The Bachelor Party
Max and his friends all gathered the night before the wedding in a lavish suite at a posh hotel closest to the ceremony’s venue. Among the close-knit group of friends celebrating with Max his last night of bachelorhood were the very popular and hilarious DC drag comic duo known as Hillary Clitoris and Georgias Bush. As well as, Max’s besties who coincidentally were also drag queens and dressed in full drag regalia, his best man, Donna Tramp and her still blushing bride, Melanoma Tramp. Along with Max’s oldest and dearest friend known around the drag circuit as ‘The First Lady’, Miss Mia Obama.
Max was happy and honored that they would put their political opinions and their general distaste for Tony aside and be there for him on the most important occasion of his life regardless of anything they loved Max and Max loved them. And, Predictably, the crates of Crystal were being hauled into the suite where of course much to Max surprise and dismay a bachelor party ensued.
The party was in full swing and although Max had said he preferred a small gathering instead, he had to admit that he was having a great time. There was laughter, singing, dancing, drinking and carousing. The drag queens all took turns lip-syncing to a laundry-list of Max’s favorite songs and they took turns performing little skits for Max.
Suddenly, a knock at the door revealed an anticipated guest (or guests) that would take the party to a whole new level. Standing at the door packing huge double D sized breast cups filled with powdery white party favors was none other than the queen of all queens. The popular DC drag queen (and to Max’s surprise an apparent drag-dealer to boot) The incomparable Nancy Ragin’ who was invited to perform her new club remix hit song entitled, ‘Just Say Yes!’ At the sight of Nancy Ragin’ everyone shrieked in delight and screamed out in gleeful unison, ‘JUST SAY YESSS! MAMMA!’As fingers snapped wildly in the air in drag homage. Max was happy to meet her and thrilled to have her perform at his party.
Along with Nancy Ragin’ was another one of Max’s surprises of the evening. Another popular DC personality well-known in the DC nightclub underworld for his ‘rent-boy’ reputation and a list of satisfied customers as long as his member. The stripper, go-go boy, escort from Mexico and illegal immigrant known as Donkeyboi Pepe.
After Hillary Clitoris’ and Georgias Bush hilarious side-splitting comedy show, Max started to cringe at the thought of what was next. And cringe he would, as the stripper music was on, and Max was dragged to the center of the room and forced in a chair, while Donkeyboi cranked-up the sound of his speakers higher and chose the song ‘Anaconda’ to begin his seductive dance. He dry-humped, grinding and teasing Max while the queens howled like starving wolves in heat, begging him to strip, until Donkeyboi Pepe finally exposed the reason for his legendary name, and wagged his enormous manhood inches from Max’s mortified face.
A short while after, the party died down, and all but Max’s dearest friends were left. The ones that remained Max considered his drag-sisters. Although, Tony and Max had a large and diverse group of friends, Max preferred the company of his drag-sisters most. Max was always overly concerned and preoccupied about what people thought, and so being with them provided him with a safe place to be himself and feel free.
Anecdotes and Stories
‘Time for some serious Kiki and T’ (i.e. girl talk) Miss Mia Obama said as if to call a meeting to order. This was the part of the night Max was looking forward to most. He deeply anticipating his life with his soon-to-be husband, so he welcomed stories of married gay couples. They all took turns either with personal stories or of gossip of unhappily married couples and bitter divorces. Or, worse, as the conversation deteriorated quickly into cheating spouses, open relationships, thrupples, and escorts to spice-up the marital bed. The unnerving conversation gave Max pause to question his decision to marry.
He tried to shrug off the doubts that began introducing themselves in his mind by convincingly saying that although those sad situations may befall the lives of other gay couples, he felt confident that they wouldn’t befall Tony and him.
Melanoma Tramp in an attempt to change the subject began to recall a story out loud about an article she read of a bride who minutes before the wedding discovered her fiancee was cheating and had been the entire length of time of their engagement. Donna Tramp interjected quickly in hopes that the distraction of her interruption could block her words from entering Max’s ears. However, they did, and Max’s mood changed from smidgen of doubt, to panic mode. He was entering the typical and commonly known affliction of cold feet.
Wedding Jitters
Suddenly, Max was up on his feet distressed and walking out of the room deep in thought and wondering what he was about to do. He realized as the doubts started to creep-in that perhaps marriage was not as appealing to him as the wedding.
His friends understood the anxiety was due to cold feet, especially his best man, Donna Tramp, who also had a bout of the cold feet fears just hours before her wedding to Melanoma.
So, she followed him to the privacy of the next room to give him some sound advice. Donna began to speak about the blessings of marriage and explained to Max how true love was hard to find especially in today’s world. Then reasoned with Max by saying, ‘honey a man like Tony is hard to find. Someone that loves you enough to propose at Outback? Engagement ring in a blooming onion? While serenaded by a chorus of waiters, ‘For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow?’ Honey he is a keeper baby! You snatch him up before another thirsty tacky queen beats you to it! And, hopefully, you’ll be together forever or until his sweet untimely tragic death and a life insurance payout do you part!’ They both laughed at her words dripping with sarcasm and disdain for Tony.
