The Knob

BUSTERHYMAN

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Chi-Town Hustler
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Male
One day Betty, who has had many cosmetic surgeries over the years is visiting her plastic surgeon.

He says, hey, there's a new device I wanted to tell you about. It's called 'the knob'. What it is, is a flat little knob that we'll fit to the back of your head, under your hair. Any time your face is beginning to look a little saggy, just give the knob a slight twist and it'll pull the skin on your face back and get rid of those wrinkles instantly.

I'm in! she says.

She get's the device implanted and seems delighted with it for the first few months. Then, a year later, she's back at the office, quite concerned and agitated.

She bursts into the office...

Doc I've got two major problems I need to talk to you about. First of all, I have these huge bags under my eyes. No matter how much I twist the knob, they won't go away. And second...

Hold up, the doctor says. Let me take a closer look...

Uh, Betty, those aren't bags under your eyes. They're your nipples.

Oh, she says. Well then... I guess that explains the goatee.