The Eight Lousiest Apologies Ever Despite what that old chestnut Love Story will have you believe, love doesnt mean never having to say youre sorry. In fact, one of the most important components of any relationship is the ability to suck it up and apologize every now and again. Its hardly brain surgery, but who among us hasnt been the recipient of an apology that wound up making you feel even worse than the original transgression? For something thats basically a no-brainer, theres a bevy of ways to get it very, very wrong. In fact, the late Randy Pauschs bestseller, The Last Lecture has an entire chapter called A bad apology is worse than no apology. Now granted, men are definitely more prone to the botched apology (see John Edwards, Bill Clinton, etcetera), but we ladies have also been known to blow an act of contrition on occasion. After the jump, some apology strategies to avoid "What I wouldnt pay to be a fly on the wall the first time some cheater tries to use the new study showing that some men have a genetic predisposition towards non-monogamy. Sorry ladies, so far theres no equivalent study for us female types, so dont even think about it." 1. The Blame Shifter: Witness the number one worst way to say sorry of all time: Im sorry you feel that way. Interesting game planblaming the person youre ostensibly making amends to for getting rightfully pissed off at your horrendous behavior. If youre not sorry for your actions, dont apologize. If you are genuinely repentant, take off the training bra, squeeze em into the underwire, and take responsibility like a woman. 2. Lady Liquor Made Me Do It: So you had a little too much to drink at a friends birthday party and ended up making out in the bathroom with the bartender. When your boyfriend finds out, its probably best to just own up to the mistake rather than say, But I was drunk! Those five shots of tequila only gave you the courage to do something stupid and regretful, it didnt actually do it for you. 3. Its All In The Genes: What I wouldnt pay to be a fly on the wall the first time some cheater tries to use the new study showing that some men have a genetic predisposition towards non-monogamy. Sorry ladies, so far theres no equivalent study for us female types, so dont even think about it. 4. Forcing Forgiveness: You have to forgive meyou must! Demanding absolution is possibly more annoying than your original sin. This is a lose/lose. 5. The Big But: An acquaintances wife apologized for sleeping with a coworker with the caveat, But he came onto me! So obviously she had no choice but to cozy up. Oh, please. Inserting the word but into any apology immediately negates it. 6. The Sympathy Bid: A boyfriend once apologized for standing me up by ruefully rambling on about how his tragic childhood left him ill-equipped to deal with obligations. What this had to do with blowing off dinner still eludes me. Youre supposed to be making a plea for forgiveness, not hosting a pity party for one. 7. e-Sorry: There are very few occasions that warrant an e-card. Screwing up and subsequently begging forgiveness via an animated teddy bear and a terrible jingle is definitely not one of them. 8. Skirting the Issue: Im sorry I hurt your feelings, is not the same as Im sorry I cheated on your with your best friend, in your bed, while you were at your uncles funeral. Though either way you phrase it, I wouldnt hold my breath waiting for forgiveness on that one.