The Dating Game Timeline ??

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by a_uncensored, Oct 19, 2009.

  1. a_uncensored

    a_uncensored New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2009
    Messages:
    69
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Ohio
    So when do guys usually expect to start running the bases, when you start dating guy for a long-term intended relationship?

    So basically I've been talking to this guy for about a month and we have seen each other 4 times. The last time we had a great kiss, which was this past Thursday. He said he couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. All weekend he texted, IM'ed, and emailed me.

    We arranged to meet today, Monday evening as well as Tuesday evening . . . but now today he says he wants to be friends. Another woman he met the other week and only saw a couple of times is ready to get serious more quickly apparently than me.

    I've never really dated and I've never been with anyone but my H. This guy knew all this and agreed on going slow. So what's the usual expected time line? We had both agreed that we wanted to be friends before we escalated anything, since we were looking for a long-term thing . . .

    I thought that's what we were doing - but apparently a quick fuck trumps a regular thing.

    So what gives? How far do guys really expect to get with a woman they are interested in for more than a fling or short-term thing? One friend told me he expects to get pussy the second date, which I thought was a bit quick!
     
  2. rob_just_rob

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2005
    Messages:
    6,037
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Nowhere near you
    That's tough. You don't want to move too fast in case that's offputting, and you don't want to move too slow and lose out to someone else before getting physical.

    For me, the third date has always been the 'move' date. Generally sex happens around there. It can sometimes be a bit later depending on circumstances (i.e. I don't necessarily write off a woman who doesn't fuck on the 3rd date). Sex on the first or second date is a bit early for me, unless it's spelled out that it's a one night stand or otherwise not serious.

    In your case, it's kind of hard that he seems to have found someone else, but to play devil's advocate, he may have fully intended to go slow and then just got 'swept off his feet' by the other woman. It happens. Don't let it bug you too much - we've all been there, on one side or the other.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted