The end of a fuckbuddy...

[Wyldgusechaz]

From ClaireTalon I also say that we played it nasty on her when we were in that postcoital solved mood, I did a little impersonification of her sometimes by locking my thighs and faking disgust about sex and playing Ms. Untouchable Virgin. As far as he told me, she denies sex to him since they're not married, she's that kind of girl. I don't know how someone can live this way, that was my reason for these impersonifications.

Doesn't anyone else find that statement to be a bit disturbing? Mocking another you don't know?

 

[LeeEJ]

I don't feel sorry for anyone involved. This is what happens, so don't be surprised, and most of all, don't be upset -- you KNEW it would happen someday.

Oh, boo hoo, it's so sad that the guy you were actively cheating with decided to STOP LYING for once... boo fucking hoo..

(if anyone doesn't know already, I hate liars. I hate them to their core. Active deception, to me, is one of the biggest, most vile acts of personal insult, ever.)

 

[prepstudinsc]

I knew the thing would blow up in my, his or her face sooner or later. And to avoid more drama, I chickened out and let her have him. Hopefully she learns about the cathartic effects of sex soon. Might have helped her here ;-)

While I don't think that the blow up was good on her part, you're better off without someone like that. He was cheating on her with you, he's gonna cheat on her again. Even when people say that there is no emotional involvement, there always is a little bit, so I'm sure that you're feeling a loss. When the time is right, you'll meet someone else, just don't get involved with someone who's involved. LOL

 

[snoozan]

I have to admit,the only innocent in this situation is the woman that was cheated on. In the grand scheme of things, Claire, you got off easy. You already said that there was never a chance of you getting emotionally involved-- this was only someone to fuck. Imagine being this young woman-- naieve, trusting, and committed to a relationship she hopes will lead to marriage and she finds out that her intended is cheating on her. Her world is completely crushed. Completely. I feel terrible for her.

I agree that the biggest jerk in this situation is they guy-- and hopefully she'll get rid of him because he obviously doesn't treat sex and relationships the same way she does, and wants him to. He's a complete pig, in my opinion.

However, you're old enough to know better than to get involved in this situation. No, you don't have any allegience to her personally, but it's one of those situations where getting involved makes you culpable. Yes, he probably would have gone elsewhere, but that doesn't make it okay that you were the person he cheated with. If anything, stay out of this shit because someone willing to lie, cheat, and deceive isn't worth your time. Even in a fuckbuddy you deserve an honest, decent guy.

It's like the "Possible Desperate Housewife" situation thread. Most everyone that responded told the OP (who was thinking of banging his friend's married mom) not to do it. Because what happened to you is the outcome of situations like this all the time. It could have been a lot worse if she had really gone psycho. Seeing that her life was just turned upside down and fucked up, I can't blame her for going psycho. Still, the bulk, but not all, of the ire should be directed at the boyfriend.

 

[B_big dirigible]

Oh, boo hoo, it's so sad that the guy you were actively cheating with decided to STOP LYING for once... boo fucking hoo..

"Steve" seems to have been lying to and cheating on the "other woman". It doesn't follow from that that CT was lying to or cheating on anybody. You can only cheat by violating some sort of agreement. What agreement did she have with the other woman?

The other woman, being "that kind of girl" (no crime, certainly - it has its merits), doubtless believed that she had some sort of exclusivity. It's debatable whether that belief was reasonable or not. But her beef is solely with the guy who didn't comply with that belief.

But enough of this persiflage. What I want to know is, did local property values increase after the show?

 

[LeeEJ]

Imagine being this young woman-- naieve, trusting, and committed to a relationship she hopes will lead to marriage and she finds out that her intended is cheating on her. Her world is completely crushed. Completely. I feel terrible for her.

Yeah, exactly.

I'll say it: Claire, you suck. You knew this was happening in his life, and you kept up with it. You even made fun of her. You're a fucking asshole, too.

I fully respect people I don't know until they give me a reason to not respect them. You now have no respect from me. I hope something like this is a fucking reality check and that you start treating others -- and yourself -- with some honesty and respect of your own.

/end blunt mode

 

[LeeEJ]

"Steve" seems to have been lying to and cheating on the "other woman". It doesn't follow from that that CT was lying to or cheating on anybody. You can only cheat by violating some sort of agreement. What agreement did she have with the other woman?

She didn't need an "agreement" with the other woman. She knew that she was helping him cheat on her.

When CT met him, she could have said, "No, I'm not going to help you cheat on her, you sack of filth," but that's not what she did. Instead, CT chose to fuck a person who was already in a committed relationship.

