The art of conversation is dead...

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Ellerby Eatsprick, Mar 3, 2010.

  1. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    This obviously is a man thing... (and I'm sure it happens with women too) I find it very annoying, especially with MSN or cell text conversations. Nearly ALL my male friends does this, even the ones I've been friends for years.

    Guy: Hey ! How's it going?
    Me: Hey ! I'm doing good ! What's new with you?
    Guy: Ah not much.
    Me: Ohh... well I went to the gym this morning then I worked from 10 to 7 and I finished this cool book today.
    Guy: Cool.
    Me: (thinking to myself 'Just cool?' No question about the gym or how work was? No question about what book I was reading?) So.. what did you do today?
    Guy : Ah nothing much.
    Me: Did you go to the gym today?
    Guy: Yup, went in the morning...
    Me: How was the gym?
    Guy: It was good...
    Me: (Trying to get a conversation going) Well I ran 5 km in 40 minutes today and deadlifted 105 lbs today.
    Guy : Cool...
    Me: (thinking: congratulations buddy...you have just lost my interest in you)

    WHY even start the conversation with me if you have nothing to say !!! :rolleyes: I like to hear details about people's life. I like to hear about what is going on in people's life, what they are up to, etc...

    I am finding that kind of conversation to happen with my recent ex and I know my ex is a brilliant intelligent guy and I'll ask him what's new and he'll say "Not much." WOW...way to entice me...

    I often feel like I have to do all the work to carry on a conversation...I understand some people talk more in real life than on MSN, but then WHY even bother at all in the first place on MSN or texting?

    BUT if I toss in the topic of sex... they will start talking :rolleyes: and I love talking about sex, but maybe I want to talk about other things too. Geez.
     
    #1 D_Ellerby Eatsprick, Mar 3, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2010
  2. crescendo69

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  3. D_Bemeslay Bugthorpe Boobtube III

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    I can't say I've ever engaged in a conversation like that, unless I was preoccupied with something else. Sounds like you need new male friends or dates.
     
  4. D_Czarova Zucchini

    D_Czarova Zucchini New Member

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    Maybe I'd hope you would have something to say.
     
  5. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    And I always have something to say, but it has be reciprocated with something YOU have to say too. Two way street buddy.
     
  6. D_Czarova Zucchini

    D_Czarova Zucchini New Member

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    since when?

    I've known plenty of gals who can keep up both ends of a conversation.

    I'd just get in the way. :wink:
     
    #6 D_Czarova Zucchini, Mar 3, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2010
  7. earllogjam

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    These empty words and phrases should be banned from the English language to avoid brain numbing conversations.

    Cool
    Neat
    Dude
    Interesting
    I don't know.
    Whatever
    Have a nice day.
    Wow
    Really?
     
  8. Fleur

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    I love talking...maybe it's the Italian in me...but I love conversation...which is ironic, because I'm rather shy until I get comfortable with someone...and even then.

    I've had chats like this before...it's rather mind-numbing. I really think there are people out there who expect you to entertain them and do not realize that conversation is a mutual activity... <3
     
  9. D_Czarova Zucchini

    D_Czarova Zucchini New Member

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    what do you say if someone asls you a question and you don't know the answer?
     
  10. drumstyck

    drumstyck New Member

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    my english teacher in 7th grade forbade us from using boring words like "neat" or "good" or "very" or "really" or "nice" in our papers...well, we could use the words, but we werent supposed to say that something was "really good" or "very nice".
     
  11. Wish-4-8

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    There was this girl that used to call me and expected me to entertain her. WTF?
    I was like, "then why did you call," or "wait, you called me". I dont need a list of your day's activities.

    I agree. Unless you have something specific to discuss, then its time to hang up. I have this other friend who will call me up. My cue to get off the phone is when he asks, "So what else is going on?" To me that is a conversation killer. And I have told him that. "When you ask me that, its time to hang up."
     
  12. dolfette

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    you make an obvious mistake.
    the less effort he makes, the more you make.
    to him, his responses are working.
    in these situations use ''uh huh''
    if he posts a crappy, one word reply,
    you reply with a mere ''uh huh''
    and suddenly the pressure to get the conversation going again is on him.
     
  13. Hotrocker

    Hotrocker Well-Known Member

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    LOL. How dull.
     
  14. dolfette

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    uh huh
     
  15. ConstantComment

    ConstantComment New Member

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    I agree with this. I am quite careful about conversation because I don't want to give more away than they do. Women can be like this as well. You tell them about the wonderful projects that you're working on either in work or in your personal life and then they say nothing about themselves.

    When I finally became more agressive about conversation (read: decisive), I did notice conversations withering right before my eyes. This is one of the interesting difference between Americans and Brits. Americans think its only rude to talk too much about oneself. The thought that it's rude to say nothing at all has yet to gain currency (although I remember my mother complaining about how my dad's brother was pretty mum about what his kids were up to when my parents will tell every and anybody about every single move we do.)

    Brits, OTOH, know that sucking info out of someone is as much a coup as an act of rudeness. When I was married, I soon learned not to answer questions about my husband other than the fact that he was fine. This gave too much material for my (so called) friends to have conversations with him and leaving me out of them.
     
  16. SilverTrain

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    I love a conversation filled with polysyllabic embroidery as much as the next bloke, but for my mind, the words you've listed have great value.

    I use them all, routinely. Not if I'm talking to the Chief Justice or Royalty, of course, but for everyone else, there's a time and a place....
     
  17. Vestigial

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    The difference with LPSG chats is they usually sneak an "asl?" in before being given the hint that I'm not doing cyber.

    I've tried get someone to talk about common daily activities like their laundry before. Didn't work out too well.


    But look, what am I supposed to talk about with people? Some public chat examples:

    _______________________________________________

    Them: *talking about ships / harbour*
    Me: I tried lifting a ship's engine block on the docks the other day... maybe I should start with a car.
    (no response)
    _______________________________________________

    Them: Got tha bangin chuunes in ma deck fo when i go cruisn'
    Me: Tape deck?
    (no response for about 8 minutes)
    Them: ...
    _______________________________________________

    Them: Boredom is rampant
    Them: I just need to find a new game to play
    Me: Only games I played recently were a quiz program, and another where some guy is running across rooftops.
    Me: But what kind of new game are you after?
    (no response)
    _______________________________________________

    :confused:
     
    #17 Vestigial, Mar 3, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2010
  18. D_Leotols Toy

    D_Leotols Toy New Member

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    Props to you agirlonfire for doing deadlifts. Most girls I know are like what?! cardio4lifez!

    As far as conversation goes, people lack in this department. It seems all too uncommon and for this very reason I avoid small talk. It may seem like I don't enjoy talking, but it's quite the opposite. I'd just rather have meaningful conversation.
     
  19. molotovmuffin

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    Give me quick and easy banter back and forth any day of the week. Show me you got some wit behind your words, PLEASE!!! I had multiple conversations daily with the last man I was seeing, We didn't have anything real to say but our conversations lasted hours. Often we would be talking on the phone and chatting online as well. I miss talking with him.
     
  20. Daisy

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    AMEN sister (agirlonfire)!!! I agree 100%.
     
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