The definition of a Cougar...

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by naughty, May 26, 2006.

  1. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Cougars has come to Dr. Phil!

    Are you a Cougar?

    Are you a successful woman in your 50s or 60s who preys on younger men solely for sexual gratification? Do you go out on "Cougar Night" with other women your age to pick up younger men? Is your lifestyle causing conflict with your children and other family members because they want you to find someone your own age?


    So ladies, how does this redefine us?
     
  2. gg42

    gg42 New Member

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    Why "cougar"????
     
  3. stud_hunter

    stud_hunter New Member

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    Not sure I agree with Dr. Phil on this one. That's a little too narrow. Ever since the original "cougar" thread, I've kinda figured I fit the bill. Let's see:
    Successful woman - check
    50 or 60s - not for a decade plus
    preys on younger men - well, I don't EAT them, so 1/2 check
    Cougar night - rarely, but once in awhile
    Conflict w/family - a little, but not much

    So, I guess I just think of a cougar as a woman, say 35+, who likes sex with younger men. CHECK!:tongue:
     
  4. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Then there are the Cougars in the Red Hat Club...
     
  5. ClaireTalon

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    Okay, the checklist first:

    Are you a successful woman in your 50s or 60s who preys on younger men solely for sexual gratification?

    Successful - yes. 50s/60s - no, but will get there. Younger men solely for sexual gratification - yes, mostly.

    Do you go out on "Cougar Night" with other women your age to pick up younger
    men? -
    No, I'm a rogue. I like going out with some of my good ol' gals, but we're geographically separated and have to restrict the pack hunting to once a year.

    Is your lifestyle causing conflict with your children and other family members because they want you to find someone your own age? - What family? Nobody gets into my way so far, except for some bitches I know from work who don't like my style. Fuck 'em.

    Okay, I don't think the term cougar is derogative, not any more. Some deny it, I am close to denying it most of the time, but generally, society is liberal enough in most places to condone the YMOF thing, or at least they'll dismember you in absence while grinning and bearing it in your presence. So, if someone calls me a cougar, I can live with it, and very well so. I love being a cougar.
     
  6. Ethyl

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    Good question. I've just discovered (here on LSPG) i'm a Cougar, simply meaning I have an affinity for younger men, and now it's already undergoing a switch in definition? Bugger it all! :disappointed:

    Let's see: i've got about 15 years before hitting Dr. Phil's age requirement. I prefer the word "seek" rather than "prey". Like Claire, most of my friends are scattered all over, so a regular night out isn't possible. No conflict. Most of my family and friends actually think it's cool I prefer younger men, so no problem there. I emailed a photo of a 28-year old I recently met to my mother the other day and asked her what she thought. "Well, as your mother i'll tell you to be careful. As a woman--"Hot Damn!"


    Did you watch the entire show, Naughty? I never watch it, but i'd be interested to hear what others had to say.
     
  7. Gisella

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    I think im succesful but not in this age group...

    Another thing is i dont pick young males for sexual gratiffication ...but most of my parteners were bit younger than me...they like me and i could not resist...but i never look my age anyways.:tongue:

    Not having conflict now days with no one about that but my family notice that situation and want me go older for sure. Nowdays I desire to taste older male...:cool:

    But one thing i think about is viagra users...at which age men start using that? I'm kind of "afraid" of sexual performance and desire in older man because i've already suffer in realtionship with male with lower sex drive than mine - it was a nightmare.

    I tought i was a cougar because was "extra horny" but after that definition im not one.
     
  8. stud_hunter

    stud_hunter New Member

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    Very nice. :biggrin1: I put that I have a little conflict with family just because my ex sometimes makes comments about it. I suppose when I think about it I don't really consider him family anymore though. I also don't have a whole lot to do with him except for our son (age 19, lives on his own). Fortunately the people who matter to me are mostly pretty supportive. I guess in my case it's not only that I like younger men but also that at present I choose to be sexually active but not be in a serious relationship. I guess that goes back to the stud or slut thread, because a lot of people still have a problem with a woman having casual sex for the pleasure of it.
     
  9. Ethyl

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    Support is a gift not to be taken lightly. My ex has made a few comments as well. Some men our age or older seem to be a little uncomfortable with this, which is odd since they usually want younger women. Weird. Anyway, i'm in the same place as you. Not looking for a serious relationship but more of a friends-with-benefits, something that is difficult to find here in conservative Delaware. I may have to shift my location and start hunting in Philly.
     
  10. stud_hunter

    stud_hunter New Member

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    Good hunting to you!
    As for comments from the ex, a girlfriend of mine had a good thought on why the exes are weird on this issue. The assumption is if I'm with a younger guy, it must be for the sex. This is mostly true, of course :tongue: . But from a man's viewpoint, if I'm with a guy for the hot sex, my ex might think maybe I didn't think the sex with him was good. And you know how sensitive guys are about their performance in bed. Actually my ex was perfectly fine in the sack, but I think that's where the insecurity comes into play.
     
  11. gg42

    gg42 New Member

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    Friends with benefits is never hard to find for a woman....
     