It takes two people (at least) to cheat. CT is absolutely NOT in the clear.

 

[Lex]

...
But enough of this persiflage. What I want to know is, did local property values increase after the show?

Not if Claire lives in a neighborhood with a majority of gay men...

 

[ClaireTalon]

But enough of this persiflage. What I want to know is, did local property values increase after the show?

It would have decreased if she had had a gun with her and had used it, but she hasn't. However, there's still the bruise at my jawline that could decrease my property value, but I can overpaint that.

Lee, unlike my usual habits, I won't tell you to go piss up a rope. You're right, my asshole sides were clearly dominating my better facettes in this affair, and if you lay a load of shit on me, that's justified.

However, what Steve still has to learn is that honesty isn't always the best way out of a relationship triangle. If he had told me that he wouldn't want to go further, and be only with his g/f from now on, I surely wouldn't have stalked him. He could have become happy with his girl, she wouldn't even have guessed at this little secret. But he has screwed that possibility. If she would have attacked him as hard as she's attacked me, I hope he'll think about this.

 

[Lordpendragon]

Sorry to use you as the lab rat Claire.

Can I make an alternative point? Steve's mistake was not to deal with the no sex situation with the GF. Let's be real, I have been a horny twenty something guy, personally I wouldn't have stayed with her, but whatever we all have different attitudes. They are clearly incompatible on this issue.

He could have dumped her, but he didn't, he had a mutually satisfying arrangement with a hot older woman who wasn't going to interfere with the GF in the longer term. He fucked up character wise when it went wrong.

Statistically now the majority of people cheat - you may not like it, but they are now the immoral majority. Life is a grey zone.

 

[HazelGod]

However, what Steve still has to learn is that honesty isn't always the best way out of a relationship triangle.

The truth of this just cannot be overstated.

When infidelity is involved and the cheater decides to "come clean," this is not a noble act of contrition executed selflessly for the benefit of enlightening all parties to the truth. It's an act of absolute cowardice, perpetrated by a gutless pansy who can no longer stomach the guilty conscience haunting him over his indiscretions.

If you as a cheater truly desire to stop philandering and make the best of your committed relationship, then you owe it to the both of you to keep your dick (or pussy) in your pants and carry your dirty little secret to your grave. If you cannot live without absolution, then save it for your priest or therapist...don't destroy an innocent's illusion of security just for the sake of your own guilt.

 

[Lordpendragon]

Wise words Hazel. Do you have the expression "You make your bed you lie in it"?

He dropped you in the shit Claire - may be you should give him a straight left with right cross hook.

 

[snoozan]

Sorry to use you as the lab rat Claire.

Can I make an alternative point? Steve's mistake was not to deal with the no sex situation with the GF. Let's be real, I have been a horny twenty something guy, personally I wouldn't have stayed with her, but whatever we all have different attitudes. They are clearly incompatible on this issue.

He could have dumped her, but he didn't, he had a mutually satisfying arrangement with a hot older woman who wasn't going to interfere with the GF in the longer term. He fucked up character wise when it went wrong.

Statistically now the majority of people cheat - you may not like it, but they are now the immoral majority. Life is a grey zone.

Your posts always make me think about situations a little differently, and this is definitely one of them. To my detriment, I tend to see things too much in black and white and not enough in the gray zone. In the longer view, it's probably better for her that she's not stuck with this guy (assuming she dumps him), and he's probably better off screwing himself purple until he gets it out of his system, if ever.

I was in Claire's position in college with a guy that had a "nice" girlfriend and me (the crazy freaky fun chick) on the side. I wasn't the only one he was messing around with on the side. Honestly, at the time, I felt bad for her because she was very sweet, but I also didn't get how she didn't know. Eventually she found out and I think they got married anyway, which is sad, because unless he really changed, he's probably still screwing anything that moves.

Infidelity is in the majority, as you said, but having been involed with all the hurt and ugliness it can create even among the best intended, decent people, it's still something for a lot of us that we would be better off avoiding. When I stupidly cheated on my husband, it really destroyed him, and even though I didn't tell him, he knew. I feel terrible about it still, and hope that I don't do it again. He's too good a person to be hurt like that again.

I'm rambling. As usual.

 

[Lordpendragon]

I suppose I wish that sexual exclusivity wasn't considered the be all and end all of committment. I can think of a lot worse things that you can do to a partner than have sex with someone else.

