The Desire from the Ovaries?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by CooperLex, Nov 5, 2010.

  1. CooperLex

    CooperLex New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2010
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's quite common knowledge that men are "cock-driven".

    Healthy young man with active testicles will feel a strong URGE to ejaculate their seeds.

    In short: Men have a strong biologic urge/drive coming from their testicles and the effect of Testosterone to engage in sex or masturbation.

    I was wondering whether women experience a similar biological urge to engage in sex or masturbation, as men do.

    From a biological point of view the only time it would make sense for a women to feel an urge to engage in sex is during the time of ovulation, i.e. when she can get pregnant.

    Other women may have a higher level of testosterone and thus more 'fueled' urges.

    It may be difficult for a person to asses whether the desire for sex/masturbation comes from a biological urge or from other reasons (lust, "having fun", attraction, ..)

    But, if you engage in sex or masturbation, what comes first?

    A.) The stimulus (e.g. meeting an attractive person or having a 'naughty thought' or the desire to "have fun" just because it's pleasant) which then leads to sex or masturbation
    OR
    B.) The sexual urge (i.e. the need to "bust some balls" in men's world) which leads you to search for willing partners, or watch/read porn or imagine some fantasies ?

    Your feedback is appreciated.
     
  2. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,441
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,510
    Location:
    United States
    I feel every day an undeniable, indomitable urge to have a really hard orgasm. If I have small orgasms, my drive to keep going is overwhelming. If I ignore the urge, that's one thing, but if I start doing something about it, I would be extremely hard pressed to stop. Humans are social creatures, and have historically always raised offspring in some kind of family unit. Sex is a great binder for a family. I disagree that "From a biological point of view the only time it would make sense for a women to feel an urge to engage in sex is during the time of ovulation". I think that from a biological point of view, it makes sense for a woman to have sexual urges as often as her mate, so that he will not spread his seed around so far that her family unit falls apart. That's my speculation.

    I'll speculate a little more. The first time I had sex, I initiated. My boyfriend protested, because I'd preached chastity for months. However, I felt like the decision was out of my hands. I had to have him, and I was willing to do anything to get him to fuck me. It was almost out of body. Sometimes, I have felt a similar type of drive for sex. The other day, after my husband had been out of town for a few days, (and we'd not been able to have sex for a week and a half before he left due to painful PMS and menstruation) I nearly destroyed my rabbit, grinding it into me, pounding it into me, squeezing it so hard that the "now more powerful motor!" could no longer rotate the beads or gyrate the shaft, and as I felt the discomfort of it heating up I bore down harder, and though I came hard, quite as hard as I am capable, I needed to keep going. I had to release my grip and go back to grinding. This sort of urge doesn;t come from boredom, or out of my head. I have to assume it's hormonal. I feel about as much control over this sort of thing as I do over my ability to be friendly all day when I have PMS. I think it absolutely makes sense for the urges to be caused by my ovaries, or some other part of my endocrine system.
     
  3. CooperLex

    CooperLex New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2010
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks for your detailed reply.

    You mentioned you had an uncontrollable urge to have sex with your first boyfriend and your husband (when he was out of town).

    Despite having such a great desire for orgasm, wouldn't you say both of those scenarios were in response to the attraction you felt for your boyfriend/husband? Would you have had the same desire for sex if there would have not been a boyfriend in the first place?

    I can only speak for men, but we men have (especially in puberty) a very strong, but undirected urge. That means we have the urge first and then we seek the stimulus next (if we're lucky a willing girl, but mostly some stimulating material).

    I would believe with women the stimulus comes first (i.e. the boyfriend you desire) which then fuels your urge.

    Or, are we after all that similar?
     
    #3 CooperLex, Nov 5, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2010
  4. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,441
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,510
    Location:
    United States
    (If this breaks the no discussing sex-acts involving minors rule, moderators please feel free to remove. I figure it's okay to post, because I'll try to keep it as observational as possible, and there is no intention or desire to titillate, but if I'm wrong, please do what you must. )

    I've been horny since I was a baby. When I was prepubescent, especially before elementary school, sexual-type urges were definitely driven by the fact that touching felt good. The urges were directed at myself, until I was socialized enough to choose celebrities about whom to fantasize while I touched. Before I began elementary school, I spent an unreasonable amount of time hiding under my bed, playing solo. The urge would start because I wanted the pleasure, but I found once I started, it was difficult to stop. I suspect it's because I could not orgasm.

