*The following is an actual question given on a University of Liverpool
chemistry final exam*.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure
of enjoying it as well.
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman
year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen
over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct...leaving only
Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains
why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
chemistry final exam*.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure
of enjoying it as well.
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman
year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen
over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct...leaving only
Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains
why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
