The Guide to a REAL Nice Guy

[petite]

I don't think your generalities always work.

TheBF and I talked on the phone every day for 1-3 hours for a month before our first date. I think we talked ~120 hours! It was great! I felt like I knew him so well by the time we went on our first date I didn't feel like I needed to get to know him any better, so we made out for about 5 hours and I slept with him, then we woke up the next morning and we had sex again a few times, then we ate, then we had sex again... we just stayed in bed for the entire weekend. It was wonderful.

If we hadn't talked on the phone I wouldn't have had sex with him for a very long time. If we had to get to know one another only on our dates, then he would have felt like a stranger to me that weekend. It would have been too soon for me.

And I don't think it's so bad to open up a little. I understand what you're talking about when you say that you shouldn't let the conversations get too negative or too depressing. You don't want your own life to sound like a burden to someone else, but it's nice to be let into one's life a little. You don't want to be so lighthearted that she never feels like she's getting the real you or learning anything real about your life. There's a balance there that you have to keep. I don't know why you included "childhood" with "insecurities" and "drama." There's nothing wrong with talking about your childhood. It can be really endearing.

 

[sbat]

oh yeah see the phone part is really about the male taking control. by telling her connotatively: "hey, we should stop talking on the phone, because thats what a girl wants to do, not a guy. and we should do things we both want to do."

And i completely agree with your planning analysis. I think the direction i'm pointing at is that many guys as time wears on 5 months...7 months? They get too comfortable. Sure you can spend time watching a movie in your house, but eventually it gets old. And a guy cannot hope that girl will be down to stay with you in a LTR, if you plan on having boring lifestyle.

So yes with planning eventually is refine spontaneity. Basically now I make up a date as i go, but ya know like everything. baby steps!

I get the feeling this is a guide for dating a stupid, passive, damsel-in-distress type of girl. I've dated a few alpha females who didn't like to talk much on the phone, were happy with hanging out at a nice lounge bar with good music and spending the rest of the evening in the sack, who made suggestions about things to do and took part in the planning, who hated the romantic shit.

I've also been on dates that would have been utter shite - venue sucked, music sucked, the people there sucked. But I was into her and she was into me, so the rest of the universe was irrelevant.

Also, if you genuinely have something to say - if you think interesting, creative thoughts, if you can flirt, you don't need to put so much effort into planning the date that will make her fall in love with you.

 

[closetbi]

Morals of a nice guy have often prevented the nice guy from getting his dick wet.

 

[Tristain1675]

Dude I stopped reading this as soon as I saw "Plan everything"
That's a waste of time. Nothing ever goes according to plan.

 

[Wish-4-8]

Morals of a nice guy have often prevented the nice guy from getting his dick wet.

Well, lets define what that is, since Im the one who said it.

The "morals" basically means what your intentions are AFTER sex. If you are a pump' em and dump' em guy, then you are still being the jerk. The confidence of the jerk gets you to bed. How you behave after is what makes you different, or, a nice guy.

 

[earllogjam]

Wow, the mental contortions and hoops straight guys put themselves through just to get some poon-tang. "I will get the girl, I am not nice." "I am NOT nice."

 

[herosol]

I don't think your generalities always work.

TheBF and I talked on the phone every day for 1-3 hours for a month before our first date. I think we talked ~120 hours! It was great! I felt like I knew him so well by the time we went on our first date I didn't feel like I needed to get to know him any better, so we made out for about 5 hours and I slept with him, then we woke up the next morning and we had sex again a few times, then we ate, then we had sex again... we just stayed in bed for the entire weekend. It was wonderful.

If we hadn't talked on the phone I wouldn't have had sex with him for a very long time. If we had to get to know one another only on our dates, then he would have felt like a stranger to me that weekend. It would have been too soon for me.

And I don't think it's so bad to open up a little. I understand what you're talking about when you say that you shouldn't let the conversations get too negative or too depressing. You don't want your own life to sound like a burden to someone else, but it's nice to be let into one's life a little. You don't want to be so lighthearted that she never feels like she's getting the real you or learning anything real about your life. There's a balance there that you have to keep. I don't know why you included "childhood" with "insecurities" and "drama." There's nothing wrong with talking about your childhood. It can be really endearing.

hmm yes, i can see that alot of my guide generalizes the situations, which in fact makes it even shorter than what it could be. so let's talk.

i think my phone references the long run of a relationship. Sure i've had my long conversations with my girlfriend along the road, I guess what i'm saying is that it shouldn't become a habit unless it's long distance. In the sense don't make it daily phone conversations (aka "routine"). And ultimately if those 120 hours are filled with substance, than sure it's fine. But sometimes people run out of things to say, and just stay on the line, and to be honest i've seen people get into fights.

And than in terms of childhood and insecurities. I would say it's more so the more and more you talk about them constantly. You'll run out. Basically from a guy's perspective many dudes just move TOO fast. They tell the girl just way too much, that eventually down the road, they don't have much to say.

Instead, if the guy takes it slow. A few dates at a time, and also because a person is ever-growing-changing. He can share a little bit of himself to his girl little by little. Enough of an amount to spark huge interest and more so entice curiosity.

 

[sbat]

hmm yes, i can see that alot of my guide generalizes the situations, which in fact makes it even shorter than what it could be. so let's talk.

i think my phone references the long run of a relationship. Sure i've had my long conversations with my girlfriend along the road, I guess what i'm saying is that it shouldn't become a habit unless it's long distance. In the sense don't make it daily phone conversations (aka "routine"). And ultimately if those 120 hours are filled with substance, than sure it's fine. But sometimes people run out of things to say, and just stay on the line, and to be honest i've seen people get into fights.

And than in terms of childhood and insecurities. I would say it's more so the more and more you talk about them constantly. You'll run out. Basically from a guy's perspective many dudes just move TOO fast. They tell the girl just way too much, that eventually down the road, they don't have much to say.

Instead, if the guy takes it slow. A few dates at a time, and also because a person is ever-growing-changing. He can share a little bit of himself to his girl little by little. Enough of an amount to spark huge interest and more so entice curiosity.

Or maybe if he stopped fucking around and developed some sexual chemistry, and then kept it up. There's really no formula for getting a girl to want to fuck you and no one else. Or if there is, your guide ain't it.

 

[MisterVIP]

It seems like this original post is just a rewording of that "David D'Angelo" stuff from Double Your Dating guides. It even has the CAPITALIZED words every so often for EFFECT.

 

[Bbucko]

Now Bucko, be nice. :smile:

Fuck off, asshole :biggrin1:

what an asshole.

C'est moi. Sue me, cunt.

You are very, very nice. But that's not the best thing which could be said of you. Not by a long-shot!

Having actually met me, I think you get it, sweetheart.

But I still think that "nice" is not much of a compliment.

 

[maxcok]

. . . "nice guy" is not the antonym of "asshole" . . .
If the best thing you could say about me is that I'm "nice", I'd rather hear nothing at all.

Now Bucko, be nice. :smile:

Fuck off, asshole :biggrin1:

I still think that "nice" is not much of a compliment.

You're a nice asshole. :corkysm21: