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The art of conversation is dead...

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This obviously is a man thing... (and I'm sure it happens with women too) I find it very annoying, especially with MSN or cell text conversations. Nearly ALL my male friends does this, even the ones I've been friends for years.

Guy: Hey ! How's it going?
Me: Hey ! I'm doing good ! What's new with you?
Guy: Ah not much.
Me: Ohh... well I went to the gym this morning then I worked from 10 to 7 and I finished this cool book today.
Guy: Cool.
Me: (thinking to myself 'Just cool?' No question about the gym or how work was? No question about what book I was reading?) So.. what did you do today?
Guy : Ah nothing much.
Me: Did you go to the gym today?
Guy: Yup, went in the morning...
Me: How was the gym?
Guy: It was good...
Me: (Trying to get a conversation going) Well I ran 5 km in 40 minutes today and deadlifted 105 lbs today.
Guy : Cool...
Me: (thinking: congratulations buddy...you have just lost my interest in you)

WHY even start the conversation with me if you have nothing to say !!! :rolleyes: I like to hear details about people's life. I like to hear about what is going on in people's life, what they are up to, etc...

I am finding that kind of conversation to happen with my recent ex and I know my ex is a brilliant intelligent guy and I'll ask him what's new and he'll say "Not much." WOW...way to entice me...

I often feel like I have to do all the work to carry on a conversation...I understand some people talk more in real life than on MSN, but then WHY even bother at all in the first place on MSN or texting?

BUT if I toss in the topic of sex... they will start talking :rolleyes: and I love talking about sex, but maybe I want to talk about other things too. Geez.
 
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earllogjam

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These empty words and phrases should be banned from the English language to avoid brain numbing conversations.

Cool
Neat
Dude
Interesting
I don't know.
Whatever
Have a nice day.
Wow
Really?
 

Fleur

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I love talking...maybe it's the Italian in me...but I love conversation...which is ironic, because I'm rather shy until I get comfortable with someone...and even then.

I've had chats like this before...it's rather mind-numbing. I really think there are people out there who expect you to entertain them and do not realize that conversation is a mutual activity... <3
 

drumstyck

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These empty words and phrases should be banned from the English language to avoid brain numbing conversations.

Cool
Neat
Dude
Interesting
I don't know.
Whatever
Have a nice day.
Wow
Really?

my english teacher in 7th grade forbade us from using boring words like "neat" or "good" or "very" or "really" or "nice" in our papers...well, we could use the words, but we werent supposed to say that something was "really good" or "very nice".
 

Wish-4-8

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There was this girl that used to call me and expected me to entertain her. WTF?
I was like, "then why did you call," or "wait, you called me". I dont need a list of your day's activities.

I agree. Unless you have something specific to discuss, then its time to hang up. I have this other friend who will call me up. My cue to get off the phone is when he asks, "So what else is going on?" To me that is a conversation killer. And I have told him that. "When you ask me that, its time to hang up."
 

dolfette

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you make an obvious mistake.
the less effort he makes, the more you make.
to him, his responses are working.
in these situations use ''uh huh''
if he posts a crappy, one word reply,
you reply with a mere ''uh huh''
and suddenly the pressure to get the conversation going again is on him.
 

Hotrocker

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This obviously is a man thing... (and I'm sure it happens with women too) I find it very annoying, especially with MSN or cell text conversations. Nearly ALL my male friends does this, even the ones I've been friends for years.

Guy: Hey ! How's it going?
Me: Hey ! I'm doing good ! What's new with you?
Guy: Ah not much.
Me: Ohh... well I went to the gym this morning then I worked from 10 to 7 and I finished this cool book today.
Guy: Cool.
Me: (thinking to myself 'Just cool?' No question about the gym or how work was? No question about what book I was reading?) So.. what did you do today?
Guy : Ah nothing much.
Me: Did you go to the gym today?
Guy: Yup, went in the morning...
Me: How was the gym?
Guy: It was good...
Me: (Trying to get a conversation going) Well I ran 5 km in 40 minutes today and deadlifted 105 lbs today.
Guy : Cool...
Me: (thinking: congratulations buddy...you have just lost my interest in you)

WHY even start the conversation with me if you have nothing to say !!! :rolleyes: I like to hear details about people's life. I like to hear about what is going on in people's life, what they are up to, etc...

