The institutional sexism and glorified misogyny non-perpetuation thread

[Nosuportneeded]

Let's talk about this. I would like this to be, basically, an open discussion on what all people should do to combat the problem. Anything goes, as far as thread content, as long as you are discussing the issue.

One of my questions is: How far does one have to go to truly not perpetuate sexism?

Example: almost every piece of mainstream media is riddled with this shit. What does one do? Isolate yourself from pop culture and most of the world? It is so deep seeded that I discover and realize more of its existence in plain sight every day.

Example: I love a good film, but so many of them are either openly sexist, or they attempt to satirize it by engaging in it.

Comic books and comic films come to mind, but there are so many more.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Something that really gets under my skin is the fact that the music I grew up loving is just flat out mysogynistic in too many ways. Eazy-E being one of the worst offenders. The way they talk about us, our bodies, the lack of value we hold on society. Pisses me the fuck off.

Then, almost every female artist in the same genre has to over sexualize herself to get known at all. It's not about skill, it's about sex. Surprise surprise.

I don't isolate, and I didn't just stop listening to the music I grew up loving. I just went out of my way to find some badass artists who don't have the same shitty view of my gender. Believe it or not, some of the old school 666 Mafia shit was pretty heavy on giving respect to the ladies in multiple ways. Then they blew up and turned to shit like everyone else.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I was listening to my Dr Dre station the other day and when you really stop to listen to what they say they are trashing women non stop. For the first time it really bothered me.

I noticed the Soulja Boy station only plays songs about penises. Sending the message that only a big guy can satisfy every woman.

I have to find new stations.

 

[sizehungry]

Misogyny , where does it come from ? I'm going to put my "head on the block" here , and suggest that perhaps it might stem from a deeply rooted , irrational , mistrust of female sexuality in some men . I willingly admit that I find women sexually attractive , though the actual attraction runs far ,far deeper than that . As i said in an earlier post today , the thing I miss most about my ex , are her " ways " . It would be less than honest of me to suggest that i have never been guilty of sexism ,or misogyny , because I have indulged in both in my younger days . Not proud , but truth is important if one is to participate in discussions such as this . For some time now , I've been thinking about the plight of women in society , and recently decided to take the "oath " in regard to the White Ribbon movement , which takes a stand against violence against women (don't know if you have that over there ) . Admittedly , it is only a small step among many that needs to be taken , but it's a start of sorts . It is my humble opinion ,that perhaps women can be of some help in this , in the following way . Be clear , state what it is that you find acceptable in terms of approach , or expressions of interest , and what you won't accept . True , this is yet another burden upon women , I get that , but , truth is , some of us fellas are abysmally stupid , when it comes to women , and some of us just plain don't know . Just a thought . Luckily for me ' I love women , on a variety of levels , and I fully understand their worth as people . Immeasurable . As some of you already know , I'm happy to take a " lesson" from you .

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Random addition to the topic: I really enjoyed the movie Death Proof. I'm not saying it's some ultra empowering movie that breaks barriers for women.. I just found it gratifying when those lovely ladies kick dudes ass at the end.

Zoe Bell is a fucking badass.

 

[LaFemme]

No offence TnJ, but I don’t find women inflicting violence against men as being empowering. It may satisfy a revenge fantasy, but it actually furthers the divide between men and women. It actually, in my opinion, defeats the purpose in feminism of equality. Violent women justify violence in men, at least I hear that from violent men. I don’t hit men and I don’t hit little ones. Violence is not in my lexicon. If we want equality, we treat each other with respect - I treat you the way I want to be treated. This is especially important when others act like an asshole.

Again, my opinion. Taught my boys that. A woman hits you? Walk away. Period. Dude hits you? Clench your fist, but defend only, keep your beautiful face - walk away, defend only! Never offence.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Point taken, but that's not specifically what I was referring to. They promoted their female performers without making them dance half naked. It was about their ability to perform the same way the fellas did.

