oh ok i misunderstood the OP then, my bad. i thought "asking for it" was a reference to the uninvited sexually suggestive PMs
The "asking for it" debate
- Thread starter ManlyBanisters
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oh ok i misunderstood the OP then, my bad. i thought "asking for it" was a reference to the uninvited sexually suggestive PMs
invisibleman
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Women should post their pics up just like men do here. I don't see anything wrong with that and I am a modest clothing on homosexual. :smile: I think that some women have been disrespected here on LPSG. I think that men do think differently in their approach to women. But not to say that they aren't capable of learning how to treat women right...I think that women should express themselves freely and without the disrespect from guys...unless properly provoked in a causal/effect manner.
Now for the straight guys who are afraid of gay men...I will say that I understand how you feel. You aren't liking gay men commenting on your cock and them expressing themselves sexually. Or looking at you in lockerroom showers.
Have you guys EVER thought that maybe if you didn't have homophobia in your life--how better the male species would be better suited? If you didn't worry about how some fucking man is going to think about you if your manhood were questioned? Can you imagine how free a man would be if being thought or called a 'faggot', or being perceived as one wouldn't EVER phase him the slightest at all? Maybe it is not the gay men but the stigma. Then there are the gay men who cater to that "straight men are better as sex partners" ideal. Those are the faggots you gotta deal with. I have some hottie straight male friends that I would love to fuck...but I know that they are sincerely straight and it isn't up to me to convince them otherwise. Even though, these guys are really handsome--I know in my heart that these guys truly love their women. I do respect that. But this is mainly for those gay men that aren't thinking in that frame of mind of proper respect. You should really stop thinking that because you like a straight man that that man likes you in return.
Finally, in general--I would like to say that it seems that people are really intense and upset these days. I want to say that you are definately not alone in how you feel. I think that it is our responsibility to make the best of our bad situations and learn to counterbalance. Counterbalance meaning to find the opposites of what we are getting in life. If you feel that you are getting loads of disrespect and hate, try giving some respect and love to as many people as you can in life. If you are feeling that you aren't getting the love you want from someone...find comparable substitute for it in some way. Brainstorm.
And sometimes, what helps me is to stop watching news media and reading newspapers. Even listening to the radio news. If you want to find a reason to hate...you will find it on the various media. So maybe it is in your best interests, avoid the media...and create some positivity and look for positive things in your own life.
Now for the straight guys who are afraid of gay men...I will say that I understand how you feel. You aren't liking gay men commenting on your cock and them expressing themselves sexually. Or looking at you in lockerroom showers.
Have you guys EVER thought that maybe if you didn't have homophobia in your life--how better the male species would be better suited? If you didn't worry about how some fucking man is going to think about you if your manhood were questioned? Can you imagine how free a man would be if being thought or called a 'faggot', or being perceived as one wouldn't EVER phase him the slightest at all? Maybe it is not the gay men but the stigma. Then there are the gay men who cater to that "straight men are better as sex partners" ideal. Those are the faggots you gotta deal with. I have some hottie straight male friends that I would love to fuck...but I know that they are sincerely straight and it isn't up to me to convince them otherwise. Even though, these guys are really handsome--I know in my heart that these guys truly love their women. I do respect that. But this is mainly for those gay men that aren't thinking in that frame of mind of proper respect. You should really stop thinking that because you like a straight man that that man likes you in return.
Finally, in general--I would like to say that it seems that people are really intense and upset these days. I want to say that you are definately not alone in how you feel. I think that it is our responsibility to make the best of our bad situations and learn to counterbalance. Counterbalance meaning to find the opposites of what we are getting in life. If you feel that you are getting loads of disrespect and hate, try giving some respect and love to as many people as you can in life. If you are feeling that you aren't getting the love you want from someone...find comparable substitute for it in some way. Brainstorm.
And sometimes, what helps me is to stop watching news media and reading newspapers. Even listening to the radio news. If you want to find a reason to hate...you will find it on the various media. So maybe it is in your best interests, avoid the media...and create some positivity and look for positive things in your own life.
B_Nick4444
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If you want a really interesting take on the mass media, especially television, read "In the Absence of the Sacred, The Failure of Technology & the Survival of the Indian Nations", by Jerry Mandler
B_Nick4444
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these days, mostly economics & finance :frown1:
... gotta find time for the real world stuff
In my opinion it unfortunate that certain men come here and verbal abuse the women on this site, but it's inevitable. There are a lot of twisted people in society and the internet has given them new outlet/source to feed their needs. It's inexcusable to abuse other people, be it physically or emotionally. But given the anonymous nature of this media and the subject matter of the site, I don't really see a workable solution other than individual responsibility and a very thick hide.
