I don't think your generalities always work.
TheBF and I talked on the phone every day for 1-3 hours for a month before our first date. I think we talked ~120 hours! It was great! I felt like I knew him so well by the time we went on our first date I didn't feel like I needed to get to know him any better, so we made out for about 5 hours and I slept with him, then we woke up the next morning and we had sex again a few times, then we ate, then we had sex again... we just stayed in bed for the entire weekend. It was wonderful.
If we hadn't talked on the phone I wouldn't have had sex with him for a very long time. If we had to get to know one another only on our dates, then he would have felt like a stranger to me that weekend. It would have been too soon for me.
And I don't think it's so bad to open up a little. I understand what you're talking about when you say that you shouldn't let the conversations get too negative or too depressing. You don't want your own life to sound like a burden to someone else, but it's nice to be let into one's life a little. You don't want to be so lighthearted that she never feels like she's getting the real you or learning anything real about your life. There's a balance there that you have to keep. I don't know why you included "childhood" with "insecurities" and "drama." There's nothing wrong with talking about your childhood. It can be really endearing.
TheBF and I talked on the phone every day for 1-3 hours for a month before our first date. I think we talked ~120 hours! It was great! I felt like I knew him so well by the time we went on our first date I didn't feel like I needed to get to know him any better, so we made out for about 5 hours and I slept with him, then we woke up the next morning and we had sex again a few times, then we ate, then we had sex again... we just stayed in bed for the entire weekend. It was wonderful.
If we hadn't talked on the phone I wouldn't have had sex with him for a very long time. If we had to get to know one another only on our dates, then he would have felt like a stranger to me that weekend. It would have been too soon for me.
And I don't think it's so bad to open up a little. I understand what you're talking about when you say that you shouldn't let the conversations get too negative or too depressing. You don't want your own life to sound like a burden to someone else, but it's nice to be let into one's life a little. You don't want to be so lighthearted that she never feels like she's getting the real you or learning anything real about your life. There's a balance there that you have to keep. I don't know why you included "childhood" with "insecurities" and "drama." There's nothing wrong with talking about your childhood. It can be really endearing.
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