The end of a fuckbuddy...

[ClaireTalon]

I guess this thread could be a lesson for Cloudburst21 from the "Desperate Housewife" thread, also in this subsection, and teach him and others what happens if you fool around with someone involved with another person. Though on a happier note, this solved some problems for me.

Maybe I should begin at the beginning. About a year ago, even before I got to know Frank, I met Steve, another guy who had the pleasure of sharing the bed with me :biggrin1:. Having a fling with him was really riding the cougar cliché to the limit, he was about 20 years my junior, and he is involved with someone else, a girl around his age. His problem, which was what kept him in my bed partly, was that she refused to have sex with him, even though they were a committed couple. I didn't mind so far, obviously he was able to compartmentalize us, and since there was absolutely no danger that I fell for him, or vice versa, I saw no reason to end our sexual fling.

Until today. Or last week. Apparently he had a rush of honesty, and I guess he confessed to her, so when I opened the door last night for our date, there wasn't my young stud, but... right, his missus! It wouldn't have been half as embarrassing if I hadn't been fresh out of the shower and dressed only in a bathrobe. And as locked up as missus' thighs were, as hard was the punch that she landed on me, before a wonderful screaming match started, for all my neighbors to hear. It wasn't very pleasant. I've heard that some guys are turned on by the sight of two cats putting their talons into each other in a fight over him, but I don't think my neighbors like it if I exchange pleasantries like "stuck-up girlie bitch" and "sagging old slut" in the staircase. I guess if she had learned how to use a weapon, the exit could have become a messy one, but actually, I just helped her down the stairs and got her out on the sidewalk.

However, since I have already been preparing to finalize the thing with my fuckbuddy Steve, I guess this was only the catalyzer.

 

[Lordpendragon]

Sorry to hear that Claire - you have to say she has balls to punch you!

What a silly boy. Maybe time for men? :wink:

 

[Pecker]

Those who blame the other woman deserve to get cuckolded again.

 

[Ethyl]

I hear you, Pecker. I've never understood cuckholded women who aim their vengeance at the "other" woman. The boyfriend is the one who should have the mouthful of bloody chiclets.

Sorry to hear about this, Claire. Let's hope there's no more drama.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Well I'm not so sure what to say, I guess I would have blamed him for it, not you. Have to love the psycho ones.

 

[ClaireTalon]

Pendragon, you should have seen her in my armlock. The punch didn't help her a bit. But I don't think there'll be any more drama, apparently she was being controlled by her own anger, and needed to clear the air. Time for us all to move on.

I just hope she dumped him or he dumped her. If she refuses to have sex with him, she doesn't deserve him. He was good in bed, and I'm not sure whether I was his only or his first adventure on the side.

 

[OmahaBeef]

Damn...

OB

 

[notsmallmatt]

hey.. weird to see this thread tonight.. as i think ive just "begun" a fuckbuddy(hes 10 years my senior).. lol

why were you going to end it?
if he was only a fuckbuddy and he was good... ??

yeah sucks though... sounds like she shoulda got you all on jerry springer

 

[Principessa]

He told her where you live? Why? For what purpose?
She came and punched you!?!?!
WTF!! You were not the one cheating on her.
Does he know what transpired between you?
Cause he deserves to be told & read the riot act.
I'd be chewing him a new asshole in a most unpleasant way.

You appear to be the only one with a fully functioning brain in all of this. I am sorry this happend.

It's a lesson for me too. I had considered a much younger fuckbuddy but young people today have so much drama.

 

[notsmallmatt]

not all of us... but yeah.. most of us...

 

[Lex]

Those who blame the other woman deserve to get cuckolded again.

Exactly. She should be angry and upset at HIM not you. She obviously had been watching that old Dynasty episode with the Alexis-Crystal pool fight one too many times if she thought she was gonna handle you. Hell, *I* wouldn't want to wrestle you (for real) let alone fight ya.

I'm glad you are okay Claire.

 

[karmen]

Sorry to hear about your experience. It's hurtful all the way around BUT he is the one who cheated on her. She should have taken out her anger on him and not on you.

I truly hope that it's over and done with. Of course, the best way to help make sure it is done and over with would to permanently lose that foolish boy.

As it stands, he has betrayed her by cheating on her and has betrayed you by giving her enough or exact details so that she could find you at your home.

Hugs and Kisses,

Karmen

 

[prepstudinsc]

The guy sounds like a loser for telling her where you lived, but he's cheated on her with you, so he's probably gonna do it again. You did know that he was involved with someone else, so something blowing up should have been anticipated--even if it didn't happen. I know that the other posts are sympathetic, but I can't be. Sorry. It was a willing affair on both parts. I really can't blame the girl for going psycho. We don't know the reasons that she doesn't want to have sex. Maybe she's waiting until she gets married. Maybe she has a medical condition. Maybe she was raped and isn't ready for a physical relationship yet. There are lots of bits of information that are not known.

