the idea that sex is a gift that women give to men,

rtg

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Dec 24, 2011
Posts
3,604
Media
1
Likes
9,815
Points
458
Location
Brisbane (Queensland, Australia)
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Female
The fact that women use it to manipulate their men or to make it some kind of 'reward'..this disgusts me also.

I like to tease my bf by saying things like 'maybe I'll reward you later' or things like that...but it's only just really indicating that I want to fuck him pretty bad and getting him to start thinking about it already lol.
 

Drifterwood

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2007
Posts
18,677
Media
0
Likes
2,811
Points
333
Location
Greece
It worries me too, Dolfie. Well, more than that. It smacks of playing games with people and/or using sex for control and I think I have been quite vocal about my reactions to controlling behaviour.
 

ManlyBanisters

Sexy Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2007
Posts
12,253
Media
0
Likes
58
Points
183
I see nothing at all wrong with seeing the sex I give a man as a gift.

A gift is something that I give selflessly and of my own volition.
Sharing my body and my skill is something personal that I give to him that speaks of my desire, my passion and my willingness to pleasure him.

Selflessly implies you get nothing out of it. Other posts you have made on this board over the yeas imply, and indeed directly state, that that is not the case.

I do understand what you are saying, Dragon - but the question is sex, for you, just about giving your 'gift'? Or are you going to be pissed off if he doesn't do anything for you? (I mean anything sexual - I'm not talking installing shelves or polishing your brass fittings.)
 

Deek

Superior Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Posts
74
Media
20
Likes
3,018
Points
553
Location
Nashville (Tennessee, United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
The fact that women use it to manipulate their men or to make it some kind of 'reward'..this disgusts me also.

I like to tease my bf by saying things like 'maybe I'll reward you later' or things like that...but it's only just really indicating that I want to fuck him pretty bad and getting him to start thinking about it already lol.
Whether you know it or not, you're unconsciously using it as a reward to influence your partner. Take for example the topic earlier in the thread of women keeping sex from their partners when they were mad at them. They might not be consciously refusing them sex to make them behave better, but they are definitely doing it unconsciously.

Just think about it logically.
Man likes sex with woman
Woman likes sex with man
Man makes woman mad by exhibiting behavior she does not like
Woman refuses sex because she's mad
Man decides "better not do that again or no sex"

You may not be doing it consciously but by refusing sex you're denying him a very powerful stimuli. Not saying women should give up sex whenever a man wants, but you definitely are influencing behavior by limiting his access to it. Often time punishment like that influences bad behavior, but that's an entirely different topic.
 

Drifterwood

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2007
Posts
18,677
Media
0
Likes
2,811
Points
333
Location
Greece
Whether you know it or not, you're unconsciously using it as a reward to influence your partner. Take for example the topic earlier in the thread of women keeping sex from their partners when they were mad at them. They might not be consciously refusing them sex to make them behave better, but they are definitely doing it unconsciously.

Just think about it logically.
Man likes sex with woman
Woman likes sex with man
Man makes woman mad by exhibiting behavior she does not like
Woman refuses sex because she's mad
Man decides "better not do that again or no sex"

You may not be doing it consciously but by refusing sex you're denying him a very powerful stimuli. Not saying women should give up sex whenever a man wants, but you definitely are influencing behavior by limiting his access to it. Often time punishment like that influences bad behavior, but that's an entirely different topic.

But what do you expect people to do? I won't have sex with somene if they have pissed me off. I'm just not in the mood, I'm not trying to score points back. The choice to modify the behaviour is the other person's and I would suggest that if they keep pissing you off, you are in the wrong relationship anyway.
 

rtg

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Dec 24, 2011
Posts
3,604
Media
1
Likes
9,815
Points
458
Location
Brisbane (Queensland, Australia)
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Female
But what do you expect people to do? I won't have sex with somene if they have pissed me off. I'm just not in the mood, I'm not trying to score points back.

Ah thankyou, this is exactly what I was going to say.

If I'm mad or upset about something my partner has said/done, of course I'm not going to have sex. Because I don't feel like it, not because I feel like playing little stupid headgames.

Maybe guys think like this, but a lot of women don't. Which also brings me back to the point that I always make on this forum: that sex is emotional for me. And obviously if I'm hurt in an emotional way, I'm not going to be in the mood for sex.

