It's so funny - he literally clubs people(& I remember the 1st time he manged to kick someone!)! I guess they train for that with sacks of spuds though. You'd think that with an Nfl/wrestling background, he'd last a wee bit longer...any thoughts on Lesnar long term - ass that he can be?
The art of conversation is dead...
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It's so funny - he literally clubs people(& I remember the 1st time he manged to kick someone!)! I guess they train for that with sacks of spuds though. You'd think that with an Nfl/wrestling background, he'd last a wee bit longer...any thoughts on Lesnar long term - ass that he can be?
Funny, we were taught to use those words, but we had to be able to say 5-15 more words after that or ask a question. Ie. WOW, that's really neat ! Where did you buy it?
I agree too. TOTAL conversation killer. Worse one is : "Do you have any questions for me?"
While I could go on about a topic, I sometimes omit details to see if the person will further press for more details, so that I can give them the opportunity to contribute to the conversation or ask a question. I find that even if I do, they still don't contribute.
I resent that statement. Please don't generalize women to be gossip. Men are just as bad as gossip, as well.
My friends feels intimidated by me because I don't indulge in fiction or romance. I tend to read non-fiction. I prefer books that have been heavily researched, backed up by sources and facts. When they recommend a book to me, I usually tell them no thanks and that it's not my genre, they get offended and kinda give me the "You're a snob" attitude.
Maybe you didn't read my original post thoroughly. I asked those men questions, questions that are not close ended (yes / no). Those questions I've asked are open ended which means they have the opportunity to elaborate on their answer. I should not have to ask question after question to keep a conversation flowing.
SO WHY start a conversation if they don't feel like talking?
I relate to you on that. I have both hearing and deaf friends. I do not relate to my deaf friends at all, at any point. None of them have gone onto college or university to get their degree. They are all the ones that have grown up and went to school together, and use their deafness to hold them back. When I converse with them, it's more of fucking banter, to put it that way. There is so much drama going in the small deaf community, because everyone knows someone. So I refrain from being a part of that.
As for hearing people - same idea as you. I don't engage in politics. I have interest in sports, but not everyone does. I have absolutely no interest in celebrity gossip. I absolutely love talking about sex, but not everyone is as sexual as I am, plus there is an appropriate time and place for that. I am interested in the mundane details of a person's life, but I have to have the opportunity to chime in / contribute.
Culture will play information in that. The deaf culture is about information sharing. Many deaf people will share information on everything. Privacy of information in the deaf culture is considered to be rude. And while I don't mean to generalize the hearing culture, it has been in my experience, that most hearing people happen to be more private and don't openly divulge information on everything. Ie. Deaf people will openly discuss the cost of their house, their mortgage, renovations, etc... I have asked hearing people about the costs, their mortgage, etc.. and have been told "None of my business", while the deaf will openly share that information, in hope it will help others or that someone else might have additional information to help them.
I agree with you that nobody wants to sit over dinner for a long time. I always tried to eat dinner at the table, but all my exs wanted to eat in front of the tv.
Though, I think there is nothing wrong with socializing over a game, concert, alcohol or something to bring two people together. For example, my gf and I bond the best over window shopping. And window shopping will take about 2-3 hours. We get exercise out of it and ideas of things we want to buy, and we enjoy idle conversation as well.
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Ernesto Hoost (sp?) was like a ragdoll against Sapp's first few punches. Then he just got too tired.to go on.
Is he healthy again? If he's finally recovered back to his old self, he should be untoppable (unfortunately). Yeah, I'm not really fond of him.
I was in a bar in Santa Fe last year and with the exception of a section in the corner, the place was loud. In that small section was a group of about 20 very animated people signing each other. It was interesting seeing them "noisy" in a silent fashion.
There is?? Maybe that's why people avoid me in polite company.
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As someone who isnt the best at conversation i find 'really?' the best word ever. It shows i am still interested and keeps my input to a minimum.
What is the purpose of the conversation?
Deborah Tannen has written several books on this. Typically, men use conversation for either "informational" purposes (just the facts, ma'am), or to "one-up" each other (gain some sort of abstract "advantage" via the display of more knowledge, more interesting experiences, etc.).
Women (typically) use conversation to express and ratify feelings. An anecdote is related, the woman expresses how she acted and why, and her friends' jobs are to confirm that she did the right thing and felt the right way. Sometimes, the anecdote has nothing to do with the woman but is some news story or celebrity gossip item.
Certainly, these are not hard and fast rules or definitions of normality, just the way conversational purposes usually shake out. There are plenty of men who gossip and plenty of women who are conversationally "functional".
I find that I'm very good at flirty dialogue in chat and IM, and I write well-regarded emails. But if you have me in a face-to-face conversation, I prefer you either get to the point immediately or be as entertaining as hell getting there. Leave out the extraneous details. Edit yourself, if possible. I feel like I'm quite good at doing this on the fly, just including the details that are absolutely necessary for the conclusion to make sense. (And, for God's sake, if you tell a story, have either a conclusion or a question at the end.)
