The 'Crazy Vibe', what sets yours off?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Principessa, Nov 4, 2007.

  1. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    I'm glad Jovial posted the thread Why do some women go all crazy? as it dovetails nicely with a phone conversation I had with a male friend last week. Though I was a little disturbed and puzzled by some of the responses his thread received; it's good to have different viewpoints.

    My friend mentioned that some women set off his "crazy vibe." The crazy vibe, is often discussed on the sitcom "How I met Your Mother." I have a few questions.

    Ladies we have all met and possibly dated a man who set off our crazy vibe. What does it for you? What are the things a man does or says that make you want to run fast and far?

    We often hear men talk about how his last girlfriend was a psychobitch from hell. What exactly does that mean?:confused: Did she freak out and slap you when she found another womans panties in the glove compartment of your car or worse; her car which you borrowed when yours was in the shop? That's not crazy. That is a logical reaction to an illogical situation. :cool:

    I hate to admit, for all my kvetching about not being able to find a decent man . . . I don't always look very hard. :redface: Why? It's actually not fear of rejection. It's the fear that I will meet a man, we'll date, it ends horribly, and I become the psychobitchfromhell ex-girlfriend. The punchline to every joke about a bad relationship.:frown1: I don't want that! No one does.

    What are the things that men see women do or say in a relationship that send you running for the nearest Hooter's Bar?
     
  2. SpoiledPrincess

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2006
    Messages:
    8,167
    Likes Received:
    29
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    england
    A man who's single after a certain age sets off alarm bells in me, it may be unfair but I always feel there must be something wrong with him that he reached that age without anyone wanting to marry him: a man over a certain age who takes his laundry home to his mother, he's either lazy or useless; as you mentioned a man who refers to his ex gf/wife as psycho, he must have felt something for her at one time so presumably she wasn't always psycho and did he do something to turn her into a nut or he's just plain nasty in calling her names; a man who's over careful with money, I'm not grabby and greedy for material possessions, but a man who's mean with money tends to be mean spirited. There are lots of other things but those were a few off the top of my head.
     
  3. 36DD

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,790
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    U.S.
    That's a great thread nj, I am curious as well to see what the guys have to say!
     
  4. whatireallywant

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2007
    Messages:
    3,587
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    Ooh my! This actually happened to me recently! I had answered an online ad, and talked to the guy a few times on the phone. However, the last time I talked to him on the phone he let slip that he was an alcoholic and was going to AA, but continued to drink wine! AND that he was a paranoid schizophrenic, although "he hadn't had an episode lately". Needless to say, I never met him. I sent him an email saying that I was no longer interested.

    I have also gotten "the creeps" from several men, but not ones I was going to be dating. One of my old friends (we just drifted apart, but she was indirectly a part of an incident in my life that belonged on Jerry Springer...), it seemed like EVERY guy she dated gave me the creeps. I didn't say anything to her as it was none of my business, but there it is.

    And another guy gave me the creeps at a party. He also happened to be gay and a "little person", and I was actually afraid that I was being prejudiced against little people at first (I knew that being gay had nothing to do with my getting the creeps, since I'd known plenty of gay men at that point and never got that vibe from any of them). Then later on I had heard that he was arrested for raping a 12 year old boy. OOH! So THAT'S why I got the creeps! :eek: I think I have pretty good intuition about these kinds of things. It's a good thing I do - keeps me more safe than if I didn't have that.
     
  5. whatireallywant

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2007
    Messages:
    3,587
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    As a woman who is still single after a "certain age", I don't necessarily assume that something is wrong with a man who is single after a certain age. Maybe he's just shy or something.

    But the rest of it I definitely go along with!
     
  6. SpoiledPrincess

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2006
    Messages:
    8,167
    Likes Received:
    29
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    england
    That reminds me of my best friends ex, from the minute she met him I couldn't stand him, he had this way of leaning back and listening - but as if he were taking notes, I thought he didn't like me but my friend assured me that he was like that with everyone, being my friend of course I didn't tell her that I couldn't stand him, she later divorced him when she discovered he'd been abusing her daughter from her previous relationship.

    Often when friends dump their bf's and it's definite that it's all over we feel free to say 'well I never liked him', and how many of them say 'oh why didn't you tell me'.
     