Perhaps some men should just try and understand women a bit better :smile:
 

Deek

Superior Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Posts
74
Media
20
Likes
3,018
Points
553
Location
Nashville (Tennessee, United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
But what do you expect people to do? I won't have sex with somene if they have pissed me off. I'm just not in the mood, I'm not trying to score points back. The choice to modify the behaviour is the other person's and I would suggest that if they keep pissing you off, you are in the wrong relationship anyway.
Well, punishment like that stops behavior. Whether you meant to or not doesn't really matter. The choice to modify behavior may have been his, but he was lead by you to make that decision when you limited access to something he enjoys. The last part of that sentence didn't really have anything to do with with what I said so I have no response.
 

rtg

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Dec 24, 2011
Posts
3,604
Media
1
Likes
9,815
Points
458
Location
Brisbane (Queensland, Australia)
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Female
Well, punishment like that stops behavior. Whether you meant to or not doesn't really matter. The choice to modify behavior may have been his, but he was lead by you to make that decision when you limited access to something he enjoys. The last part of that sentence didn't really have anything to do with with what I said so I have no response.

Of course this is how a guy looks at things...

Look at this this way... if you don't feel like drinking a glass of milk because you drank a glass earlier in the day and it made you feel sick, will you then drink it? Probably not. You are not trying to punish the milk by not drinking it, you simply do not feel in the mood for drinking milk at that time.
 

ManlyBanisters

Sexy Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2007
Posts
12,253
Media
0
Likes
58
Points
183
Whether you know it or not, you're unconsciously using it as a reward to influence your partner. Take for example the topic earlier in the thread of women keeping sex from their partners when they were mad at them. They might not be consciously refusing them sex to make them behave better, but they are definitely doing it unconsciously.

Just think about it logically.
Man likes sex with woman
Woman likes sex with man
Man makes woman mad by exhibiting behavior she does not like
Woman refuses sex because she's mad
Man decides "better not do that again or no sex"

You may not be doing it consciously but by refusing sex you're denying him a very powerful stimuli. Not saying women should give up sex whenever a man wants, but you definitely are influencing behavior by limiting his access to it. Often time punishment like that influences bad behavior, but that's an entirely different topic.

That's ridiculous. What is person suppose to do? Fuck when he/she doesn't want to? Look, if a side effect of pissing me off is that we don't have sex then so be it - I don't get laid either. If we make up and everything is cool (regardless of whether I was right he was right or a little of both) we're probably going to fuck. If there is still an issue then we probably aren't going to fuck - that's not completely up to me. He may not feel like sex either. Or I may feel like it and he won't.

What neither of us is going to do is require the other to have sex when the other doesn't feel like it.
 

Deek

Superior Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Posts
74
Media
20
Likes
3,018
Points
553
Location
Nashville (Tennessee, United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Of course this is how a guy looks at things...

Look at this this way... if you don't feel like drinking a glass of milk because you drank a glass earlier in the day and it made you feel sick, will you then drink it? Probably not. You are not trying to punish the milk by not drinking it, you simply do not feel in the mood for drinking milk at that time.
No, this is how behaviorists look at things.

Your analogy here is a really bad one. Mostly because your analogy deals with a person and an inanimate object. The topic is dealing with a person and a person. Unless you're saying men are inanimate objects.

Anyway, you don't seem to be understanding what I'm saying so I'll be blunt

YOUR INTENTIONS DON'T MATTER

Keeping someone from something they enjoy is a punishment

REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU MEANT IT AS ONE OR NOT
 

Kotchanski

Expert Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2006
Posts
2,850
Media
10
Likes
104
Points
193
Location
England (United Kingdom)
Sexuality
Unsure
Gender
Female
It's a delightful attempt, but at what, I can't decide... is it woman hating without the obvious hate, or subtle manipulation to make women feel so guilty about having genuine reasons to turn down sex that they'll put out no matter what's going on or how they feel?

Tart it up in as many ribbons as you like, but you can't hide the fact that you're attempting to deny women both the right to decline sex and the right to express their own desires, at the very least, unconsciously.
 

Deek

Superior Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Posts
74
Media
20
Likes
3,018
Points
553
Location
Nashville (Tennessee, United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
That's ridiculous. What is person suppose to do? Fuck when he/she doesn't want to? Look, if a side effect of pissing me off is that we don't have sex then so be it - I don't get laid either. If we make up and everything is cool (regardless of whether I was right he was right or a little of both) we're probably going to fuck. If there is still an issue then we probably aren't going to fuck - that's not completely up to me. He may not feel like sex either. Or I may feel like it and he won't.

What neither of us is going to do is require the other to have sex when the other doesn't feel like it.
I'll refer you back to my original post when I said

"Not saying women should give up sex whenever a man wants, but you definitely are influencing behavior by limiting his access to it."

It basically asses all of your ranting
 

rtg

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Dec 24, 2011
Posts
3,604
Media
1
Likes
9,815
Points
458
Location
Brisbane (Queensland, Australia)
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Female
No, this is how behaviorists look at things.

Your analogy here is a really bad one. Mostly because your analogy deals with a person and an inanimate object. The topic is dealing with a person and a person. Unless you're saying men are inanimate objects.

Anyway, you don't seem to be understanding what I'm saying so I'll be blunt

YOUR INTENTIONS DON'T MATTER

Keeping someone from something they enjoy is a punishment

REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU MEANT IT AS ONE OR NOT

It's the same god damn concept..I just dumbed it down for you.

For fucks sake, it's not punishment if you don't personally want to do something. Same thing as if I don't feel like talking to a friend on the phone, I'm not punishing them...I just don't bloody feel like it!

Does this mean that all women must fuck every guy that wants to fuck them...apparently how we feel about things doesn't matter..it's all about pleasing the guy, right? Grow up.
 

rtg

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Dec 24, 2011
Posts
3,604
Media
1
Likes
9,815
Points
458
Location
Brisbane (Queensland, Australia)
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Female
I'll refer you back to my original post when I said

"Not saying women should give up sex whenever a man wants, but you definitely are influencing behavior by limiting his access to it."

It basically asses all of your ranting

The whole idea of 'denying' him of sex to alter his behaviour is just idiotic.

If you have a fight with your gf (if you have even ever had one), would you want to jump her bones straight away? Probably not.
 

petite

Expert Member
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Posts
7,199
Media
2
Likes
146
Points
208
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Female
That's ridiculous. What is person suppose to do? Fuck when he/she doesn't want to? Look, if a side effect of pissing me off is that we don't have sex then so be it - I don't get laid either.

Whenever I get mad at TheBF, this always makes me even more irritated at him, that he's still acting like a butthead so we haven't made up yet, which means that we can't have sex yet. Harrumpf! :mad: :redface: :tongue:

It most definitely affects me, too, but I still don't want to have sex with him when we're right in the middle of a fight. I just can't do it. I don't want to, even when I'm horny.... I just want to make up first.
 

Deek

Superior Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Posts
74
Media
20
Likes
3,018
Points
553
Location
Nashville (Tennessee, United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
It's the same god damn concept..I just dumbed it down for you.
No, it isnt. Not even close to the same concept. A glass of milk doesn't naturally behave in the same way a person or any animal does. Obviously.
dumb was a good word for it though.

For fucks sake, it's not punishment if you don't personally want to do something. Same thing as if I don't feel like talking to a friend on the phone, I'm not punishing them...I just don't bloody feel like it!
Did your friend really want to talk to you? What if your friend really needed someone to talk to and you turn her down because you dont bloody feel like it.

sounds like a punishment to me

Does this mean that all women must fuck every guy that wants to fuck them...apparently how we feel about things doesn't matter..it's all about pleasing the guy, right? Grow up.
And no, I've already addressed this multiple times, in fact, it was in my original post. You don't have to fuck a man whenever he wants to fuck. I'm just saying when you do that it influences his behavior. That's all I've been saying for the entire conversation. I'm not on some male agenda to make women submissive out of fear that they'll change someone for the worse.
 
Last edited:

B_Heart_of_Lion

1st Like
Joined
Feb 9, 2012
Posts
140
Media
0
Likes
1
Points
51
Location
MOON
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
I ve been always thinking the opposite that, actually, is the more natural way things go... Sex is a gift from men to women and if you ve ever been curious about oriental thinking on the issue you should know that actually the penis is seen as the positive pole whereas the vagina represents the negative one and the back and forth motion is meant to "recharge" the female energy supply
 

rtg

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Dec 24, 2011
Posts
3,604
Media
1
Likes
9,815
Points
458
Location
Brisbane (Queensland, Australia)
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Female
No, it isnt. Not even close to the same concept. A glass of milk doesn't naturally behave in the same way a person or any animal does. Obviously.
dumb was a good word for it though.
Yes it is. Obviously I'm just stating how any normal person thinks and reacts to things. If I'm upset (like most people) we don't do things intentionally to make the other person suffer, we act on our feelings.

Did your friend really want to talk to you? What if your friend really needed someone to talk to and you turn her down because you dont bloody feel like it.

sounds like a punishment to me
How am I supposed to know if something is wrong? Dude it's not punishment if you just don't feel like doing something. You're getting off topic. What is wrong with you?

And no, I've already addressed this multiple times, in fact, it was in my original post. You don't have to fuck a man whenever he wants to fuck. I'm just saying when you do that it influences his behavior. That's all I've been saying for the entire conversation. I'm not on some male agenda to make women submissive out of fear that they'll change someone for the worse.
Grow some balls.

Oh, and I noticed you ignored the girlfriend question...if you have no experience in relationships then you have no valid opinion here. Stop crashing the women's thread.
 
Last edited: