The biggest circle jerk in history

Discussion in 'Politics' started by Jason, Feb 5, 2010.

  1. Jason

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    Once upon a time 26 dudes came together and planned the biggest circle jerk in history. It was to be a great bonding experience, something that would forever make them loyal to the group so they would act as one.

    They did a lot of talking before hand. It wasn't going to be a race to see who could shoot the gloop the quickest. Nor was it to be a contest to see who could last the longest. Rather it was to be a bonding experience to help them all to stroke steadily and come together as one.

    Now they recognised that this would be a bit tricky, but with lots of talking (and they were all good at talking) they thought it could be managed. The key was to get convergence of horniness before the group wanking stage was actually started. So they did their calculations and factored in age and fitness and edging ability and control and time of last cum release.

    By the time they had done all the talking and all the calculating just 11 guys dropped their trousers and strated wanking. And it was off to a good start, 11 upright members demonstrating a steady wank action leading to co-ordinated enhancement of the group pleasure receptors. It went so well that another 5 soon joined in, and 8 more said they would soon, and only 2 seemed set on staying on the side lines. And those two both watched.

    But then it started to go wrong. Achilles was young and fit and soon seemed fit to burst. Before joining he had assured them all that his cum levels were appropriate and that he could stay the course with the best of them, but soon it turned out that he had been copying the plot of 30 days and 30 nights and had sky high cum levels that he had concealed from them all. Pedro wasn't quite at the same cum level as Achilles but he wasn't far off. Mighty Carlos was mighty over-aroused also, and even Romulus far more excited than he owned up to be.

    So Fritz and Francis told these four they needed to take a cold shower, and they all said they knew they should really, but it looked soo cold. Or think about dead dogs or something. But what would really solve it for the four would be for Fritz and Francis to boil over, but Fritz and Francis had years of edging experience and were up for the slow and steady wank, and why should they change? So Achilles and Pedro and Carlos and Romulus grit their teeth and imagined a cold shower without actually taking one and thought about a dog that was just a little bit unwell, and all stared at the same television screen (that Fritz and Francis couldn't see) that was showing just static and tried to forget the churning in their balls and the growing pressure and the need for release. And they promised everyone they could hold off, no problem.

    Then Markets walked in, picked up the remote control and turned the televison the four were watching to the hottest porn film ever.

    What happens now?
     
  2. Joll

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    LOL! Very clever...that musta taken quite some thought. :p
    Quite hot in a fiscally irresponsible kinda way. :wink:

    (I think we can guess what happens next, but we're supposed to pretend we can't...).
     
  3. B_mitchymo

    B_mitchymo New Member

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    Very good Jason!

    (what was George doing?)
     
  4. Jason

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    George was one of the two who had stayed out. He leaked a bit but it didn't break the rules of the circle jerk so no-one bothered much.
     
  5. maxcok

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    I like your writing style. I was just wondering when the politicians were going to show up?
     
  6. Jason

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    I like your avatar. Politicians only show up to take credit when something is working. Europe is facing a crisis and the President has not been seen or heard.
     
  7. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Political overtones? Is this an alternate version of the last G10 summit?
     
  8. rbkwp

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    What happens now?

    I thought the biggest CJ happened in Copenhagen recently
    what' they all went home
    never to be seen nor heard of again..?
    enz
     
  9. maxcok

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    Thanks. I liked my prior avatar better, the Rifleman with his boy holding his log. Sadly, they have been banished by the mods for violating the ToS regarding the posting of images of minors, although the minor in question was on the cover of a 1964 comic, and for all I know he could have been a youthful midget. The decision of the mods is justified I suppose, at any rate beyond questioning, and I shall miss them (the Rifleman and his boy, not the Mods). My new avatar I like as well, much less amusing, but somewhat more imposing. Nothing wrong with that, I guess.

    My comment regarding the politicians referred to the fact that you posted your story in the political forum, and I was wondering what the reasoning might be. Perhaps it is because most politicians are jerks? Still wondering.



     
  10. Joll

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    I think it's the European single currency project (not far off tho, lol). :smile:
     
  11. Jason

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    The 26 dudes are the 26 countries of the EU. The 11 are the 11 that first joined the Euro. The 5 are the 5 that subsequently joined. Plus 8 that have pledged to join. That leaves 2 who are staying out but watching closely - the UK and Sweden. Achilles=Greece, Pedro=Portugal, Carlos=Spain, Romulus=Italy, Fritz=Germany, Francis=France, George=UK.

    The underlying point is that a currency union without a political union is inherently unstable. There are no cases whatsoever of such currency unions working long term. In the EU it was thought that the Euro would promote a political union, but the constitution didn't happen, Lisbon Treaty was years later than expected, and there are no plans for a Lisbon + 1 treaty or constitution. We have a single currency without a political union as a single state. My view is that failure is inevitable (in a circle jerk someone will cum first). Right now the pressure is on Greece though Portugal, Spain even Italy or Ireland could surprise us all by being first. If by some miracle it isn't one of these sooner or later it will be someone.
     
  12. bwcurved

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    LOL, very well written Jason! Coming from someone who's followed the EU and the euro since college, this summed it up very well! You're right, it'll be interesting to see what if anything happens next.
     
  13. maxcok

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    Thanks for explaining that Jason. I am obviously an American dumbass. As you may know, we are typically self-absorbed and ignorant of most things taking place beyond our shores, especially if we think it has no direct bearing on us. I feel so edumacated now.
     
  14. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    Oh, good lord. I'm bored.
     
  15. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Dang. I thought it was about a real circle jerk world record.
     
  16. Joll

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    My feeling is that, regrettably, some form of political union will follow. :frown1:
     
  17. Jason

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    There are plenty who would like this. But I cannot reconcile the time scales. Greece needs help on Monday morning. The meeting on Thursday is four days too late, and anyway no-one really expects it to do anthing much. I don't know just how much strain the markets of Greece (and others) can actually take, but I imagine the economic brains do have a pretty good idea and will act in the nick of time. Probably Greece can stagger on for a bit, but Greece cannot last all that much longer.

    Not even the most zealous Eurocrats can get through political union in this sort of timescale. It would need another treaty or constitution and that would take several years, if it is achievable. Additionally the EU is getting no leadership from its unelected President - have the Martians abducted him? Indeed is anyone steering the ship? :eek:
     
  18. maxcok

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    so . . . it sounds like Achilles might get an icepack?
     
    #18 maxcok, Feb 10, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2010
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