Lex said a lot of really amazing things in this thread (as did many of you)...but this one piece of his post rang SO true for me. I am happier now than I've ever been in my life, and I can say that with utmost certainty. Previously I could say it, and sort of mean it, for certain aspects. Mostly as a facade to the outside world so that they couldn't see how truly miserable I was on the inside. And maybe if they didn't see it, somehow it wasn't true. At any rate, part of becoming a happier person was letting go of a TON of guilt. Guilt is an ugly nasty thing that can weigh you down SO much. And I had plenty. Guilt is associated with another common downfall mentioned in this thread and that is the need to please others, trying to live up to expectations others set, trying to be accepted by others. All of those things really only set you up for feelings of despair and guilt, just a multitude of negative self defeating thought patterns. I became truly happy when I decided to do something about my guilt. I decided to think of all the things I felt guilty about. Some of them were things I could change, and if I could, I did. Actually taking action and DOING something was monumental. It gave me power, it gave me confidence and it reinforced the fact that I was in control of MY happiness. After I did this I realized the rest of the things I felt guilty about were indeed ideas or expectations that OTHERS imposed upon me. These were easy to deal with once I figured out "Hello! It's YOUR life YOUR happiness....to HELL with what THEY expect of you". I am doing all the things I always dreamed of doing with my life. I'm bonding with my daughter and parenting her as a happy self motivated STRONG woman. I am making decisions for my life based on what I believe and want. I'm no longer this scared, indecisive little girl trapped inside her own mind... reaching for the things she knows will set her free, but too afraid to grab them based on what others may think. I know happiness comes from different places for different people. I've merely shared what melted away years of bitter unhappiness for me. I'll admit I am on medication, and I do go to therapy, but I strongly believe that working through these issues and TRUSTING myself has much to do with my positive views on life now. To be productive in this life, is to grow and chase your dreams, to dream and pursue your idea of happiness you MUST have a positive vision. I have that positive vision, I know nothing can stand in my way, because I am in charge. I believe this is truly what makes me happy.
The Empty Pursuit of Happiness
- Thread starter earllogjam
- Start date
Lex said a lot of really amazing things in this thread (as did many of you)...but this one piece of his post rang SO true for me. I am happier now than I've ever been in my life, and I can say that with utmost certainty. Previously I could say it, and sort of mean it, for certain aspects. Mostly as a facade to the outside world so that they couldn't see how truly miserable I was on the inside. And maybe if they didn't see it, somehow it wasn't true. At any rate, part of becoming a happier person was letting go of a TON of guilt. Guilt is an ugly nasty thing that can weigh you down SO much. And I had plenty. Guilt is associated with another common downfall mentioned in this thread and that is the need to please others, trying to live up to expectations others set, trying to be accepted by others. All of those things really only set you up for feelings of despair and guilt, just a multitude of negative self defeating thought patterns. I became truly happy when I decided to do something about my guilt. I decided to think of all the things I felt guilty about. Some of them were things I could change, and if I could, I did. Actually taking action and DOING something was monumental. It gave me power, it gave me confidence and it reinforced the fact that I was in control of MY happiness. After I did this I realized the rest of the things I felt guilty about were indeed ideas or expectations that OTHERS imposed upon me. These were easy to deal with once I figured out "Hello! It's YOUR life YOUR happiness....to HELL with what THEY expect of you". I am doing all the things I always dreamed of doing with my life. I'm bonding with my daughter and parenting her as a happy self motivated STRONG woman. I am making decisions for my life based on what I believe and want. I'm no longer this scared, indecisive little girl trapped inside her own mind... reaching for the things she knows will set her free, but too afraid to grab them based on what others may think. I know happiness comes from different places for different people. I've merely shared what melted away years of bitter unhappiness for me. I'll admit I am on medication, and I do go to therapy, but I strongly believe that working through these issues and TRUSTING myself has much to do with my positive views on life now. To be productive in this life, is to grow and chase your dreams, to dream and pursue your idea of happiness you MUST have a positive vision. I have that positive vision, I know nothing can stand in my way, because I am in charge. I believe this is truly what makes me happy.
I have a warm place in my heart for anyone who likes music videos shot in shopping malls. Those were such cheesy times.
Remember this one? YouTube - Tiffany - I Think We're Alone Now (1987)
Life was a shopping mall. Oh what good times. Here is my happy fuzzy butt Mawg.
Yes, that movie was shot in a shopping mall. God. I remember those bb's running thru the plastic tubes to simulate their transport system.
Sanctuary. Where is Sanctuary? I guess if you remember that movie your red light in your palm when dead already and you are overdue for Carousel. Everyone was happy there though. :smile:
Same here. It's very liberating when you stop worrying about how others' perceive you.
Quoted for truth.
I was just talking to someone on this site about this very subject. Guilt is a useless emotion. People equate it with remorse which is altogether different.
Just reading that made me tired.
Nah, I'd look like shit in one of those red and white jumpsuits . . . Not to mention the horror of all that pastel acetate everyone else was wearing . . .
:scared2:
Happiness is rubbing your dog (or partner, or, possibly, cat) behind the ears . . .
Lex
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- Lex,
I have never felt a truer sense of freedom.
Yes, guilt it totally useless. It is an emotion that people use to attempt to control you. I can't be guilted into anything.
If I feel remorseful, it is NOT because I feel guilty.
Were they? Carousel is a lie!
On the other hand, for their happiness they had 1) The Circuit - the 1976 vision of internet dating, and 2) that sex club in the mall, which I can't find footage of.
Earl? Maybe instead of Sanctuary, what you need to be happy is the "sleep center" in Soylent Green :tongue:
See they were happy there. I wish I had a dial up service like that circuit machine. Funny how he rejected the first one that came out.
Hmmmmm. Food for thought.
Do you get to choose what color soylent you be?
hypolimnas
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