Most of the content they put out from their female artists wasn't over sexualized. To a degree, yeah. It's gangster rap... But as a long time listener I definitely appreciate that about their old shit.

A lot of people have given me grief in my life for being a fan of the music I always was. I totally understand where that grief comes from. It's what I grew up on tho. No excuse, I know...

I'm not a violent person. I am a fan of violent entertainment. It's just who I am. I see the flaws in it.

As far as the movie, I mentioned it's not something that empowered women. I just enjoyed the flick and found it gratifying. I have a dark side. Can't help it.

 

[LaFemme]

Point taken, but that's not specifically what I was referring to. They promoted their female performers without making them dance half naked. It was about their ability to perform the same way the fellas did.

Most of the content they put out from their female artists wasn't over sexualized. To a degree, yeah. It's gangster rap... But as a long time listener I definitely appreciate that about their old shit.

A lot of people have given me grief in my life for being a fan of the music I always was. I totally understand where that grief comes from. It's what I grew up on tho. No excuse, I know...

I'm not a violent person. I am a fan of violent entertainment. It's just who I am. I see the flaws in it.

As far as the movie, I mentioned it's not something that empowered women. I just enjoyed the flick and found it gratifying. I have a dark side. Can't help it.

I get it I have a huge dark side. Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I do things to Trump. Slow, horrible things.

 

[sodominsane]

Something that really gets under my skin is the fact that the music I grew up loving is just flat out mysogynistic in too many ways. Eazy-E being one of the worst offenders. The way they talk about us, our bodies, the lack of value we hold on society. Pisses me the fuck off.

Then, almost every female artist in the same genre has to over sexualize herself to get known at all. It's not about skill, it's about sex. Surprise surprise.

I don't isolate, and I didn't just stop listening to the music I grew up loving. I just went out of my way to find some badass artists who don't have the same shitty view of my gender. Believe it or not, some of the old school 666 Mafia shit was pretty heavy on giving respect to the ladies in multiple ways. Then they blew up and turned to shit like everyone else.

yeah.....you know i can take a bit of sexism a bit of bravado....a bit of sexualization

but when dr dre devotes a whole song.....bitches ain't shit but holes and tricks....i don't give a fuck about a bitch and ill let her know that she can't be shit

turned me off to the entire genre

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

yeah.....you know i can take a bit of sexism a bit of bravado....a bit of sexualization

but when dr dre devotes a whole song.....bitches ain't shit but holes and tricks....i don't give a fuck about a bitch and ill let her know that she can't be shit

turned me off to the entire genre

I've always hated Dre. He's a punk.

There is good rap. Just not from that piece of shit.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

As to how we stop perpetuating the sexism... The demand has to stop. The fact that there's money to be made by portraying women in a certain way it's not going to stop. Which is why we need to raise our boys right, we need to teach our girls that we're more than sex... There's so much to say, and I'm limited on time at the moment... But yeah.

I get clouded by jaded anger... But I just do my best to speak up for what I can when I can. And I don't give money to shit stain assholes who try to make money by using people who share my gender and not giving respect/credit.

 

[Ed69]

Again, my opinion. Taught my boys that. A woman hits you? Walk away. Period.

My mother taught me the same and I did it. Until the day I turned to walk away, and my mother got called from work to the E.R. to give consent for my treatment and to speak with police about the girl with a brick. Never turn your back on an attacker is what I taught my son and daughter.

 

[LaFemme]

My mother taught me the same and I did it. Until the day I turned to walk away, and my mother got called from work to the E.R. to give consent for my treatment and to speak with police about the girl with a brick. Never turn your back on an attacker is what I taught my son and daughter.

Good point. Stay alert regardless of who’s on attack. A woman with an ‘equalizer’ (or a hidden one) is pretty dangerous. Walking away doesn’t mean drop your guard.

 

[1101550]

Is it okay though for a woman to hit a man while she is aware of the social consequences that follow if the man hits back?

