The Good Life

Discussion in 'Fictitious Stories' started by OzzyMan, Nov 6, 2010.

  1. OzzyMan

    OzzyMan New Member

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    Looking above the New York skyline through a wall sized window, Veronica was a goddess. Standing about 5'8, with silky blonde hair, 32D breasts and a thin waist, she made many heads turn. Behind her, in the bed, a man murmured in his sleep and rolled over. Though last night had been passionate and wild, Veronica often felt something was missing from her sexual experiences.

    Often mistaken as a mindless bimbo, men were taken back by her cool intellect and startling blue eyes. In bed she made sure she got what she wanted but rarely orgasmed and often left partners feeling inadequate. At the age of 28 she had had many sexual encounters but never a serious relationship until recently. Veronica was under no illusions that she would ever fall in love with this man, but he doted upon her and idolized her and she was grateful for his attention.

    A rustling of the sheets and his footfalls alerted her to the fact that, James, the man in the bed was awake. At 52, James was still in good shape, exercising regularly and eating well. Having earned his fortune in real estate, he now owned many stylish and expensive homes around America. He stood over 6" tall, handsome with dark hair going grey. Most importantly in his mind was his 8" long member that swung between his legs. Growing to an impressive 9.5" when hard, he sent women into ecstasy in the bedroom.

    He walked over to Veronica and ran his large hands over her toned, smooth belly and up onto her impressive breasts. She moaned slightly as he did so, and he took this as a sign to continue. He kissed the back of her neck and he made his way back down her chest with one hand, using his other to flip upwards so it was resting between his abs and in between her ass. Then he reached around and began to play with her clit, using his fingers to gently massage it. Veronica reached her arm around her head to grab the back of his skull and push it harder against her. His cock had now began to stiffen and she brought her other hand round to stroke it, moaning in pleasure as he expertly tickled her clit while deftly slid his fingers into her wet pussy. She gently rubbed his now engorged dick and he responded by increasing the tempo of his massage.

    Feeling that she was ready, James planted his hand on her tight, round ass and pulled her open as he slowly inserted himself into her from behind. She instantly responded by gasping and leaning forward, placing her hands against the glass of the window and arching her back so her ass stuck out. He began to thrust into her soft, warm pussy while reaching round to fondle her large tits, with their perfect, small nipples. He began a rhythm of long, slow strokes into her tight, wanting pussy causing her to moan louder than ever. He gradually increased his speed, slamming into her with more force.

    Veronica loved the feeling of James giant cock slamming into her tight, pink place. His gentle hands tweaked her nipples with such tenderness, and his masculine odor heightened her pleasure and lust. She began to sense that he was ready to finished by his increased speed and deep grunts.After about 10 minutes, he grabbed her by her tiny waist, as he slammed deep and hard into pussy. She felt him buck as he came, the feeling of hot cum filling her already wet pussy. He gradually eased himself out, spent, and gave her a kiss on the back before retreating for the shower.

    NOTE: Thanks for reading. I'm looking for constructive feedback, as well as any grammar or spelling errors I made to be pointed out so I can correct them. I do plan to continue writing if this piece is successful.
     
    #1 OzzyMan, Nov 6, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2010
  2. Woody110

    Woody110 Active Member

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    I really like your writing style - it's clean and flows well. The only part that didn't work for me is the sentence about James's other hand between their bodies - maybe rework it and make it clearer? And perhaps vary the paragraph sizes a little to make the whole thing more approachable.

    Don't be afraid to add more detail to the sex as well - your readers won't object to graphic descriptions, especially well written ones!
     
  3. blutrane

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    And what if it's not successful? This isn't a story yet. It's really more of a scene. It's well written and hot for sure, but your work is far from done. You've established a couple waking up and fucking. None of the sex is built from anything or towards anything. Your grammar, spelling, and punctuation are all fine. It's just that there's nothing to look forward to yet.

    Don't just give up if people don't like what you've written. You haven't even done enough yet to constitute giving up. I don't like this symptom I'm seeing everywhere now where people are so averse to risk in creative work. That's NOT a good thing. Don't just write an intro and ask everyone else whether it's worth continuing. You can't allow what you do to be defined by every little comment you get. Just write, and give us something that will leave us wanting more!
     
