The dating/relationship failures thread

[wallyj84]

Every couple of weeks it seems like someone posts a thread complaining about their dating troubles. So I thought why not just make a giant complaint thread.

I'll start.

I haven't had a girlfriend in about 4 years, haven't had a legit date in about 5 months and am still cyber stalking my ex from four years ago. My love life isn't even in shambles, it is non-existent.

This is really bad for me because I don't have the ego to still think that I have value in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. So my already low confidence has sunk to dramatically.

Please share your dating or relationship complaints.

 

[967155]

 

[wallyj84]

View attachment 509620

Maybe that's my problem. I'm not sending any dick pics in my online dating.

 

[967155]

Maybe that's my problem. I'm not sending any dick pics in my online dating.

Lol thats not what i meant

 

[AlteredEgo]

My divorce is not final, my ex, my best friend in all the world, and I still cohabitate, and my boyfriend is still a year away from moving close. He lives two states away. It's over 600 miles. It's a ten hour drive. I miss him all the time. My ex is heartbroken, and I feel like a criminal for hurting such a gentle, decent, loving soul. But we both need to be free to find better suited partners. I found a great guy (actually, he found me) and my ex can find a great guy too. Still, it is frustrating and worrisome that I waited so long to marry, rejected several proposals, and ended up choosing so poorly for myself. It can really make one question a lot about oneself.

 

[Crimsonlurker]

Haven't been in a relationship in over six years. Haven't had a friend with benefits for well over seven months. Am not boyfriend or husband material. Couldn't navigate an actual relationship if the world depended on it. And have already thrown in the towel on finding someone so much that the lobster gave me sooo many inside jokes to thoughtfully lob at couples.

 

[EllieP]

Oh shoots, I wrote the book on dating bombs! It was so bad I finally just gave up. I'm dead serious. I said I'm not going to date again. Ever. Celibacy. Well, except for my toy. I was good with that. I bombed with every guy I tried to build a relationship with. From age 22 to 28 I never met a man interested in a long term relationship. There was lots of fun and lots of very nice guys, but they never lasted. I tried not to push so hard. Nope. They slipped through the cracks. I tried pushing hard. Wow! Who didn't know that would happen? Men get spooked so easily.

I understand a 25-year old single mom is probably not the prize they were looking for, but it's all I had. I was a career woman, which I thought was a pretty good deal. Apparently not good enough.

But not once, never ever in all that time did I ever think about my ex. Well, I thought about him, skinned, hog-tied and rolled in rock salt.

I thought I was decent wife material. I had to wait a long time to prove it to someone. It was only after my self-imposed exile when I threw away my grocery list and gave up on men that one found me.

 

[LaFemme]

I am the queen of failures. I rule with a glittery fist! But completely satisfied with my singledom kingdom.

A few years ago I was ripe, lush, full and ready. A woman ready for love and sex. I was practically dripping off the tree. But I got caught up with a catfish who exhausted me, tried me, and wore me down.

And that was that. Once that was over, I discovered I had nothing left. Not only that, but I'm good with it. Content and full up on my own. I've lived and I have loved. It's all good.

 

[Auggiecakes]

I'm still in my early 20's and I'll tell you that dating has been ruined by smart phones. Even going out is ruined. Just think about the fact that so many adult are running around looking for virtual monster, driving into cops and falling off cliffs. Society is dead to me. Honestly the world just needs to end.

 

[keenobserver]

I'm still in my early 20's and I'll tell you that dating has been ruined by smart phones. Even going out is ruined. Just think about the fact that so many adult are running around looking for virtual monster, driving into cops and falling off cliffs. Society is dead to me. Honestly the world just needs to end.

. . . and there are some negatives too.

 

[985282]

I've given up on this a long time ago, much happier single. Also, very few honest people left in this world.

 

[neintynein]

Every couple of weeks it seems like someone posts a thread complaining about their dating troubles. So I thought why not just make a giant complaint thread.

I'll start.

I haven't had a girlfriend in about 4 years, haven't had a legit date in about 5 months and am still cyber stalking my ex from four years ago. My love life isn't even in shambles, it is non-existent.

This is really bad for me because I don't have the ego to still think that I have value in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. So my already low confidence has sunk to dramatically.

Please share your dating or relationship complaints.

no offense -- I say this having wasted years on this at different points in my life -- but if after four years you're still cyberstalking your ex, you need to try psychotherapy. Get evaluated for depression, though you may well not be. Then look at why you think you can't or won't move on from things/people you've lost and why you doubt the future will be different/better than the past.