In 2006, I was 18, and at a Cannibal Corpse (my first real concert after I left the Middle East) show. I don't mosh and thrash around, I go to concerts and shows to nerd out musically so I'm usually the quiet guy away that steers far from all the chaos you'd find at shows like this. The mosh pit got really intense and this guy came thrashing out of the pit and bumped into me. This caused me to lose my balance, fall backwards onto a couple standing behind me. I started apologizing profusely while picking myself up to stand and before I could even regain my balance, the woman broke her beer bottle right over my head.

Without thinking, I couldn't control myself I punched her right in the face and punched her boyfriend in the face before he could hit me (he threw his beer glass at me and put his hands up). One of their friends yells out "He hit a girl! He hit a girl!" and a couple of people got a few sucker punches and kicks at me as security dragged me out and threw me onto the curb. That was my first metal concert ever, I had to get stictches, and a had a few bruises.

I feel awful about what I did and still today I am conflicted about if what did was completely wrong or not.

 

[Ed69]

Not wrong in my view. Foolish to respond to the beer bottle when out numbered yes. Glad you did not get beat to death!

 

[justan]

No offence TnJ, but I don’t find women inflicting violence against men as being empowering. It may satisfy a revenge fantasy, but it actually furthers the divide between men and women. It actually, in my opinion, defeats the purpose in feminism of equality. Violent women justify violence in men, at least I hear that from violent men. I don’t hit men and I don’t hit little ones. Violence is not in my lexicon. If we want equality, we treat each other with respect - I treat you the way I want to be treated. This is especially important when others act like an asshole.

Again, my opinion. Taught my boys that. A woman hits you? Walk away. Period. Dude hits you? Clench your fist, but defend only, keep your beautiful face - walk away, defend only! Never offence.

Society has a propensity to engage in what I consider extremism: a (usually emotionally-charged) response to an issue, alternating from one extreme to another extreme, completely missing the needed middle balance, ultimately arriving at a substantially similar or worse result with no proper resolution to the original issue, potentially feeding a new issue. Instead, a movement often is indiscriminately & vindictively abused as an outlet to satiate motivated folks' revenge, arriving at a similar result as we began with, with a change in the cast of characters or the stage, also potentially creating new issues or contributing to existing ones. A sensibly disciplined balance is the result we should be moving toward on resolving any given issue, and to continue to actively sustain its canons & purpose, similar to caring for a healthy longevity of any living thing. I know this is broad and

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

This brings up an interesting question for me. Is it too far to get a vicarious thrill from what's meant to be a harmless outlet for entertainment when one feels oppressed and has nowhere to put that anger?

When is it implying how one should think/behave and when is it nothing more than a fantasy which can't be fulfilled in reality?

It goes back to the original topic... This conversation is rather interesting.

 

[justan]

... broad and ambiguous, but, the way I see it, it pertains to the whole social climate, and just happens to especially be the case where someone either is wronged, or feels wronged.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

For the record, I do see and acknowledge the "needed middle balance". That's why when I mentioned the movie in the first place I stated that it's not a movie that actually empowered women.

Perhaps my noted irrelevant addition to the thread was better left untyped

 

[justan]

This brings up an interesting question for me. Is it too far to get a vicarious thrill from what's meant to be a harmless outlet for entertainment when one feels oppressed and has nowhere to put that anger?

When is it implying how one should think/behave and when is it nothing more than a fantasy which can't be fulfilled in reality?

It goes back to the original topic... This conversation is rather interesting.

I was considering expanding into the "what to do with the cause" angle. Impressing contrition & strong-arm tactics upon affected folks broods oppression & alienation, eventually boiling into reality in any given form, easily embodying a radical, cancer-like resemblance if enough momentum is built. Hitler's motives are a great example of this type of passion left to boil to the extreme within a capable individual. Hate breeds hate; just say no to hatebreeding.