The art of conversation is dead...

LambHair McNeil

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With a recent newspaper article speaking of the supposed death of blogging among the youth (blogging...like whatever dude, it takes like !wow! forever) and the continued rise of things like Twitter and "unlimited texting", conversational arts are certainly on the same conveyor belt the dinosaurs once were. Face it, enlightening banter via those options is limited to 140 characters or less - doesn't bode well for future real-world conversational skills.
 

ConstantComment

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Todays' technology is great and I am glad that it's here. I was thingking about the difference between finding a job now and in the 90s when you had to buy stationery; print out a letter; buy a stamp an post it.

Now it's all electronic. (Of course my parents, even in advising my niece who is coming out college still like that idea of "walking down" your resume and just showing to a manager's office. They think that's the only way to show interest....."

Still, there is e-mail that allows for thoughtful message; message boards; blogging. Plus the issues tht I have with the art of conversation have nothing to do with today's abbreviations with speaking . It has everything to do with intent: 1) whether others are open to sharing information about themselves; 2) how they intend to use the information that you do give them.
 

B_icewill36

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This obviously is a man thing... (and I'm sure it happens with women too) I find it very annoying, especially with MSN or cell text conversations. Nearly ALL my male friends does this, even the ones I've been friends for years.

Guy: Hey ! How's it going?
Me: Hey ! I'm doing good ! What's new with you?
Guy: Ah not much.
Me: Ohh... well I went to the gym this morning then I worked from 10 to 7 and I finished this cool book today.
Guy: Cool.
Me: (thinking to myself 'Just cool?' No question about the gym or how work was? No question about what book I was reading?) So.. what did you do today?
Guy : Ah nothing much.
Me: Did you go to the gym today?
Guy: Yup, went in the morning...
Me: How was the gym?
Guy: It was good...
Me: (Trying to get a conversation going) Well I ran 5 km in 40 minutes today and deadlifted 105 lbs today.
Guy : Cool...
Me: (thinking: congratulations buddy...you have just lost my interest in you)

WHY even start the conversation with me if you have nothing to say !!! :rolleyes: I like to hear details about people's life. I like to hear about what is going on in people's life, what they are up to, etc...

I am finding that kind of conversation to happen with my recent ex and I know my ex is a brilliant intelligent guy and I'll ask him what's new and he'll say "Not much." WOW...way to entice me...

I often feel like I have to do all the work to carry on a conversation...I understand some people talk more in real life than on MSN, but then WHY even bother at all in the first place on MSN or texting?

BUT if I toss in the topic of sex... they will start talking :rolleyes: and I love talking about sex, but maybe I want to talk about other things too. Geez.

women connect through communicating, men connect through sex (serious)
 

B_crackoff

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such a pity we require you to communicate your way into our pants then.

Ah but we do. And it's a real effort! And it vanishes soon after conquest.

Women love gossip. Men are only interested if it's humourous to them.

A man tells a story, & it's the facts; women embroider it in a rich tapestry of feelings, description, & all kinds of miscellaneous data, delivered in an artful & poetic rhythm.

All the man will be thinking is "Yes or NO. Did you get some f8cking milk!"
 

midlifebear

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Most of the women who chat me up are interested in only whining about the trials and tribulations of being female. Recently, during a visit from my old girlfriend during the most lurid 2 years of the 1970s, she spent the majority of her time complaining about her new job as an registered nurse. She complained the entire four years she was in school about how dull it was compared to the first time she attended undergraduate school. Then, upon receiving her degree (she did rather well, by the way) and getting a very good paying job in a pharmacy clinic, she decided the work wasn't challenging enough.

The third night she was visiting she brought up recent books she had read and asked if I'd read any of them. I've been living in a country where English is NOT a common language. So, I've been reading a great deal, yes, but nothing in English. I simply responded, "It's been long time since I've read anything in English." I didn't mean to be snobbish or stuffy. It was and is simply the truth.

Well, that put a cork in her for the rest of her stay. And I was sort of grateful. It got her out of my house on her own to explore the city and nearby beach resorts, museums, figure out how to order food for herself, and go shopping.

