The Big Reveal

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by steve319, Jul 3, 2005.

  1. steve319

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    I’m sure you all have noticed it, and I’d be willing to bet that most of you have ended up actually doing it at some point during your membership here. It’s the big revelation: telling the crowd at LPSG some personal detail that you’ve never been comfortable telling your buddies. Whether it’s the anonymity or the often close-to-the-bone subject matter up for discussion or simply the supportive environment here, there’s something about the forum here that brings out the dark secrets. I’ve spoken about a number of highly personal issues here without fear of judgment or repercussion, most notably my sexual experimentation with a college buddy.

    To be perfectly honest, one reason why I joined up here was a desire to toy with my own pretty substantial trust issues, so I’m often quite surprised that I tell the stories that I do sometimes. (I suppose that’s another topic in itself: does anyone else out there exploit and experiment with his/her own character flaws? :wacko:) In general, I’m a very private person, but I think that being (relatively) more open here is helping me move past that to some degree, leading to a more easy openness in my face-to-face existence.

    Some of you, I know, pride yourself on your honesty and forthrightness in every aspect of your life (you know who you are :hug:) and I respect that tremendously and aspire to it (to the degree to which I am able to integrate it with my career and personality). So, this topic might not resonate with you guys (but feel free to chime in without making everyone else feel bad ;) ). But for the rest of you…

    My question is this: have you revealed something here that has surprised you afterward? Something that, perhaps, only a couple of other people in the world know about? (And, if you’re brave and willing to repeat it, what was it?)
     
  2. Lex

    Lex
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    This was the first place where I came out to anyone other than my wife. I have only one other close friend who knows I am bi. It was liberating to do so and I hope that my story and post are helpful to others in similar situations.
     
  3. iggy

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    as for me, i have told some people here something about me id never or hard for me to tell anybdy i know personally..

    and for that, i thank you people a lot...

    thanks guys... u know who u are... hehe
     
  4. txquis

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    I understand that the internet is an outlet for all sorts of things
    we might not ever share in real life...
    But, in all seriousness,
    I have learned to share LESS of myself on the net.
    For me anyway, it is easier now to share with people in person,
    instead of people who might misunderstand/misconstrue/misinterpret/
    however you want to say it...
    or even people who might just vanish.
     
  5. dolf250

    dolf250 New Member

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    I found that I have mentioned things here that I may not mention to complete strangers in other circumstances. However, when it comes right down to it I have not posted anything that I would be uncomfortable if a complete stranger knew.

    I had made a post a week or two back which contained some fairly personal info and it remained up for some where around three minutes while I considered weather I was comfortable leaving it there for the world to see and pass judgment on. In the end I decided that I was not and I edited it out of my post.

    I guess to answer your question I am probably a little more open, but I still am not willing to tell my whole story to complete strangers.
     
  6. Pye

    Pye
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    I could have just posted DITTO under that one.
    I do feel a little more comfortable telling complete internet strangers things about myself...moreso than I've told my closest of friends...but there are still some things that you'd really need to know me to understand better. So there are some things that I'd say here and not anywhere else and there are some things I'd still feel uncomfortable saying here-- at least for a completely open post-- maybe more PM or something with select few.
     
  7. mindseye

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    Wow -- it's great to read these stories. My experience here's been different because I've always been an open person.

    I was the older son of disabled parents and had to take on 'grownup' responsibilities earlier in life than most of my peers -- I also had to trust other grownups from an earlier age: the healthcare worker who visited the home twice a month, the neighbor who picked me up from school when I got sick, etc. I've been generally fortunate in trusting others; the few exceptions tending to be minor. There are things that I don't readily volunteer on here (or offline, for that matter), but don't shy away from when asked.
     
  8. madame_zora

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    I have not always been an open person about myself although I have always had a big mouth! In AA I learned the benefits of living a realistic life and trying in all aspects to see things as they are. Here, I've learned to apply that to myself in terms of sexuality, it just is what it is. We all bring to the table our unique blend of experiences and needs, it makes us all the individaul beings we are, we are not so different from each other as we thought when we got here.

    There are still things I prefer to share one on one (thanks Steve 319) because the controversial nature of said may not benefit the group as a whole, or myself in the process. Despite this being the support group many of us recogise it to be, there are still some who are here to pass judgement to make themselves feel superior. Still, lpsg does a far better job of being what it portends than most places and I will always have a deep affection for it as such.
     
  9. naughty

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    Hi,

    I think we all come from our own unique set of experiences sometimes thinking we are alone or the last dinosaur on the planet. I too have revealed things about myself that have illicited varied reactions. Some suprisingly positive others just surprising but never boring. I think if we remember that this is a support group we can make baby steps in trust.
    Now mind skepticism can sometimes be a good thing but it can also hold us back from some wonderful interactions.

    naughty
     
  10. godiluvabig1

    godiluvabig1 New Member

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    I've shared a few things on here myself... It was when I first joined lpsg that i was beginning to admit to being bi... I also spoke about some very personal experiences, including the fact that i lost my virginity at 13 to a rapist...

