A very old friend (and lover) was telling me the other day that one of the biggest problems in her relationship had been that he had only wanted sex when he needed it. As, I hope, an emotionally maturing man, I can very much understand this issue. I know when I need sex. I just need to get off. Probably four or five times a week for me as a minimum, but this varies enormously amongst men. I also appreciate the difference between my needs in this respect and wanting to have sex or rather express myself sexually with someone and experience the same with and from them. Making love, if you like. The line can be blurry because most of the time I probably need sex as well as wanting to have sex with someone and I can understand the frustration if sex is purely driven by the other person's need rather than want. If you practice tai chi or yoga or tantra you will know what I mean about channeling your energy, and I have been having a lot of fun learning more about and how to live with my sexual energy. I also prefer my needs to be satisfied with someone rather than on my own. Despite what some may think, I'm not much of a wanker. I presume, but don't know, that most men would be the same?? Anyway, I just thought it might be an interesting thread topic for exchange of views and experiences.