 

[Lex]

T...ling affair on both parts. I really can't blame the girl for going psycho. We don't know the reasons that she doesn't want to have sex. Maybe she's waiting until she gets married. ...

I disagree, Prep. If he does not decide to cheat, there is no affair. Claire could have chased him for years and as long as he does not cheat, nothing ever happens. The GF's issues are with her BF, not Claire. This is a textbook and, unfortunately, socially accepted example of displacement.

In psychology, displacement is an subconscious defense mechanism whereby the mind redirects affect from an object felt to be dangerous or unacceptable to an object felt to be safe or acceptable. For instance, some people punch cushions when angry at friends; a college student may snap at their roommate when upset about an exam grade.


Displacement operates unconsciously, in which emotions, ideas, or wishes are transferred from their original object to a more acceptable substitute. It is most often used to allay anxiety.


In scapegoating, aggression is displaced onto people with little political power such as minority-group members.


Displacement can act in a chain-reaction, with people unwittingly becoming both the victim and perpetrator of displacement. For example, a man is angry with his boss, but he cannot express this so he hits his wife. The wife hits one of the children, possibly disguising this as punishment (rationalization). The child kicks the dog.


Though displacement is usually used to refer to the displacement of aggressive impulses, it can also refer to the displacement of sexual impulses.

 

[Gisella]

I'm really sorry for that Claire...

What a ridiculous project of a man and a dirty player... who knows what satisfaction he got it from this situation, just sick!

 

[Wyldgusechaz]

From CT:His problem, which was what kept him in my bed partly, was that she refused to have sex with him, even though they were a committed couple.<<<

This part I don't get. Why date someone in a committed relationship? I cannot tell you how many times, in fact I just heard it 3 days ago, and the verbiage is always the same "why would one woman do this to another?"

There seems to be this code of honor between women that you just don't *play* with anothers man.Its unspoken but it is real. The guy in question is the real asshole and a coward but with so many men why hook up with someone with that baggage? Did you step on the grrrrl/grrrrl ethics?

 

[naughty]

Wow,

What a situation to experience. I have never understood women coming on to each other when the common problem is the man who has disrespected both of them. I am loath to label anyone in this situation however. Each was dealing with a rather untenable situation 1) Claire- with a man who was attached emotionally with someone else.though not married to her 2) Steve- emotionally attached to one woman but seeking out the fulfillment of other needs with another willing female 3) WOman emotionally attached or committed to a man who un known to her was finding sexual gratification with another woman. It seems as though each person is attempting to get needs met in less than optimum ways. Though I probably would not make choice a or b I would hope that I would not descend to the response of person C if confronted with such a situation. Actually, I have had that situation occur and my response was not to attack the other woman but to reassess my interactions with the man....

 

[ClaireTalon]

Well, thank you all for your thoughtful comments and considerations on this. I am no angel, I admit it, and there is part of that code between women not to play with each other's men without expressed consent, but if this code was obeyed generally, there'd be no cheating at all, right?

Also, I must admit that I give his girlfriend credit. Paying the side bitch, or in this case: me, a visit and giving her a punch is what I'd have done myself if I was in her position. However, I was pretty pissed, let alone embarrassed by her catching me half-naked. I don't know how deep his volunteering went, whether he handed her my address, or she snagged it from his stuff, but he must at least have told her that I was expecting him the moment when she rang my doorbell.

Prepstud, you are right on this, I know we were not heading into a permanent state with our triangle. I also say that we played it nasty on her when we were in that postcoital solved mood, I did a little impersonification of her sometimes by locking my thighs and faking disgust about sex and playing Ms. Untouchable Virgin. As far as he told me, she denies sex to him since they're not married, she's that kind of girl. I don't know how someone can live this way, that was my reason for these impersonifications.

I knew the thing would blow up in my, his or her face sooner or later. And to avoid more drama, I chickened out and let her have him. Hopefully she learns about the cathartic effects of sex soon. Might have helped her here ;-)

 

[Lex]

Actually, I have had that situation occur and my response was not to attack the other woman but to reassess my interactions with the man....

That is the proper response in this situation from the Wife/Girlfriend.

 

[naughty]

That is the proper response in this situation from the Wife/Girlfriend.

Yes, it is.That is an ideal reaction. I know however the amount of personal suffering that has gone on as a result of such a decision. Without getting to in depth, because I too think similarly to the fiance, it is not so much that I am not able but chose not to indulge at this point in time. I have unfortunately come to realize that many or most people do not share my feelings or beliefs so it tends to be a weeding out process one way or another. However, it does not mean that it is without pain or possible disappointment... Ah, the times I have heard, ".. a man has needs..."