  4. OzzyMan

    OzzyMan New Member

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    Though James took care of all Veronica's financial needs, she still attended a local university as a means to start her own career. She was currently studying journalism and often visited a nearby bar for lunch. Veronica often ate alone since she made few friends; not because was unfriendly but her looks and confidence often made other women jealous and men drooling idiots. As she walked through the door people turned to check her out, men with desire in their eyes, women with envy. Standing there wearing figure-hugging jeans and a tight white blouse, Veronica’s curves were had to miss. Her ass bounced as she crossed the room and she felt all eyes watching her and even heard a girlfriend scold her partner for gawking. Veronica greeted the barman, Max, with a friendly smile and ordered her usual of a sandwich and Coke and made her way over to a table in the corner so she was away from other people. After she sat down talked began to resume after the hush that had descended when she had made her entry.

    She eyed the barman Max while she waited for her meal. A large, bald man, Max owned the bar and was known for his low prices, honesty and friendliness. Though she found no attraction to him, Veronica considered him a friend and often came by just to chat. He was one of the few men she met her didn’t became enraptured in her looks and charms and was a good listener. With a quick glance around the room, Veronica noticed that the usual waiter, Shelly, wasn’t working and was wondering who was covering her shift when the answer arrived right in front of her. A young man about her age, with clear blue eyes and light brown hair stepped up to her table and delivered her order.

    “Hi,” he said “I’m Tom. I’m covering for Shelly today.”
    “Nice to meet you Tom, I’m Veronica” she replied, eyeing his muscled physique through his tight shirt. “How do you know Max?”
    “Oh, he’s my uncle and he offered me the job while Shelly’s away.” Tom replied with a cheeky smile on his face, showing his perfect white teeth.
    Rarely did Veronica find her composure slip but she was finding it very hard to maintain eye contact with this handsome stranger. ‘If only I knew what he was packing downstairs she thought to herself’.
    “I’ll catch ya round Veronica” he said as he made his way back to the kitchen. Veronica smiled and waved as he departed, and began on her meal. While she ate, she watched him as he moved around the room delivering orders. Annoyingly, his apron concealed his crotch so he couldn’t make out an outline in his pants. By purposefully eating slow, she was one of the last customers after the lunch hour was over and kept delaying eating until finally Tom approached her and asked “Are you done?”
    “Yeah, I am, it was great. I really enjoy stuffing my mouth!” Veronica was shocked by her boldness but something in this young man brought it out in her. He still had on his confident smile and as he reached across to grab her plate, his crotch brushed against her shoulder. Feeling slutty, Veronica reached out and ran her hand down his thigh. She gasped at what she felt. His bulge ran to just above his knee and was easily thicker than her wrist. She gave it a light squeeze and felt herself blush as he gave her a wink.

    She quickly stood up, thanked him for the meal, waved at Max, and made her way down the back corridor, making sure to shake her ass as she walked. She felt Tom following her and quietly slipped into a room filled with the various foods and drinks. Tom entered after her and she practically threw herself at him, reaching up and pulling him down into a passionate kiss. She felt the hard muscles of his back as she rubbed her hands against him and he responded by grabbing her small firm ass and pulling her closer to him. Veronica could barely control herself as she dropped to her knees and began fumbling with his jeans buckle as he ripped off his shirt and apron exposing his toned chest. When she finally managed to pull down his jeans and almost tear of his boxers, she was rewarded with the sight of the biggest dick she’d ever seen. It had to be about 10.5 inches long soft and was much thicker than James’ too. Tom wore a cocky smile when looked up at him and she began to stroke his shaft using both hands to wrap around. She started sliding her hands up and down and soon his massive cock began to stiffen, getting larger still. When it seemed he was finally done growing, Veronica was in awe.
    “How big is it?” she whispered, staring at it as it swayed in front of her.
    “13 inches” Tom replied proudly and grabbed his orange sized balls.

    Tentatively, Veronica began to take his giant tool into her small mouth. She was struggling to fit the head in, when Tom suddenly grabbed the back of her head and shoved his cock down her throat. She gave a muffled scream as she felt herself start choking. He slowly pulled it back out of her mouth and she took an enormous breath before she opened wide for another turn. He kept slamming her mouth for about five minutes, groaning and encouraging Veronica as he did so. Veronica herself was dripping wet and feeling horny like she had never been before.
    Finally, she began to get control of herself again and decided to show her power over him. Breaking away from his enormous, now wet dick she moved away and put her back to him and began taking of her jeans. She made sure to wriggle her ass and hips as much as possible as she slowly lowered her jeans, exposing her sexy tight ass and small black panties. Turning back around to face Tom, she tore off her blouse and undid her bra, revealing giant, perky boobs. Tom had begun stroking his cock as he watched her little show, and now moved forward to lick her pussy.
     
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