    During the onset of puberty, the nature of the sensations changed, and so did the sense of urgency regarding masturbation. Whenever I actually fantasized while masturbating (which was most of the time, but not always) I invented the partners. They were not real people. The urge came first, then the fantasy, but it was still largely pleasure-driven.

    The urges in high school were different. I was attracted to plenty of guys, but I never felt any urgent need to fuck them. It was like I was starved for sex with my boyfriend, especially the first time. There were plenty of times when I was aroused by him, and we had many orgasms together without intercourse. But the reason we had sex that first time was I very literally NEEDED to be penetrated. In retrospect, I'm not sure it had to be him, other than the fact that I was very comfortable with him, and attached to him. I was physically uncomfortable in a way I'd never experienced before (but have experienced many, many times since). I was not ripe at the time, either. It was less than a week after I menstruated.
     
  5. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    To be honest, I think it's a bit difficult to really say what came first. Considering that it's entirely possible to be thinking about several things at once, often without us realising consciously that we are thinking about certain things, how do you know you weren't thinking sexual stuff before you got physically aroused?

    Having said that, I do seem to get very physically aroused without it being triggered by particular thoughts.
     
  6. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    Actually most psychologists and biologists believe that women evolved a desire to have sex at any time of the month for biological/social reasons. As AE said earlier, a woman who is able and happy to have sex at any time of the month, is more likely to keep her mate happy. If he is happy and getting sex, he is more likely to hang around and help her raise her babies (which is really useful if your babies can't function independently for years). They are then more likely to survive. ie. It makes biological sense to be sexually receptive and to desire sex at all times of the month.

    Studies have found however that women are more likely to be sexually aggressive (ie. initiating and obtaining sex) when they are ovulating.
     
  7. Empathizer

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2009
    Messages:
    545
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NYC
    Verified:
    Photo
    I guess if I hadn't been fingered by the eight-year-old when I was 4 1/2, had the "starter period" when I was ten and a half, but stopped and then been molested at 11-12 by my sixth-grade teacher, and group groped in the hall at 13 by the group of jocks, I would have had a trajectory like yours.

    I'm jealous. Not spiteful, not "she shouldn't have had it if I couldn't have." I am happy for you, but jealous of you, too. I wish I could have been not-frozen-inside about having someone penetrate me or even having a respectful boy date me. I wish I could have had fun, I-need-it teen sex. As it is, I spent a majority of my life pining for a normal sexual awakening that was taken from me when I was still in training pants, then again in sixth, then again in seventh grade. Then again at age 21. And still tormented by the lifelong urge to fuck, even though the urge itself was attached to the reality of traumatic memories.
     
  8. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,441
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,510
    Location:
    United States
    Awww, Empathizer! I'm enraged on your behalf. It makes me furious when I hear about children getting robbed in this way. I don't think there is anything wrong with children experimenting on each other when it is of mutual interest, and they are in the same peer group. However, what happened to you is just awful.
     
  9. CooperLex

    CooperLex New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2010
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
  10. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    Males and females both have hormone driven urges. I have been repeatedly called out of complete solitude by my insatiable biological needs for interaction as well as horsed around by instincts. The brainy part of me resents this greatly. But I am not going to subject the world to insanity brought on by celibacy, like all those Catholic clergy.
     
  11. badgirl22

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2008
    Messages:
    756
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    US
    Verified:
    Photo
    I've been horny since I can remember. Started masturbating at age two and never stopped. I have become extremely horny in my 40's. Was in a sexless marriage for 12 years and left him because I coudn't stand not having sex for one minute longer.

    Sometimes my body just becomes totally ready for sex and my genitals become fully engorged. This has nothing to do with anything sexual - it just happens. When it does, I have the urge to orgasm and it just builds and builds becoming quite painful. Often times actually having an orgasm doesn't take away the feeling and it's quite maddening.

    I do know the more I have sex the more I want to continue. I am well aware the level of horniness has nothing to do with the attraction to the man I'm with in many cases. It may well be my body going into overdrivce before it begins menopause but I have no idea. I'd hate to think I'd lose my sex drive. I'm finally enjoying it!
     
  12. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    Fear not. :wink:
     
  13. Empathizer

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2009
    Messages:
    545
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NYC
    Verified:
    Photo
    badgirl --

    Sex is not a want. It's a need. Without it, there would be no more of the species!

    The phenomenon you are describing (the ache) is what men call "blue balls" and I call "whimpering wings" (the labia are the wings).
     
Draft saved Draft deleted