The battle of sex

[johnjacobs]

This is kind of a late night rant.

For argument sake I say I'm bisexual but fact of the matter is I can't decide for the life of me what I am. A lot of the time I see something and I think to myself, wow I really like that and I really do. But other times, it's just eh. I don't know if it's the heat of the moment of what, but I'm awfully confused. Maybe I'm just getting older and my sex drive is depleting?!?!?! That would be terrible.

Recently, I messaged some guys online and I got a response from one and we've been talking and exchanging pictures. He has a really great body and seems like a nice enough guy. With that said, earlier tonight I met two new girls through my friends. However, one of them is engaged, and unfortunately the one I liked the most, but they were both hot, friendly and seemed into me.

Considering I've never really had girls breaking down my front door to be with me I often find myself thinking, am I supposed to be with a guy....or am I supposed to be how I am, rarely meeting girls, and one day bam....I'll meet my future wife, get married and start a family. Is this guy I randomly met online, who I haven't even met in person yet, basically because I rarely trust people, eventually going to be someone I live with and have a relationship with? Or will I eventually get married to a beautiful woman and have children? And have I already met her? I just wish there were more certainties in life besides death.

 

[Sharpone]

I'm wondering if it is possible to view this not as a negative but as an opportunity. Life is rarely black and white, and you have the option of enjoying both genders. We all have that inner struggle to conform to what society wants for you instead of what you would want. SO...if you don't know what you want, give yourself some time...meet some friends and have fun. After a while it may seem clearer to you what will make you most happy. I'm not sure why we place the burden of such life long decisions on people in their 20's when most of us at that age are just figuring things out.

Remember...it is only a problem if you make it a problem in your mind.

 

[joshnosh]

this is a post from a long time ago, but i stumbled across it and found it interesting. i'm wondering if that same sort of feeling still exists over a year later..

for some reason, we people have this serious urge to classify things. things, taken broadly as "objects, feelings, thoughts, etc.", along with ourselves and each other, i should say. i've wondered about this a lot throughout my life, given i've sort of always seen myself as not attracted to any particular group, just hot people.

i object to the term 'bisexual', because it defines sex as existing between two, polar genders. gender, like sexuality, is a very broad spectrum. i've had sex with people of a lot of different genders, both male and female-bodied individuals. i don't have a huge problem with the way i feel, because i'm pretty comfortable with myself, but i really have a problem labeling myself. to me, it doesn't matter - i could go without labels my entire life - but it makes interfacing with others, who don't have my views and my comfort level, very difficult at times.

i'm not one for the idea of marriage, but mostly because i don't see why i should have to believe that the only way i'll be happy is by entering into a committed, monogamous relationship that's supposed to last for the rest of my life (hopefully that's a long, long time!). i admit i'm open to the idea of feeling differently, if i happened to meet that one person who made the difference, but i dunno. i think i was just wired differently.

unfortunately, not many human cultures across the world are open to my kind of existence, which often made me feel irregular or aberrant. it wasn't until i understood that this whole system of sexuality often boils down to maintaining a status quo, that i realized that the system is artificial anyway. humans created these definitions to help organize and understand something greater than what was able to be understood beforehand. and since humans created it, it is fallible.

i guess my point is, it took me a long time to realize it, but fuck labels. i spent so much time trying to see which one i fit best (pun!), i wasn't thinking about what i actually felt. i was trying to fit these abstract descriptions rather than letting the descriptions try to fit me. so, fuck labels. if there isn't one that best describes me, it's not because i'm inherently wrong.. or that i'm confused (no matter how confusing it can sometimes feel). i like what i like, i'm attracted to what and whomever i'm attracted to, and if i feel like i'm attracted to something enough to act on it, i try to make it happen.

thanks for starting this thread.. i hope all this babble makes some kind of sense, and i hope you've been able to feel a bit more comfortable with yourself over the last year. cheers!