I disagree, because the ramifications of "cheating" are based on your moral code. If someone doesn't share your moral code, then the word cheating does not have the same connotation in a sexual context.
There are still islands and other places where it is normal (perfectly moral) for wives to sleep with visitors. The husbands don't get jealous, they just don't have a culture of sexual monogamy and I can think of very good arguments why that is beneficial to the human psyche.
The issue is doing something without consent, either explicit or implied. I will also argue that an acceptance f your type of cheating can be implied. I have a friend whose cousin's husband was cheating behind her back. She knew perfectly well, but her attitude rather sadly was at least it keeps him from pestering me.
I still find it a dubious position to demand abstinence. Is oral and manual OK? but penetration a big no no? It doesn't make sense to me in a human sexual context.
I do see what you are saying, I really do. But your example is arbitrary. Obviously, in such a culture as you describe, the partners have already consented to each other that the wife will entertain their visitors sexually. There can be no cheating, no violation and no wrongdoing in not being monogamous unless the partners have agreed to a monogamous relationship.
In my case, we have expressly agreed to both be completely monogamous. We do not have any sexual contact at all. My partner is completely damaged in that department, and completely emotionally unable to respond to me sexually at this time. We tried for a while, but the panic attacks got worse, and now we don't try anymore.
When we got together, we clearly defined for each other what we wanted from each other over the span of a few days and nights. Staying together means that we have accepted each others terms and conditions. And I am commited to my promises. This is what commitment means! It means I honor my word, even when it hurts, even when it's frustrating, even when it feels unfair, even when the alternatives are easier. It means I don't abandon my promises because it's no longer convenient to keep them. It means I turn to my friends for support, my creator for support and continue to keep my word as best I can.
That's something simple I learned in kindergarten. Keep your word. It just doesn't get much simpler than that. That's the only morality I'm talking about. I don't think monogamy is the only moral way to have relations. I never even implied that that was my view.
