, or 50s finding that his 20 year old bf is too immature or just not on the same plane seems pretty high. That could be pretty obnoxious to the older guy, but quite a treat for the young guy to be around his more mature, distinguished partner. Obviously that won't always be true, but I would think it is more often than not.
     
  7. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    To me this comes down to "taste". People are attracted to different types for a variety of reasons. Unless this attraction is causing you some grief or suffering, then just go with it and see what happens. And honestly your parents have no business telling you who you should hang out with. Good luck.
     
  8. hungboy18

    hungboy18 New Member

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    it shouldn't be an issue for you to bring someone over, it should be a reason to celebrate, obviously that's not the case for most gay people who walk in egg shells most of the time and are lucky if their families even accepts who they are, that's awful but...

    I think age has a lot more to do with how you think than anything else, as you get older you start to think differently and because of that you may not relate to an older or younger person's ideas all the time, but if you can maintain a healthy relationship with someone who is 10 or even more years older than you, then I think that relationship should be seen as equal as any.

    It's great that you want to introduce someone you like to your parents, so keep your head held high and if people say something against it then you should know that your opinion is more important than theirs and what you have with that person is beautiful.
     
  9. Phil Ayesho

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    Sounds like you do have a problem with it.
    More-over... you might also be feeling a little worried that guys that much older are interested in you specifically because you are that much younger, and wonder about their staying power as you age.


    Overall... you are 20. Your parents opinions ought no longer be a significant shaping factor in your romantic relationships.
     
  10. niceone0305

    niceone0305 Active Member

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    my other half is 22 years older than me......58/80.......never been a problem for us.At times has been quite humerous........people thinking I am his son.....My sons have always accepted our age differences and they lived with us most of their youth.I really dont see a problem..but then the gay community can make an issue out the smallest thong....Look what they use for role models,Logos "A" List and "A" list Texas...
     
  11. B_chinagirl4u2

    B_chinagirl4u2 New Member

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    if you love someome, age gap doesnt matter . jmho
     
  12. sexyy1010

    sexyy1010 New Member

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    I'm kind similair if not extreme.

    I'm 19 and love older guys. 30's, 40's, 50's it doesn't bother me.
    I'd only just turned 18 and I started something with a guy - who my family knew, who was 43.
    It didn't last long, but the time we had was great. I couldn't have told my family because they wouldn't have understood. To me age is a number. that's all.
     
  13. Unnamed

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    at some gaps you've got to think "why are they dating some guy their dad/son's age"? 10 yrs isn't enough for such thoughts.
     
  14. D_Pokin Joe Frazier

    D_Pokin Joe Frazier New Member

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    It's no big deal in fact I think it's better if the guy is 10 years older I feel men an women match up better that way I am 46 and my girl is 30 it works out perfect.
     
  15. salter

    salter Active Member

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    I think this is way more complicated than some of the comments would indicate. You are certainly not the only person I know who is reluctant to bring home a significant other because of the age difference. These are people whose parents have know they are gay for years but that's still a sticking point. And speaking as a person with grown children I think my opinions do matter to my kids but they know in the end they do what they want and I accept that. I think that's a health parent-child relationship.

    You might want to watch this documentary and maybe do some reading about it: Chris & Don - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Good luck.
     
  16. Stephenmass

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    Salter, I actually saw that documentary; I think it was on Logo or something like that. It was quite good actually....they had their problems here and there, but in the long run they endured.
     
  17. Bbucko

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    I think the age gap matters more before you turn 30. Usually by the time you reach that age you have a good notion of yourself, your limits, and what you really want to do with your life. You also should have at least launched your career and should have a nicely solid income. All that was true for me.

    Age difference in a relationship is a negative to me when there's asymmetrical power: LTRs should be partnerships of equals. That's why, though I played with a wide range of men in my 20s, I always selected my partners within an age gap of no greater than four years.

    About four years ago, I attempted to build a relationship with a guy who was 22 years younger than me (47/25). Thought it might work because he was extremely smart (160+ IQ), we shared many common interests and we were very compatible sexually. What I didn't understand, at first, was that his emotional maturity needed a lot of growth; he frequently said things he thought I'd want to hear instead of the truth. And though scary-smart, he couldn't reason his way out of a wet paper bag. It was over (at least for me) within seven or eight months, which was when I pulled the plug.

    Everyone's an individual, so there is no one rule about age difference and its effect on relationships: I've seen plenty that worked well. It's just for me, I prefer relationships with my peers.
     
  18. Countryguy63

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    The age gap that you are talking about is very minimal, although I don't mean at all to take away from your concerns.

    Parents are a big part of your life, but at some point it needs to become more about you, than them. You know more than we do about how they may react, but it also may be an unfounded fear.

    Are you able to talk to them about it? I know one young man who told them when he came out, "I like older men, and here's why"...

    Doesn't work for everyone, but who knows?

    Good Luck
     
  19. B_jeepguy2

    B_jeepguy2 New Member

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    I honestly think gay men's desires change over time. When I was in my teens and early 20s I had crushes on many older male teachers and coaches, and my high school principal who was an ex football jock. I really had the total hots for my high school Government teacher who was the about the age of my dad. He had to have been packing a huge piece based on the size of the bulge in the khaki pants he wore. LOL

    There was also this HOT guy who was about 40 that my dad hired to work for his company back when I was in high school and I wanted him bad too. Same deal, he was married and had kids but I still used to fantasize about him because I thought he was hot as hell.

    Now I am in my late 30s and I find that I am not attracted to many men my age or older anymore. Now what really turns me on now is a young, cleancut 20 something guy, with a fratty look. LOL

    I am glad there are some of you young guys who are into guys over 30!
     
    #19 B_jeepguy2, Nov 8, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2011
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