  7. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    WA
    I'm single at 30, precisely because I didn't want to get married to anyone I met.

    And my crazy bells go off when a woman gets dramatic, or says anything like:
    I don't like head games
    I don't like drama

    Because that to me means they play head games, and love drama.
     
  8. SpoiledPrincess

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2006
    Messages:
    8,167
    Likes Received:
    29
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    england
    I did say it was probably unfair of me to think that anyone single over a certain age had something wrong with them, people are staying single longer now in any case. It doesn't always set off alarm bells, it's usually when it's accompanied by living somewhere like the Bates Motel :)

    I like a bit of drama, doesn't everyone?
     
  9. Jovial

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2006
    Messages:
    2,404
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    CA
    That can be unfair. Maybe women did want to marry him, but he didn't want to marry them.

    I would say if the guy had numerous short-term girlfriends over the years, that could be a red flag that he doesn't want to commit. But a lot of guys are just shy and don't meet a lot of women or date. I'd hate to think that women dismiss me before getting to know me, just because I'm still single. It's the old "all the men are taken" and "there must be something wrong with him since he's single." So there are no eligible men, except maybe the ones that have just broken up.
     
  10. SpoiledPrincess

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2006
    Messages:
    8,167
    Likes Received:
    29
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    england
    Yeah it's exactly that 'all the good men are taken' syndrome'.
     
  11. Drifterwood

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2007
    Messages:
    15,725
    Likes Received:
    386
    Location:
    Fingringhoe (GB)
    The most classically beautiful woman I have ever been with was a "psycho" (not the word I would use though). My eyes and hormones got the better of me, but my head eventually caught up. Incidentally, some of my friends did try to warn me. I am sure that this happens to men and women. I am better at judging people's personalities now; experience gives you alarm bells :smile:.
     
  12. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
     
  13. SpoiledPrincess

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2006
    Messages:
    8,167
    Likes Received:
    29
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    england
    You're not my ex husband by any chance Drifterwood :)
     
  14. Ethyl

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,476
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    495
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Philadelphia (PA, US)
    When I used dating sites, i'd immediately pass any profile that had "no drama queens" listed. Or if someone messaged me and i'd read their profile only to find we have nothing in common was very telling.
     
  15. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    WA
    New End, that's retarded! To me that means she probably just left a relationship with a man who played head games and created more dramas than Merchant Ivory. Why would it not occur to you that she would say what she meant?

    Because any stable women I have known, never said anything like that. The crazies use the word drama and headgames.

    Also, it would seem to me, a girl who uses such vagueries, probably has not accepted her end of the deal for a relationship falling apart, and instead just cast all her faults on her ex as "drama" or "head games"

    Desperate. I cant believe it when I get friend requests from girls that have nothing in common with me. One I tried to be nice with, and tell her she was too young, and she started to argue with me... :rolleyes:
     
  16. NumberOne

    NumberOne Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2006
    Messages:
    133
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    223
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    nashville,TN
    what does it for me is just a super obsessive girl, too quickly... i met a girl at a concert and we met up again about ..gosh 4 or 5 months later and was just obsessed with me the day we hung out... acted like i was maybe the last guy on the planet...and trust me it can be flattering...for a second or two...but beyond that can frustrate me... but its possible becuase i tend to like to be isolated at certain weird times
     
  17. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female

    Desperate reminds me of when I went out on a date with a guy I met on YahooPersonals. We met at a Starbuck's. He positively oozed desperation, depression, neediness and despair. Like when you go to a wake and the grief is palapable. It's as if it rolls off the widow in a wave. That's how he was.:eek:
     
  18. Drifterwood

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2007
    Messages:
    15,725
    Likes Received:
    386
    Location:
    Fingringhoe (GB)
    Was he also a Toyboy? :eek: :wink:
     
  19. SpoiledPrincess

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2006
    Messages:
    8,167
    Likes Received:
    29
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    england
    So you're my ex bf then :)
     
  20. Drifterwood

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2007
    Messages:
    15,725
    Likes Received:
    386
    Location:
    Fingringhoe (GB)
    So why did we split? I seem to have blanked the bad times and only remember (fantasize :biggrin1:) about the good times.

    P.S. How did I get these spike marks in my back?
     
Draft saved Draft deleted