She still thinks I was being a snob by telling her that I hadn't read anything in English in a long time. But I wasn't in the mood to explain it to her. She's a big girl (in her 50s) and can think rightly or wrongly for herself. But her initial conversations were certainly the most boring things I've recently had to sit through -- and I've recently sat through some amazingly bad modern art performances where the actors and singers should have been lined up and shot. THAT would have been more entertaining.

But if you're stuck in middle 'Mericuh worried about 'Mericuhn Idle, you deserve what little conversation you can get.
 

dolfette

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A man tells a story, & it's the facts; women embroider it in a rich tapestry of feelings, description, & all kinds of miscellaneous data, delivered in an artful & poetic rhythm.
i don't.
i'll happily go several days without talking, if my kids are away, and be startled by the sound of my own voice when i eventually speak again.
 

AlteredEgo

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Face it, midlifebear. You're a snob. Just read your last sentence to yourself a few times, and if you still can't see it, you're a hopeless snob. There's nothing wrong with it, but you'll have to stick to your own kind (which snobs enjoy better anyway).
 

MarkLondon

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This has happened to me a few times in private chat, usually with a younger guy:

Them: Hi
Me: Hi, how are you?
Them: Bored.

How's that for a conversation killer?
 

EllieP

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Men just tell the facts?

Well, I'll check his pants again, but I could swear my husband's a man, and there is no possible way he could tell a story that is not comprised of 75% description. When you listen to him you immediately know he's either a songwriter or a storyteller.

I'll never get him to sing or play an instrument in the house because that's what he does all day (or night), but he will talk my head off. Conversation is not a lost art in my house. Now, getting him to talk about something that's interesting to both of us, well, that's another story, LOL! Still I love that he's still talking to me if the silent male is par for the course.
 

AlphaSpartan

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That's all guys know how to talk about with women because most guys want sex so bad but don't know how to get it. I agree, talking about sex is nice but it's nicer to talk to someone with a personality.

Sometimes it's the woman who can't keep an intelligent conversation going...
 

B_crackoff

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That's all guys know how to talk about with women because most guys want sex so bad but don't know how to get it. I agree, talking about sex is nice but it's nicer to talk to someone with a personality.

Sometimes it's the woman who can't keep an intelligent conversation going...

Be fair. Most small talk is inane prattle to almost everyman's ears.Social functions where there is little alcohol are a source of deep suspicion & concern. Get drunk enough, & you might dance to evade the chit chat, but you'll always be looking for another bloke at the bar to talk to about sport to evade even that scenario. Then we feel we'll have had a good time.

I don't know many blokes who talk about their kids- even a little(my brother didn't for 6 months), unless it's in a work situation, & you're trying to prove that you're a renaissance chappy, versed in the art of diplomacy, & keen to rise to the top (unless you're blue collar of course - Oh the envy - just laughs & odd jokes, & stupid conversations that bind you, & make you feel all is well).

Any guy who talks about his work or his hobby is quickly shunned. We're not at home - we don't want to hear it while we're out.

Any subject outside sex, jokes & sport is strictly limited to a 10 minute rule!

I know women are different - that's why we encourage them to see their girlfriends!

Thank God I actually have some deeply, passionately shared interests as my GF. You've got to hope that that makes relationships last in the long run!:smile:

Mr T has it right. Stop your jibberjabbering!
 

Drifterwood

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It's why we have same sex friends.

You think Capello should play Crouch? Has complacency lead to a higher error rate in the Welsh game? Is it worth paying the extra for a Vantage when an XKR gives similar performance.

You want me to shut up now don't you?
 

D_Andreas Sukov

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Its threads like this that make me think im a women.



Ive had several women that have text me or on msn to say "im bored. entertain me." Now that is a fucking challenge. Whats up with that? Its rude. Needless to say, i dont get far with these women.

The issue i have is maybe the opposite. I go silent as i fail with things to say. More so with girls i dont know. I go silent as im failing for things to say. I dont want to be dull and talk about class all the time, but i dont wanna be cliche/general with what music do you like? randomly....if only i were smooth....