The Chemistry Final

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by jakeatolla, Jan 28, 2010.

  1. jakeatolla

    Gold Member

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    *The following is an actual question given on a University of Liverpool
    chemistry final exam*.
    The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
    with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure
    of enjoying it as well.

    Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
    heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
    that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some
    variant.
    One student, however, wrote the following:
    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
    need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
    which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
    gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
    many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
    exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a
    member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

    Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
    belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
    Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
    souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
    the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
    temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand
    proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:
    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
    Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
    Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
    Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman
    year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
    into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
    true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen
    over.
    The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
    follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct...leaving only
    Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains
    why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God."
    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
     
  2. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    That's truly funny.:biggrin1:
     
  3. B_cloverboy

    B_cloverboy New Member

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    Thanks for that, I had a good laugh!!
     
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