Max and his friends all gathered the night before the wedding in a lavish suite at a posh hotel closest to the ceremony’s venue. Among the close-knit group of friends celebrating with Max his last night of bachelorhood were the very popular and hilarious DC drag comic duo known as Hillary Clitoris and Georgias Bush. As well as, Max’s besties who coincidentally were also drag queens and dressed in full drag regalia, his best man, Donna Tramp and her still blushing bride, Melanoma Tramp. Along with Max’s oldest and dearest friend known around the drag circuit as ‘The First Lady’, Miss Mia Obama.
Max was happy and honored that they would put their political opinions and their general distaste for Tony aside and be there for him on the most important occasion of his life regardless of anything they loved Max and Max loved them. And, Predictably, the crates of Crystal were being hauled into the suite where of course much to Max surprise and dismay a bachelor party ensued.
The party was in full swing and although Max had said he preferred a small gathering instead, he had to admit that he was having a great time. There was laughter, singing, dancing, drinking and carousing. The drag queens all took turns lip-syncing to a laundry-list of Max’s favorite songs and they took turns performing little skits for Max.
Suddenly, a knock at the door revealed an anticipated guest (or guests) that would take the party to a whole new level. Standing at the door packing huge double D sized breast cups filled with powdery white party favors was none other than the queen of all queens. The popular DC drag queen (and to Max’s surprise an apparent drag-dealer to boot) The incomparable Nancy Ragin’ who was invited to perform her new club remix hit song entitled, ‘Just Say Yes!’ At the sight of Nancy Ragin’ everyone shrieked in delight and screamed out in gleeful unison, ‘JUST SAY YESSS! MAMMA!’As fingers snapped wildly in the air in drag homage. Max was happy to meet her and thrilled to have her perform at his party.
Along with Nancy Ragin’ was another one of Max’s surprises of the evening. Another popular DC personality well-known in the DC nightclub underworld for his ‘rent-boy’ reputation and a list of satisfied customers as long as his member. The stripper, go-go boy, escort from Mexico and illegal immigrant known as Donkeyboi Pepe.
After Hillary Clitoris’ and Georgias Bush hilarious side-splitting comedy show, Max started to cringe at the thought of what was next. And cringe he would, as the stripper music was on, and Max was dragged to the center of the room and forced in a chair, while Donkeyboi cranked-up the sound of his speakers higher and chose the song ‘Anaconda’ to begin his seductive dance. He dry-humped, grinding and teasing Max while the queens howled like starving wolves in heat, begging him to strip, until Donkeyboi Pepe finally exposed the reason for his legendary name, and wagged his enormous manhood inches from Max’s mortified face.
A short while after, the party died down, and all but Max’s dearest friends were left. The ones that remained Max considered his drag-sisters. Although, Tony and Max had a large and diverse group of friends, Max preferred the company of his drag-sisters most. Max was always overly concerned and preoccupied about what people thought, and so being with them provided him with a safe place to be himself and feel free.
Anecdotes and Stories
‘Time for some serious Kiki and T’ (i.e. girl talk) Miss Mia Obama said as if to call a meeting to order. This was the part of the night Max was looking forward to most. He deeply anticipating his life with his soon-to-be husband, so he welcomed stories of married gay couples. They all took turns either with personal stories or of gossip of unhappily married couples and bitter divorces. Or, worse, as the conversation deteriorated quickly into cheating spouses, open relationships, thrupples, and escorts to spice-up the marital bed. The unnerving conversation gave Max pause to question his decision to marry.
He tried to shrug off the doubts that began introducing themselves in his mind by convincingly saying that although those sad situations may befall the lives of other gay couples, he felt confident that they wouldn’t befall Tony and him.
Melanoma Tramp in an attempt to change the subject began to recall a story out loud about an article she read of a bride who minutes before the wedding discovered her fiancee was cheating and had been the entire length of time of their engagement. Donna Tramp interjected quickly in hopes that the distraction of her interruption could block her words from entering Max’s ears. However, they did, and Max’s mood changed from smidgen of doubt, to panic mode. He was entering the typical and commonly known affliction of cold feet.
Wedding Jitters
Suddenly, Max was up on his feet distressed and walking out of the room deep in thought and wondering what he was about to do. He realized as the doubts started to creep-in that perhaps marriage was not as appealing to him as the wedding.
His friends understood the anxiety was due to cold feet, especially his best man, Donna Tramp, who also had a bout of the cold feet fears just hours before her wedding to Melanoma.
So, she followed him to the privacy of the next room to give him some sound advice. Donna began to speak about the blessings of marriage and explained to Max how true love was hard to find especially in today’s world. Then reasoned with Max by saying, ‘honey a man like Tony is hard to find. Someone that loves you enough to propose at Outback? Engagement ring in a blooming onion? While serenaded by a chorus of waiters, ‘For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow?’ Honey he is a keeper baby! You snatch him up before another thirsty tacky queen beats you to it! And, hopefully, you’ll be together forever or until his sweet untimely tragic death and a life insurance payout do you part!’ They both laughed at her words dripping with sarcasm and disdain for Tony.
