The Bear Hunter

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Pecker, Mar 9, 2005.

  1. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    Bob was excited about his new rifle and decided to go bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. As he bent over to start cleaning it, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see a big black bear.

    The black bear said, "That was my cousin and you've got two choices... Either I maul you to death or we have sex." After considering briefly, Bob decided to accede to the latter alternative. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Bob soon recovered and vowed revenge.

    He headed out on another trip where he found the same black bear so he shot it. Right after he shot it, there was tap on his shoulder. This time, a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake Bob, that was my cousin and you've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex." Again, Bob thought it was better to cooperate. Although he survived, it took several months before Bob finally recovered!

    Even more outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot him to death! He felt his sweet revenge, but then, there was another tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find an enormous, polar bear standing there, shaking his head. The polar bear looked at him sadly and said, "Admit it Bob... you don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"
     
  2. Altairion

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,607
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    so....what comes after the polar bear?
     
  3. ericbear

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2002
    Messages:
    1,117
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    238
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Santa Ana (CA, US)
    The black, grizzly, and polar bears must have been pretty brutal! As you can see from the following cartoon, even the little brown bear can leave you a bit sore:

    Click Here
     
  4. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2003
    Messages:
    28,012
    Likes Received:
    725
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    the pain behind your eyes
    I heard this joke some odd years ago from a buddy of mine. Only thing was, the hunter was hunting the same bear, with a variety of weapons, missed all three times, then the bear was like, "Buddy you're not here for hunting, are you?"
     
  5. steve319

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2005
    Messages:
    1,205
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Ha! I didn't see that line coming at all.

    Thanks for sharing, Pecker. Made my night.

    steve
     
Draft saved Draft deleted