    I find lpsg to be the most open (not to mention supportive) place on the net... i like it here and continue to return because you can talk about subjects that are normally taboo on other sites...
     
  11. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Hmmmm, sort of. Trust is a big issue with me too, almost to the point of total and complete exclusion of other people out of certain areas of my life. That goes back to the argument of whether or not people from an online group can transcend that boundary from Internet acquaintance to friend.

    As for my own pray-telling of certain important details of my life, I think I maintain a good layer of secrecy about some of my inner workings. Will I ever share details? Kim, Monty, Steve, and Steve might be the first people to know. Then again, I've not reached that breaking point either...
     
  12. Altairion

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    I haven't had to put up any big revelations about myself here...mainly because I haven't had anything sexual to reveal....both good and bad things to consider by that statement :)

    Anyway, for those that have stepped up and spoke their minds and talked about their past...I must commend all of you guys in finding the strength to put yourself out on this board for everyone to see.
     
  13. oldman9x7

    oldman9x7 New Member

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    When I first joined this board about three years ago, I made the mistake (it seemed) of answering a question that had been asked by relating a very personal eopisode that took place in my life. Immediately there was a hue and cry from some of the long noses squealing that I had raised a taboo topic and that I was a troll and blah blah blah! As soon as the noise quieted down, two champions came to my aid, Finedesert (Grandpa) and Mister Mark.

    I don't think I ever heard any more about that post after that and in fact have had a very happy and enjoyable time here.. I guess my point is this: if and when people on the board reveal personal and private things, don't be in such a hurry to critisize or condemn. It often requires a lot of courage to make some of these revelations so try to live up to the name of this board. Be SUPPORTIVE!

    Gramps
     
  14. Alley Blue

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    I agree with that so much. There's no other place on the net, regarding a sexual body part, that manages to carry off this kind of honest, valuable interaction amongst its members. Normally a forum that is set up to support those with really big dicks will become a smut/spam site overnight.
    But to find a forum like this where the conversations and topics are profoundly thought provoking and fascinating is almost breath taking......
     
  15. britlover

    britlover New Member

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    I'm sure most of what I have ever posted here would also be uttered in the presence of my closest friends.

    I don't post that often, and have only been here a short while...so my presence is probably not as prominent as the older forum members (who are ALL entertaining and thought-provoking, in my books!). I still enjoy coming here, and appreciate the frankness of most peeps.
     
  16. prepstudinsc

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    Most of what I've said here I could reveal to my friends, but I maintain some secrecy. Even in my real life, only a few very close friends know everything. We've always got to have a few secrets, right? One of my friends and I joke that we always have to remain friends because we could destroy each other's lives if we ever decided to be vengeful--we just know too much about each other.
    Dee and Kim probably know most about me on here and I would tell them most things.
     
  17. hippyscum

    hippyscum New Member

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    i tend to disperse my secrets amongst my friends, so no-one knows EVERYTHING about me, but a few know a lot... and of course there's some stuff i don't tell anyone. it's mostly a trust issue on my part cos i've had my secrets used against me before. on the internet, it's different (and especially here on such a friendly forum) i do open up more online, but that's just cos it's difficult for an internet relationship to turn against you (or at least more difficult than flesh and blood relationships).
     
  18. DC_DEEP

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    I'm not terribly shy about many things, nor am I broadcasting every aspect of my life. There are people with whom I just do not share some information (I DON'T discuss my sex life with my siblings, for example.) In recent years more than ever, I have tried my very best to live by the philosophy "never do something you will be ashamed to admit." In casual conversation with people I don't know well, I try to "read" their body language, and "censor" my discussions accordingly. There are appropriate topics and situations where shock value can be of use, but only the truly defective make that their rule.

    So, I guess in answer to the original post, there is not much room for me to make a "big reveal" either online or in my everyday life.
     
  19. jimmyjoejeater

    jimmyjoejeater New Member

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    Just about everything I post in here are things that my coworkers and casual friends do not know or even suspect. When I'm at work my personal life and things I have done in my past are just that.
    In the type of work I do we are ever aware of what is "appropraite" or "inappropraite" behavior and have a responsibility to insure that our activities as healthcare professionals remain within the socially dictated ideal of what IS appropraite. I think the whole thing sucks as this makes me feel that I have to live a double life and a certain freedom is lost to that.

    At home I am probably one of the most politically incorrect and socially inappropraite people you'd ever care to meet and in this forum I am free to be just that.

    Hell yeah!

    jimmy
     
  20. PinkSteel

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    I'm new here. Not even a week and I've told more stories of myself than anyone knows. It feels great and I have learned a lot here as well. It's a great place.
    How do you talk about being large to friends and family, if you're not sure where they're at. Would you sound like a braggart or what.
    And embarasing moments of getting caught in a sex act, it's great to let er rip here and nice to hear that stuff similar happens to others.
    I know there are some wannabees here who lie their way into some kind of satisfaction (head scratching) so I keep my b.s. filter on, but would like to think most of it is sincere.
     
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