  12. Expando1

    Expando1 New Member

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    I don't know why the older woman-younger guy thing is such a big deal. i happen to think it's better. older women have a way of pushing the envelope and bringing out the best in younger guys...sexually and otherwise. my first encounter with an older woman was when i was 24; she was 36 and came on really strongly. as a guy who was hitherto the aggressor i was taken aback and didn't know what to do or how to conduct my self for weeks of this pursuit. but it turned out to be one of the best high energy 6-month fling of my life. i took a lot from that relationship to my subsequent ones. i mellowed out a lot sexually...i was way more calm & confident and not so aggressive in "proving" to women that i was the best stud in bed they will ever come across...which ironically i realized after that realationship made me a worse lover.
     
  13. ClaireTalon

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    LOL, I wish I had had a mother like this. Be careful, it looks like you struck a chord with her by sending her that photo, and might have roused her appetite for the youngbucks too!

    It seems all us cougars are out for the same thing: Have hot sex, but not get into a relationship right away. Theoretically, we should be any man's wet dream because of that, but still it makes them nervous and apparently suspicious to meet a woman who is like that. Why is that? Is it because we're harder to control, harder to bind for a permanent sexual relationship? Possibly, but still a point worth to be thought about.
     
  14. Ethyl

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    It's a mystery to me. Maybe the (stereotypical) role reversal confuses them. After scouring the internet with little success, i'm exploring other avenues. Most of the guys on Match.com are either really flaky or appear to be off house arrest. Craigslist is fun to read (where else can you find posts like
    "looking for a nice smile and a big butt"?), but i've yet to find anyone worthwhile on that site. I once posted there and the replies were interesting, to say the least. I received lots of rude remarks, 10 year-old photos from older guys, a gazillion cock shots (sad ones, too). All to be expected, but oddly enough I also received list after list of expectations about how they wanted things to proceed. I guess some guys still need to feel a sense of control and an FWB should be respectfully fun without all the hassles of control issues.

    gg42 says it should be easy for me. I wish it were. Is it unrealistic of me to want a sexual friendship with a really cool guy?
     
  15. Fredneck1951

    Fredneck1951 Member

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    Studhunter, you got an early start to have a 19-yo son! Congratulations!

    If I might ask, as a mother, what's your feeling about the age of the people he dates, assuming you're aware of his social life? What's his feeling about his Mom dating guys just old enough to be his big brother, assuming he's aware of your social life?
     
  16. stud_hunter

    stud_hunter New Member

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    An early start indeed! How's this for an early start? Starting dating my 1st boyfriend when I was 16 and he was 18. Had our son 3 yrs later, got married when I was 20! But I'm eternally grateful because I know other women who got that kind of start and had 3 kids by the time they were 25. I don't know why, but suddenly I got freaked out at how fast things were moving in my life. The short of it is we stopped at 1 child, my husband got his college degree at age 28, I ended up getting my college degree at age 33, divorced at age 36, and now a single woman on the prowl! :biggrin1: There ya go - the story of my life.
    Oh, and to answer your question, I think my son is aware of my social life to a point. He knows I "date", but I don't know if he knows I've been with guys a lot younger than me (the youngest fellow I've been with was 23). I see my son pretty regularly but we've never gotten into a lot of detail about my sex life. So bottom line is it's just really never been a topic.
     
  17. Fredneck1951

    Fredneck1951 Member

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    Hey it's a good story Studhunter! You are a cool lady.

    You didn't answer the other part of my question, are you aware of the ages of the people he dates? Some mothers have been known to frown on "cradle-robbers", you know.

    I was 24 when my Mom first met my girlfriend-to-be-wife who was 33. I know Mom was leery of the relationship at first, but God bless her, she accepted my wife and they have always had a warm and caring relationship without any "Mother-in-Law" interference or crapola.

    I figure you would be that kind of accepting and enlightened Mom, too. Yes?
     
  18. stud_hunter

    stud_hunter New Member

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    To the best of my knowledge he's only dated girls around his age. I know he briefly was with one gal who was I think 3 yrs older than him, but that's it. If he did date someone a lot older it might be weird if they were close to my age. But really, all those "rules" about whose not supposed to get with who, I have no use for all that. If it feels good I say do it.
     
  19. bigschlotsky

    bigschlotsky New Member

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    Not unrealistic at all. But I can appreciate your struggle to find the right person.
    Regarding the whole friends w/benefits thing, I certainly understand your desire to have the sex without the complications, but have you found in the past that you can really keep the complications out? I'm presently in a FWB relationship with a woman who I met at work. In many ways it's been a totally hot fling. She's 41 with a freaking incredible body for her age, and we have great sex. Mindblowing some times. And of course it's nice that she says she prefers a large cock and that mine is perfect (always a nice ego boost!). We also get along pretty well and like each other, but I'm starting to wonder if this is messing with my head a little. When I meet a woman I might like to date I always have that voice in my head that asks if it's worth possibly giving up my FWB relationship, or wondering if I got into a monogamous relationship how I'd end it with my FWB. I know. Great problem to have :wink: . I'm just wondering if anyone ever dealt with something like that.
     
  20. ClaireTalon

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    That would make one of the very few cases where the son's girlfriend is older, or nearly as old as his mother. Funny, isn't it? I guess some directors could make a whole comedy movie around that, especially if you spiel it on to marriage etc. Cool of you to abandon the crap about age no-no's and stuff. I guess that comes from your own history of love and marriage ;-)
     
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