One thing that really frustrates me is when someone (usually a woman) describes a situation in his/her life in painstaking detail, then asks my opinion on what he/she should do. (This is 99% of the time romantic relationship issues.) I give some advice that is objective, fair, hopefully practical. Then they turn around and tell the exact same story to someone else, also asking for advice. They will probably continue this way with all available acquaintances, and at the end they will take no one's advice. That's because they were never actually looking to solve the problem in the first place -- they just wanted assurances that they were the injured party and that the bad guy in the story was indeed bad. This is the female approach that Deborah Tannen described and it's not something I'm good at dealing with, because I just don't get it. My emotions don't typically work that way.
Guys tend to be problem-solvers. If you tell us a story, we are abstracting it for the important facets and suggesting solutions that address these facets. We often don't see or comprehend the emotional tissue connecting these facets.
One "test" I think about in judging someone's "conversation-worthiness" is how good a phone message they leave. Whenever I call someone, I think about the message I'll leave and if I even need to leave one. I do this well before the beeping prompt, and my messages are short, sweet, to the point. I've had some girlfriends who left messages that went on and on and on, with nothing being accomplished until the very end when they figured out whether I should call them back, if so when, etc. But it was 40 years in the desert for them to collect their thoughts and synthesize them down to the info I needed to react to.
Kevbo
Deborah Tannen has written several books on this. Typically, men use conversation for either "informational" purposes (just the facts, ma'am), or to "one-up" each other (gain some sort of abstract "advantage" via the display of more knowledge, more interesting experiences, etc.).
Women (typically) use conversation to express and ratify feelings. An anecdote is related, the woman expresses how she acted and why, and her friends' jobs are to confirm that she did the right thing and felt the right way. Sometimes, the anecdote has nothing to do with the woman but is some news story or celebrity gossip item.
Certainly, these are not hard and fast rules or definitions of normality, just the way conversational purposes usually shake out. There are plenty of men who gossip and plenty of women who are conversationally "functional".
I find that I'm very good at flirty dialogue in chat and IM, and I write well-regarded emails. But if you have me in a face-to-face conversation, I prefer you either get to the point immediately or be as entertaining as hell getting there. Leave out the extraneous details. Edit yourself, if possible. I feel like I'm quite good at doing this on the fly, just including the details that are absolutely necessary for the conclusion to make sense. (And, for God's sake, if you tell a story, have either a conclusion or a question at the end.)
One thing that really frustrates me is when someone (usually a woman) describes a situation in his/her life in painstaking detail, then asks my opinion on what he/she should do. (This is 99% of the time romantic relationship issues.) I give some advice that is objective, fair, hopefully practical. Then they turn around and tell the exact same story to someone else, also asking for advice. They will probably continue this way with all available acquaintances, and at the end they will take no one's advice. That's because they were never actually looking to solve the problem in the first place -- they just wanted assurances that they were the injured party and that the bad guy in the story was indeed bad. This is the female approach that Deborah Tannen described and it's not something I'm good at dealing with, because I just don't get it. My emotions don't typically work that way.
Guys tend to be problem-solvers. If you tell us a story, we are abstracting it for the important facets and suggesting solutions that address these facets. We often don't see or comprehend the emotional tissue connecting these facets.
One "test" I think about in judging someone's "conversation-worthiness" is how good a phone message they leave. Whenever I call someone, I think about the message I'll leave and if I even need to leave one. I do this well before the beeping prompt, and my messages are short, sweet, to the point. I've had some girlfriends who left messages that went on and on and on, with nothing being accomplished until the very end when they figured out whether I should call them back, if so when, etc. But it was 40 years in the desert for them to collect their thoughts and synthesize them down to the info I needed to react to.
Kevbo
That's the best part about being deaf is that we can go anywhere and have a great conversation. We can't be deterred by a noisy environment, and we can talk about ANYTHING and nobody will know (unless they knew sign language)
And okay I probably should take back on perhaps that there is a good time and place to talk about sex... because I talk about it all the time. I just might watch what I say at work or when there are young kids around. Otherwise, I don't give a shit.
I've noticed the same thing about women doing that too - telling a person their situation and not taking the advice to heart, then continue on to telling other people. Depending on the situation, I usually only need to tell it once, just to get it off my chest. It usually just takes one person to just help change my perspective or way of thinking.
I never have discussed the break up with my ex with any of my friends, coworkers or family. I did confide in a male coworker, that my recent break up has really affected me, that I was really depressed back in December, but that now I was much happier than I was 4 months ago. He said he didn't have anything to say but was glad to hear that I'm happier than I was months ago. I told him that he didn't need to say anything at all. Sometimes the other person doesn't need to say anything. All that it matters is that they listened.
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Have to play devil advocate here... what if you met a beautiful gorgeous woman who was everything you were looking for in a partner, except she was deaf, but spoke very well for a deaf person, and could hear "normal" with a hearing aid, and lip read very well?
Would your attitude about texting change?
texting is a necessity because cell phones suck
sorry but even after all these years the best cell phone still sounds worse than the cheapest phone on a working landline
sorry but even after all these years the best cell phone still sounds worse than the cheapest phone on a working landline
My last 1-hour international call confirmed this. Spent a fair amount of time asking them to repeat what was said.
Some people feel compelled to return the favor when I send them a 5 page long SMS.
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