The first few months I was a member I got a lot of PM's asking me to jack or take part in cyber fantasy sex. Mostly,
I turned them down and in a few instances received unbelievably nasty responses. I was even stalked around the site by a couple of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer. For about two months I set my online status to 'invisible' until those idiots were no longer around.
So I can understand a bit of what some women here go through. I am sure it's much worse for the women than the guys.
When I get unwanted PM's I delete them and don't respond. Eventually they fuck off and quit. But it must be really annoying to go through it on a daily basis.
Could there be some kind of spam filter like Outlook or Gmail has? For example if the PM has the word 'cunt' in it, you could set it up to be automatically deleted. Or PM's from certain people get automatically returned to sender.
It's a bitch because the personally insulting attacks and abuse, both in the threads and in PM's, are what has driven a lot of interesting people away from LPSG.
The first few months I was a member I got a lot of PM's asking me to jack or take part in cyber fantasy sex. Mostly,
I turned them down and in a few instances received unbelievably nasty responses. I was even stalked around the site by a couple of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer. For about two months I set my online status to 'invisible' until those idiots were no longer around.So I can understand a bit of what some women here go through. I am sure it's much worse for the women than the guys.
When I get unwanted PM's I delete them and don't respond. Eventually they fuck off and quit. But it must be really annoying to go through it on a daily basis.
Could there be some kind of spam filter like Outlook or Gmail has? For example if the PM has the word 'cunt' in it, you could set it up to be automatically deleted. Or PM's from certain people get automatically returned to sender.
It's a bitch because the personally insulting attacks and abuse, both in the threads and in PM's, are what has driven a lot of interesting people away from LPSG.
Not_Punny
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ROFLMAO -- best pun I've seen in a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1:
- - - - - -
I have some comments:
-- I post nude pictures here, and have for almost a year.
-- 99% of the comments/PMs I receive are respectful, funny, complimentary, or raunchy in a non-distasteful way.
-- I've only encountered ONE asshole, and that was dealt with by putting him on ignore. I had to do it through a couple of iterations as he came back as different persona's, but he went away eventually.
-- And I know of only ONE super-creep: the jerk who made the nasty web page about Cinnamon.
In other words, there is a tiny, MINUSCULE percent of REAL abuse going on here.
Personally, I think that the ACTUAL issue is thin skin.
It's like being an author. If you can't take criticism, don't publish.
Sorry. I can't sympathize with this.
Yes, there are SOME people here with double standards. But who cares? Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
D_Fiona_Farvel
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Either do I. In fact, have yet to receive an abusive PM. They are more along the lines of "tell me about you" or something like that.
Anywho, I chimed in on Cinnamon's thread regarding this same topic.
Online or not, everyone, but particularly women, must remain aware of predatory behavior. People who engage in this type of behavior are simply stepping over the line and there is not excuse for it. There's certainly no reason to trot out the old "she's asking for it" justification - blaming the victim is totally unnecessary, all responsibility falls on the actor.
I think what some guys do in real life or online is confuse seeing some skin with intimacy. It is this sense of familiarity, or "knowing" the type of woman you are or what you "need" that makes them behave in a way that's inappropriate. But that does not mean women should lower hemlines or not feel free to show their bodies. What is does mean is these assholes need to mature. Further, that it is women who refuse to be categorized, or forced in a role of modest woman that will drag them to the realization that they, their gaze, or their thoughts do not own a woman's body or nor what she chooses to do with it.
The top I have on in my gallery pic, I have worn out on the street, in fact wearing it today, and I did get the occasional look or stare. That's fine. What is not appropriate is touching me or otherwise invading my personal space.
In real life, if someone acts inappropriately I can retaliate by whatever means available or appropriate for the situation - usually just saying something is enough. Online, the ability to retaliate is not there, but that does not mean a woman on LPSG or any site should alter the way she presents herself.
Just be aware when someone steps over the line, tell them they have, and don't give so much power to other's thoughts. People who do not respect you as a person will not do so on the street or on the internet. Keep close those who do respect you, are decent and supportive. The rest? Fuck them.
D_Fiona_Farvel
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I agree, thin skin is very much an issue.
You have to be secure enough in yourself that the outside bullshit doesn't change your course, whatever that may be.
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I think people need to learn how to behave, period. There has been all sorts of needless rudeness, brought about by some people who feel that the rules don't apply to them. Well, guess what...the rules apply to everyone.
The third word in this board's name is SUPPORT. While the board is sexual in nature, this is a community ostensibly built on support. It started as a joke years back, but over time, it evolved into what it is today.
People should be able to post and not get attacked. People should be able to post pictures and not get harassed. We don't all have to agree, but we have to respect each other's opinions.
Now on the matter of pictures, some people on here want to meet others for sex and/or relationships. Well that's all fine and good, but when a relationship is built on something purely sexual, how stable can it be? So if a person posts a picture of their dick, their boobs or vajayjay, the interest is going to be on the physical, not much else. Some people are fine with that, but others want something more. For those people, I suggest posting pictures of their face or something "g" rated and when friendships blossom, then share the "x" rated pics.