I can also think of several circumstances where it is positively helpful to get needs either out of your system or met by someone else if your partner can not or does not wish to satisfy them. I would also consider this a level of honesty about yourself. And I don't think that you should always discuss this with your partner, perhaps they would just rather not know about a part of you or your needs that they don't like. I do think that you can cheat with honourable motives, most probably don't though. Let's say for example that I loved sucking cock, it wouldn't make me a worse partner would it, if I kept this a secret from a female partner because I thought that it would destroy our relationship - I don't know these things are very difficult.

For all my anti christian church ramblings, I do like some of the advice that they give - "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone", comes to mind.

I will also admit that when I first read Claire's post, it did cross my mind if he was actually cheating at all, because he was doing something that wasn't part of their relationship. People don't mind if their other half goes to the ball game without them. Personally I would find the deal, "I am not going to satisfy your sexual needs, but then no one else is either" unreasonable.

You can make sex sacred if you like, but I think it can be a lot of things between that and completely recreational - let each decide.

I still think Claire should land one or two on him though if he did drop her in it. But maybe she should just rise above it.

 

[Principessa]

Very well said! I wish I had been able to enunciate my thoughts as clearly. Sometimes my passions over rule my head and that is just not possible.:redface:

The truth of this just cannot be overstated.

When infidelity is involved and the cheater decides to "come clean," this is not a noble act of contrition executed selflessly for the benefit of enlightening all parties to the truth. It's an act of absolute cowardice, perpetrated by a gutless pansy who can no longer stomach the guilty conscience haunting him over his indiscretions.

If you as a cheater truly desire to stop philandering and make the best of your committed relationship, then you owe it to the both of you to keep your dick (or pussy) in your pants and carry your dirty little secret to your grave. If you cannot live without absolution, then save it for your priest or therapist...don't destroy an innocent's illusion of security just for the sake of your own guilt.

 

[Lex]

The truth of this just cannot be overstated.

When infidelity is involved and the cheater decides to "come clean," this is not a noble act of contrition executed selflessly for the benefit of enlightening all parties to the truth. It's an act of absolute cowardice, perpetrated by a gutless pansy who can no longer stomach the guilty conscience haunting him over his indiscretions.

If you as a cheater truly desire to stop philandering and make the best of your committed relationship, then you owe it to the both of you to keep your dick (or pussy) in your pants and carry your dirty little secret to your grave. If you cannot live without absolution, then save it for your priest or therapist...don't destroy an innocent's illusion of security just for the sake of your own guilt.

Well said. You should not do anything you will feel guilty about. Period.

 

[naughty]

Well said. You should not do anything you will feel guilty about. Period.

What if your conscience has vacated the premises?

 

[Lex]

What if your conscience has vacated the premises?

I don't buy into guilt. It's the most useless of all emotions. Self-destructive, too. I do what I want to do and live with my choices. I take time to make sure that my choices are well considered ones--you know how we Libras like to balance and weigh things. Why should I feel bad about a choice I made that makes me happy? Why make that choice if it does not serve me in some way?

Family tries to make me feel guilty all the time--does not work because I know that I am comfortable with my choices before they even hear them (not coming to the BBQ where they argue, for example). It is they who have discomfort with my choices.

 

[swordfishME]

Ok I have a different opnion than most on the board

Everyone has a right to make a decision on wether they want to have sex or save themselves for marriage of whatever; however if GF decided that she wanted to wait she had no right to force celibacy on her boyfriend; if he did not want to be celibite. I personally feel that the GF should have been thankful to the OP because she only wanted a fuck buddy; most women want relationships and if the OP wanted a relationship the GF would have been out on her frigid, self-righteous ass a long time ago.

 

[ClaireTalon]

I suppose I wish that sexual exclusivity wasn't considered the be all and end all of committment. I can think of a lot worse things that you can do to a partner than have sex with someone else.

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I will also admit that when I first read Claire's post, it did cross my mind if he was actually cheating at all, because he was doing something that wasn't part of their relationship. People don't mind if their other half goes to the ball game without them. Personally I would find the deal, "I am not going to satisfy your sexual needs, but then no one else is either" unreasonable.

<.>

I still think Claire should land one or two on him though if he did drop her in it. But maybe she should just rise above it.

LOL, I don't think you can compare sex with ball games, foot, base or basket. It is an important part of the relationship, and even women who deny it to their partner obviously care about it. I have decided to rise above it and shine, after the small setback I experienced. Miss Gear-up-and-locked hasn't come after me since the run in , and I have told Steve that it's over.

Still, I don't regret our fling. The sex has been great 9 out of 10 times. But an important factor, for which I was thinking about dropping Steve sooner or later, was my slowly blooming relationship with Frank (for which I've started taking language classes). I felt bad sleeping with another man after our last christmas date.