rather than a source of mutually agreed upon mutual pleasure... it troubles me. on the one hand, i think some women perpetuate it because it means men will seek their favour and keep on best behaviour in order to acquire sex. but on the other, it creates feelings of resentment. men sometimes feel women who do not put out are holding out and being selfish. some men think women are all, in essence, prostitutes. *ponders* like valentines... commercially/socially it seems to focus on him doing more for her. she just puts out in gratitude.