The jealous mother?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by someperson, Mar 1, 2012.

  1. someperson

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    I know when I get a girlfriend my mom is going to get jealous. What can I do to make this less of a issue?


    I am not really that close to my mom at all. As I had the mother/son bond with my grandma. She passed away over 6 years ago. So no one is in my way...

    My mom got jealous when my brother announced that he was getting engaged with his girlfriend (he keep his relationship a secret from her and everyone else.)
     
  2. wellhung9

    wellhung9 New Member

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    jealous? Can u explain why she might get jealous? Mothers are usually really happy for their sons when they get married.
     
  3. MickeyLee

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    hmmm start leaving pamphlets about boundaries around her house?
     
  4. hud01

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    If you aren't that close to her, then why does it matter. If she does anything to get in the way suggest that she back off
     
  5. avg_joe

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    Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. In my culture, we listen to our elders and parents.
     
    #5 avg_joe, Mar 2, 2012
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2012
  6. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    I wasn't as close to my mom as I was my dad, and mom was super critical of any of the gals I brought home. She meant well, but her standards were hard to live up to. I know I didn't meet the standards she set for me and my brother.

    a different take on "jealous mother" would be the divorced mom of a gal I dated for awhile. after awhile we would spend Friday & Saturday nites together, and I would drop my gf off at her mom's(where she lived) in the morning. apparently, my gf & her mom had a little "talk" about all of this, and the daughter told her mom that I was quite hung, that we had some trouble with sex at first but she really liked me, and having great sex, lots of orgasms. after this the mother was jealous of her dghtr cuz mom's bf wasn't much in the sack.
     
  7. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

    D_Kitten_Kaboodle Account Disabled

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    Looking forward to the explanation of "jealous"...

    and what exactly did she do when your brother got engaged/married to let on that she was "jealous"?

    I agree with ML... "boundaries need to be clearly defined if she's having problems."
     
  8. MickeyLee

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    I suspect he meant jealous/threatened by amount of time/focus a new person is getting from her son.

    if a mother has always been a son's first priority being shifted away from his spotlight might feel like abandonment... maybe?

    like she is losing her baby boy. there is a new woman he'll be building a new life with.

    ya mom might be lonely and holding too tight.

    the boundaries thing still applies :smile:
     
    #8 MickeyLee, Mar 2, 2012
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2012
  9. Hoss

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    And after that she caught wind of your attitude and realized you weren't right for her daughter.
     
  10. easytoremember55

    easytoremember55 New Member

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    Move out of home and possibly to a different town/city/country?
     
  11. erratic

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    Wait, wait, wait...she got jealous after your brother announced that he had secretly been in a relationship with a woman and they were getting married? To a woman whom he had kept a secret from the whole family?

    Dude. That is not how to introduce a new family member. Do. Not. Do. That.

    I would suggest slowly introducing your relationships to your mom. "Mom, I went on a date last week. It was great." See how she reacts. If she's cool, great. If she's weird about it, "Mom, at least I'm telling you about her before we're engaged." (I'm only half joking about saying that...well-applied humour has a way of diffusing difficult social situations.)

    Then, "Mom, that woman I'm dating and I are starting to get pretty serious. She makes me really happy." That last sentence is key. If your mom is cool about it, great. If she's weird, "Mom, she makes me happy." Stick to that line, and don't spring your girlfriends on the family.
     
  12. Willifred

    Willifred New Member

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    The mom [sic] sounds a bit crazy.

    Why wouldn't she want her sons to meet someone and be happy?
     
  13. Infernal

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    It sounds like there are issues a bit deeper than jealousy at play. Maybe definitions of appropriate boundaries is a good place to start.
     
  14. Hand_Solo

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    Wastin' away again in Creepyritaville...
     
  15. someperson

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    Yeah I all ready talked to her about it.
     
  16. erratic

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    Okay, so you already talked to her about your concerns, and you're still concerned she'll be jealous of your (future) girlfriend? Did what your mother said worry you?
     
  17. someperson

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    Yeah everything went alright.
    no I am not concerned .
     
  18. erratic

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    Excellent! I'm glad that things are sorted for you.
     
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