Don't let any worry about stigma for getting help -- medication or therapy-- ever slow you down on this. Just look at what percentage of Americans get help, and then go do it. It gets better.

 

[deleted871301]

This happened a long time ago. I met a guy at a mutual friend's birthday celebration in 2009. He invited me for "coffee" and it took me a week to eventually visit for "coffee". We enjoyed each others company and it progressed to me sleeping over 3 times a week, having my own set of keys to his house and feeling like we were meant to be in each others lives.

5 months later that all changed one night when lying in bed and I made the mistake of saying that I was in a "happy place" just being with him. He told me to remember that initially he stated that he did not want a relationship. I thought about it and he was right. He did say so but I thought that 5 months later things had changed. Stupid me. I made the mistake of falling in love with him.

I decided to end things by slowly withdrawing from him. If after 5 months he could not commit to me then where would I be in 5 years time? I decided to rather be single and be open for what may come. Sadly... nothing came.

Thank goodness I started a new job and had to relocate out of town to a farm. We are still in contact via facebook and sms but I have not physically seen him since 2010.

At my age, 49, I don't have the time (work commitments) or energy to pursue a relationship. Hell... I don't even have the energy to deal with meeting prospective friends with benefits.

I am happy to be single. What saddens me is when I hear married couples in a relationship complain about trivial things like sharing household chores and I think to myself, damn, I wish I had your problems. At least you have a partner in life.

 

[wallyj84]

no offense -- I say this having wasted years on this at different points in my life -- but if after four years you're still cyberstalking your ex, you need to try psychotherapy. Get evaluated for depression, though you may well not be. Then look at why you think you can't or won't move on from things/people you've lost and why you doubt the future will be different/better than the past.

Don't let any worry about stigma for getting help -- medication or therapy-- ever slow you down on this. Just look at what percentage of Americans get help, and then go do it. It gets better.

I agree. I was actually in therapy for a while. I stopped when it got too expensive.

I was actually in therapy for the same reason that I will probably get therapy soon, my ex.

Although, I think my issues now have more to do with self loathing and a feeling of pessimism about the future. I do think my best days are behind me and can't see any future relationships working out as well as my relationship with my ex did. She was attractive, nice, caring and smart. I can't get all four of those traits. I'm too ugly. I do feel like she was the best I'll ever be able to do, and sadly all my experience in the last four years proves this to be true.

 

[EllieP]

I'm still in my early 20's and I'll tell you that dating has been ruined by smart phones. Even going out is ruined. Just think about the fact that so many adult are running around looking for virtual monster, driving into cops and falling off cliffs. Society is dead to me. Honestly the world just needs to end.

If you put up with that nonsense then you're going to have a bad time. I took my friend's phone away from her the other day and turned it off. I said "turn it on and I'm going home." It was a lovely meal after that.

I like to see those people out playing with their little pokemons. Lets me know where and who they are. Of course, I've been surprised at who is playing! I asked my husband if he was playing, and he said "Who? What?" I said never mind. Good.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

sheesh... what a bunch of fukin whiners.

So you got burned. Heart all broken.

That's what its THERE FOR.


Love is not for the weak of knee.

It takes a warrior.

Gird yer god damn loins and get out there.

the world is chock full of lonely souls aching to be held.

Spread your arms wide and take the chance.

 

[wallyj84]

I agree. I was actually in therapy for a while. I stopped when it got too expensive.

I was actually in therapy for the same reason that I will probably get therapy soon, my ex.

Although, I think my issues now have more to do with self loathing and a feeling of pessimism about the future. I do think my best days are behind me and can't see any future relationships working out as well as my relationship with my ex did. She was attractive, nice, caring and smart. I can't get all four of those traits. I'm too ugly. I do feel like she was the best I'll ever be able to do, and sadly all my experience in the last four years proves this to be true.

I just listened to an interesting podcast about how to get over your ex.

I can follow most of the advice, but I can't do one thing: cut off contact with her. I just can't do it mentally. She meant so much to me emotionally that I just don't want a situation where she's not at all a part of my life.

I'm pathetic.

 

[ronin001]

I'm still in my early 20's and I'll tell you that dating has been ruined by smart phones. Even going out is ruined. Just think about the fact that so many adult are running around looking for virtual monster, driving into cops and falling off cliffs. Society is dead to me. Honestly the world just needs to end.

Hang in there

 

[ronin001]

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
So as screwed up as life can be, mine included, there is always hope, so never loose hope that tomorrow will wind up great for everyone.

 

[bi_todd]

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Funny you mentioned that, because I've been thinking of that line all day. I'm honestly not sure if I agree with that quote in the context of my own life. I can say there are some experiences with love that I would be better without.