I am finding that kind of conversation to happen with my recent ex and I know my ex is a brilliant intelligent guy and I'll ask him what's new and he'll say "Not much." WOW...way to entice me...

I often feel like I have to do all the work to carry on a conversation...I understand some people talk more in real life than on MSN, but then WHY even bother at all in the first place on MSN or texting?

BUT if I toss in the topic of sex... they will start talking :rolleyes: and I love talking about sex, but maybe I want to talk about other things too. Geez.

LOL. How dull.
 

ConstantComment

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you make an obvious mistake.
the less effort he makes, the more you make.
to him, his responses are working.
in these situations use ''uh huh''
if he posts a crappy, one word reply,
you reply with a mere ''uh huh''
and suddenly the pressure to get the conversation going again is on him.

I agree with this. I am quite careful about conversation because I don't want to give more away than they do. Women can be like this as well. You tell them about the wonderful projects that you're working on either in work or in your personal life and then they say nothing about themselves.

When I finally became more agressive about conversation (read: decisive), I did notice conversations withering right before my eyes. This is one of the interesting difference between Americans and Brits. Americans think its only rude to talk too much about oneself. The thought that it's rude to say nothing at all has yet to gain currency (although I remember my mother complaining about how my dad's brother was pretty mum about what his kids were up to when my parents will tell every and anybody about every single move we do.)

Brits, OTOH, know that sucking info out of someone is as much a coup as an act of rudeness. When I was married, I soon learned not to answer questions about my husband other than the fact that he was fine. This gave too much material for my (so called) friends to have conversations with him and leaving me out of them.
 
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These empty words and phrases should be banned from the English language to avoid brain numbing conversations.

Cool
Neat
Dude
Interesting
I don't know.
Whatever
Have a nice day.
Wow
Really?

I love a conversation filled with polysyllabic embroidery as much as the next bloke, but for my mind, the words you've listed have great value.

I use them all, routinely. Not if I'm talking to the Chief Justice or Royalty, of course, but for everyone else, there's a time and a place....
 
6

68306

The difference with LPSG chats is they usually sneak an "asl?" in before being given the hint that I'm not doing cyber.

I've tried get someone to talk about common daily activities like their laundry before. Didn't work out too well.


But look, what am I supposed to talk about with people? Some public chat examples:

_______________________________________________

Them: *talking about ships / harbour*
Me: I tried lifting a ship's engine block on the docks the other day... maybe I should start with a car.
(no response)
_______________________________________________

Them: Got tha bangin chuunes in ma deck fo when i go cruisn'
Me: Tape deck?
(no response for about 8 minutes)
Them: ...
_______________________________________________

Them: Boredom is rampant
Them: I just need to find a new game to play
Me: Only games I played recently were a quiz program, and another where some guy is running across rooftops.
Me: But what kind of new game are you after?
(no response)
_______________________________________________

:confused:
 
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D_Leotols Toy

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Props to you agirlonfire for doing deadlifts. Most girls I know are like what?! cardio4lifez!

As far as conversation goes, people lack in this department. It seems all too uncommon and for this very reason I avoid small talk. It may seem like I don't enjoy talking, but it's quite the opposite. I'd just rather have meaningful conversation.
 

molotovmuffin

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Give me quick and easy banter back and forth any day of the week. Show me you got some wit behind your words, PLEASE!!! I had multiple conversations daily with the last man I was seeing, We didn't have anything real to say but our conversations lasted hours. Often we would be talking on the phone and chatting online as well. I miss talking with him.
 

LambHair McNeil

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With a recent newspaper article speaking of the supposed death of blogging among the youth (blogging...like whatever dude, it takes like !wow! forever) and the continued rise of things like Twitter and "unlimited texting", conversational arts are certainly on the same conveyor belt the dinosaurs once were. Face it, enlightening banter via those options is limited to 140 characters or less - doesn't bode well for future real-world conversational skills.
 

ConstantComment

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Todays' technology is great and I am glad that it's here. I was thingking about the difference between finding a job now and in the 90s when you had to buy stationery; print out a letter; buy a stamp an post it.