People post on this board for a variety of reasons. Because a person is straight, they deserve to not be harrassed by someone of a different sexual orientation. Women should be able to post and not get harrassed by the straight men here. If it shouldn't be done in real life, it shouldn't be done here. I don't understand why people think that different rules apply.
In closing, just think about how you would want to be treated and act accordingly.
The third word in this board's name is SUPPORT. While the board is sexual in nature, this is a community ostensibly built on support. It started as a joke years back, but over time, it evolved into what it is today.
People should be able to post and not get attacked. People should be able to post pictures and not get harassed. We don't all have to agree, but we have to respect each other's opinions.
Now on the matter of pictures, some people on here want to meet others for sex and/or relationships. Well that's all fine and good, but when a relationship is built on something purely sexual, how stable can it be? So if a person posts a picture of their dick, their boobs or vajayjay, the interest is going to be on the physical, not much else. Some people are fine with that, but others want something more. For those people, I suggest posting pictures of their face or something "g" rated and when friendships blossom, then share the "x" rated pics.
People post on this board for a variety of reasons. Because a person is straight, they deserve to not be harrassed by someone of a different sexual orientation. Women should be able to post and not get harrassed by the straight men here. If it shouldn't be done in real life, it shouldn't be done here. I don't understand why people think that different rules apply.
In closing, just think about how you would want to be treated and act accordingly.
Drifterwood
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I haven't read the thread and I have two women that I adore making love five feet from me - I'm just taking a breather - my pov is that you need to wait until you have a good hunch that the lady is interested - of course you may well be wrong if you are an asshole. Anyway, I have just been told that I need to go back to bed to learn something. :tongue: Who am I to argue :smile:
Invisibleman and Vince - you both have very interesting points. Mainly thanks for noticing that this thread is not just about women - the PMs women get on this site is an obvious example but certainly not the only one.
Gillette - I guess my OP was a bit rambling and I kind of muffled my own point. I agree with you to a great extent, about visual clues and about the specific nature of LPSG. What I'm really trying to get at that your post, relevant as it is, doesn't take in to account is that there appears to be a hierarchy of different levels of response different people should expect from exhibiting the same behaviour (at least according to some). So person A and person B post near identical nude poses - the only difference being the gender or orientation (for example) of person A and person B. Some people appear to believe that different reactions should be expected and, for example, it is the woman's responsibility to guard against reaction by not posting at all.
You are missing the point somewhat - probably because you think of people as people :smile:
I completely agree Prep, as long as that applies equally regardless of the sex, orientation, race, religion, etc. of the posters. Some people do not seem to apply it that way.
That's so very helpful - thanks for posting, Biggus Dickus:tongue:
Gillette - I guess my OP was a bit rambling and I kind of muffled my own point. I agree with you to a great extent, about visual clues and about the specific nature of LPSG. What I'm really trying to get at that your post, relevant as it is, doesn't take in to account is that there appears to be a hierarchy of different levels of response different people should expect from exhibiting the same behaviour (at least according to some). So person A and person B post near identical nude poses - the only difference being the gender or orientation (for example) of person A and person B. Some people appear to believe that different reactions should be expected and, for example, it is the woman's responsibility to guard against reaction by not posting at all.
You are missing the point somewhat - probably because you think of people as people :smile:
I completely agree Prep, as long as that applies equally regardless of the sex, orientation, race, religion, etc. of the posters. Some people do not seem to apply it that way.
That's so very helpful - thanks for posting, Biggus Dickus
:tongue:I honestly don't think much of anyone is really asking for it, but it's something that comes with the territory. Every community has their riff raff, and in this one it's creepy perverts. If you come here, you have to be ready to just ignore it. It sucks that it's true, but until we come up with a creepy pervert filter, it's going to continue to be.
Does this mean that I condone this sort of behavior from the people who do it? No, not at all. Hell, I pretty much disregard them as nigh nonexistent specks with nothing better to do.
Does this mean that I condone this sort of behavior from the people who do it? No, not at all. Hell, I pretty much disregard them as nigh nonexistent specks with nothing better to do.
Drifterwood
Superior Member
That's so very helpful - thanks for posting, Biggus Dickus
OK so now they are talking about their toys - jeeze.
Hitachi Wand apparently.
How many toys do you have?
Three.
Jelly?
So it bends
Do they have sex toy parties here?
I think there was last week
Oh bollocks - they're off now -
Well, yeah, they should expect that behavior; that certainly does not mean they deserve that behavior.
As far as appreciating aggressive behavior toward you: most women don't like it. Most men like it if it's from someone they would want a quick shag with, and don't like it if it's from someone they have no sexual interest in.
