The big cock ego, healthy or unhealthy?

YoungCock1234

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Lately I've been feeling a dichotomy between how I feel about myself in sexual settings and non-sexual. I think it's pretty common for people to act one way in bed and one way in the rest of their lives, but is it healthy?
For me in particular, this site and "big dick worship" culture in general was integral to my sexual development. I was still a virgin (more like an incel but with less of the angry weirdness) at 18 when I joined this site. I didn't have my first time until age 22 and I wasn't steadily getting action until I was 26. So a large portion of my sexual development and gratification came from here; from posting pics, showing off, being flirty in chat. Getting a private chat with a new girl was more exciting to me than meeting a new girl in the real world, because I knew I could cut to the chase and talk about my favorite subjects, particularly my size, which made me feel special and confident.
Offline, I've had self-esteem problems as long as I can remember. I know on a superficial level that I'm handsome, interesting, and desirable, but years of rejection and social anxiety, particularly in high school and college, has sunken in a deeply persistent voice of negativity telling me I'm none of these things, that I'm boring, robotic, and can't relate to people.
This site, and similar activities (flirting on Skype and such) provide me an escape from those feelings. But is it just like a drug, a high that I'll keep chasing? Or is there a way to let my online persona help my offline confidence?

Wondering if anyone has had similar experiences.
 
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OKCLane

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LPSG is an awesome site and is a good outlet.
I would suggest counseling with a sexual therapist. I went at the suggestion of my primary care physician but wasn’t really thrilled at the prospect and admit that I started with a less than participatory attitude.
I went for almost three years to both private and group sessions. It really helped me work through a past that includes being raped as well as the negative issues of being a gay man.
Self evaluation and thoughtful introspection are important parts of being a healthy human being. Don’t wait until you reach 40 to seek outside help.
Good luck!
 
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deleted1027653

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you're dissociated. This is reality.
 
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i can’t speak to everything the OP said, but I agree that there is an online sexual culture that is deeply attractive for people who feel that “real life” is in some way insufficient. And this tension does create a kind of duality, i think.

i’ve been aware of having a big dick for a loooooong time, but of course it’s not something that can be discussed in workaday settings; i would get comments in sexual situations, but in recent relationships those comments almost feel like complaints (“that hurts,” “you’re too big for that,” etc); that creates a vacuum and makes the pull here even greater: it’s a great rush to suddenly be praised where no praise had been given for some time.

so, yes, i’m afraid this is a kind of drug, maybe a necessary one, a “good drug,” but a drug all the same; when you figure out how to deal with that, let me know! ;)