Now it's all electronic. (Of course my parents, even in advising my niece who is coming out college still like that idea of "walking down" your resume and just showing to a manager's office. They think that's the only way to show interest....."

Still, there is e-mail that allows for thoughtful message; message boards; blogging. Plus the issues tht I have with the art of conversation have nothing to do with today's abbreviations with speaking . It has everything to do with intent: 1) whether others are open to sharing information about themselves; 2) how they intend to use the information that you do give them.
 

B_icewill36

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This obviously is a man thing... (and I'm sure it happens with women too) I find it very annoying, especially with MSN or cell text conversations. Nearly ALL my male friends does this, even the ones I've been friends for years.

Guy: Hey ! How's it going?
Me: Hey ! I'm doing good ! What's new with you?
Guy: Ah not much.
Me: Ohh... well I went to the gym this morning then I worked from 10 to 7 and I finished this cool book today.
Guy: Cool.
Me: (thinking to myself 'Just cool?' No question about the gym or how work was? No question about what book I was reading?) So.. what did you do today?
Guy : Ah nothing much.
Me: Did you go to the gym today?
Guy: Yup, went in the morning...
Me: How was the gym?
Guy: It was good...
Me: (Trying to get a conversation going) Well I ran 5 km in 40 minutes today and deadlifted 105 lbs today.
Guy : Cool...
Me: (thinking: congratulations buddy...you have just lost my interest in you)

WHY even start the conversation with me if you have nothing to say !!! :rolleyes: I like to hear details about people's life. I like to hear about what is going on in people's life, what they are up to, etc...

I am finding that kind of conversation to happen with my recent ex and I know my ex is a brilliant intelligent guy and I'll ask him what's new and he'll say "Not much." WOW...way to entice me...

I often feel like I have to do all the work to carry on a conversation...I understand some people talk more in real life than on MSN, but then WHY even bother at all in the first place on MSN or texting?

BUT if I toss in the topic of sex... they will start talking :rolleyes: and I love talking about sex, but maybe I want to talk about other things too. Geez.

women connect through communicating, men connect through sex (serious)
 

B_crackoff

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such a pity we require you to communicate your way into our pants then.

Ah but we do. And it's a real effort! And it vanishes soon after conquest.

Women love gossip. Men are only interested if it's humourous to them.

A man tells a story, & it's the facts; women embroider it in a rich tapestry of feelings, description, & all kinds of miscellaneous data, delivered in an artful & poetic rhythm.

All the man will be thinking is "Yes or NO. Did you get some f8cking milk!"
 

midlifebear

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Most of the women who chat me up are interested in only whining about the trials and tribulations of being female. Recently, during a visit from my old girlfriend during the most lurid 2 years of the 1970s, she spent the majority of her time complaining about her new job as an registered nurse. She complained the entire four years she was in school about how dull it was compared to the first time she attended undergraduate school. Then, upon receiving her degree (she did rather well, by the way) and getting a very good paying job in a pharmacy clinic, she decided the work wasn't challenging enough.

The third night she was visiting she brought up recent books she had read and asked if I'd read any of them. I've been living in a country where English is NOT a common language. So, I've been reading a great deal, yes, but nothing in English. I simply responded, "It's been long time since I've read anything in English." I didn't mean to be snobbish or stuffy. It was and is simply the truth.

Well, that put a cork in her for the rest of her stay. And I was sort of grateful. It got her out of my house on her own to explore the city and nearby beach resorts, museums, figure out how to order food for herself, and go shopping.

She still thinks I was being a snob by telling her that I hadn't read anything in English in a long time. But I wasn't in the mood to explain it to her. She's a big girl (in her 50s) and can think rightly or wrongly for herself. But her initial conversations were certainly the most boring things I've recently had to sit through -- and I've recently sat through some amazingly bad modern art performances where the actors and singers should have been lined up and shot. THAT would have been more entertaining.

But if you're stuck in middle 'Mericuh worried about 'Mericuhn Idle, you deserve what little conversation you can get.
 

dolfette

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A man tells a story, & it's the facts; women embroider it in a rich tapestry of feelings, description, & all kinds of miscellaneous data, delivered in an artful & poetic rhythm.
i don't.
i'll happily go several days without talking, if my kids are away, and be startled by the sound of my own voice when i eventually speak again.