The link between man & god is FAITH

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by hifzija, Jun 28, 2011.

  1. hifzija

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2008
    Messages:
    630
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    The link between man & god is FAITH

    Don't miss even a single word...Every second is worth reading this Post


    An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.

    He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

    Prof:

    So you believe in God?

    Student:

    Absolutely, sir.

    Prof :

    Is God good?

    Student:

    Sure.

    Prof:

    Is God all-powerful?

    Student :

    Yes.

    Prof:

    My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.

    Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?

    (Student is silent..)

    Prof:

    You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?

    Student:

    Yes.

    Prof:

    Is Satan good?

    Student :

    No.

    Prof:

    Where does Satan come from?

    Student:

    From...God.. .

    Prof:

    That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

    Student:

    Yes.

    Prof:

    Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?

    Student:

    Yes.

    Prof:

    So who created evil?

    (Student does not answer.)

    Prof:

    Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

    Student:

    Yes, sir.

    Prof:

    So, who created them?

    (Student has no answer.)

    Prof:

    Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.

    Tell me, son...Have you ever

    seen God?

    Student:

    No, sir.

    Prof:

    Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

    Student:

    No, sir.

    Prof:

    Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

    Student:

    No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

    Prof:

    Yet you still believe in Him?

    Student:

    Yes.

    Prof:

    According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist.

    What do you say to that, son?

    Student:

    Nothing. I only have my faith.

    Prof:

    Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

    Student:

    Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

    Prof:

    Yes.

    Student:

    And is there such a thing as cold?

    Prof:

    Yes.

    Student:

    No sir. There isn't.

    (The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

    Student :

    Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat.

    But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go

    any further after that.

    There is no such thing as cold . Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of

    heat

    . We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy . Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it .

    (There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

    Student:

    What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

    Prof:

    Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

    Student :

    You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright

    light, flashing light....But if

    you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In

    reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make

    darkness darker, wouldn't you?

    Prof:

    So what is the point you are making, young man?

    Student:

    Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

    Prof:

    Flawed? Can you explain how?

    Student:

    Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.

    Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

    Prof:

    If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

    Student:

    Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

    (The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going..)

    Student:

    Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)

    Student:

    Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

    (The class breaks out into laughter.)

    Student :

    Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir.

    With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

    (The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable. )

    Prof:

    I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

    Student:

    That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH .. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

    This is a true story, and the
    student was none other than........ ..

    APJ Abdul Kalam , the former president of India
     
  2. parchissi

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2008
    Messages:
    12,957
    Likes Received:
    137
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Darwin, Australia
    Great Hifzija. Thanks for sharing. Good to be reminded of some of the simple things in life we take for granted.
     
  3. august86

    august86 Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2010
    Messages:
    287
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ask...
    I like this. Thanks hifzija! :biggrin1:
     
  4. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2007
    Messages:
    11,912
    Likes Received:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York City, by way of Marblehead, Boston and Ge
    Faith is simply the willing suspension of disbelief. And belief is solipsism.

    I can't imagine why this thread is under Funny Stuff unless the OP is mocking us, which I doubt.
     
  5. hifzija

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2008
    Messages:
    630
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    No mocking,sorry if someone take it that way.
    I put it under Funny Stuff ,because all people interpret faith,belief and religion in different ways.My intention is not to offend anyone.
     
  6. trunksisba

    trunksisba New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2010
    Messages:
    211
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Colorado
    I'm pretty sure my head just exploded from this.
     
  7. lizbiz11

    lizbiz11 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2011
    Messages:
    3
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    europe
    thats the stupidest thing i ever read and the professor is an idiot for not blowing that student out of the water.. darkness is a description.as is cold, evolution can be seen ..i mean what kind of faith crap argument is this.. indian president my arse.
     
  8. hifzija

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2008
    Messages:
    630
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    Interesting thinking ,But it is not necessary that everyone agree with your opinion.
     
  9. Snakebyte

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2005
    Messages:
    7,314
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    446
    Verified:
    Photo
    Still there are lots of flaws in the students argumentation.
    For example, the existance of a brain can be proven. Ongoing evolution can be observed in the fauna and especially in the world of bacteria. "Cold" is a feeling someone experiences depending on temperature, specific heat capacity and thermal conduction of a specific material. In this context heat and thermal energy are not the same.
     
  10. hifzija

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2008
    Messages:
    630
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    You`re right snake.But here I don't want to argue who is right or wrong,with this post.
    Here I wanted to show example how to explain personal beliefs.
    (That's why I put it in the jokes section,without arguing who is right,who is not.)
     
  11. bearvwe

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2008
    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London (GB)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Two goldfish swimming round in a bowl. Suddenly one goldfish stops and asks the other: "Do you believe in God?". "Oh yes" says the other goldfish.

    "So you really believe that God exists?" "Oh yes!"

    "So you have no doubts. He really exists?" "Oh yes!"

    "But how can you be so sure?" "Well who else keeps changing the water!"
     
  12. Calboner

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2007
    Messages:
    9,026
    Albums:
    5
    Likes Received:
    2,465
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Slightly modified version:

    Student: Have you personally verified that the moon is not made of cheese?

    Professor: No.

    Student: Ah, so it's all a matter of faith, just like my faith that the universe was created and is ruled by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The link between man and the Flying Spaghetti Monster is faith!

    Second student: Nonsense! The universe was created and is ruled by a band of several hundred miscellaneous deities!

    Student: Well, it's all a matter of faith, so we can believe any preposterous rubbish that we pull out of our arseholes! Isn't faith great! I also believe that autism is caused by vaccines (and so I'm agitating to abolish the vaccination of children against diseases), that AIDS is caused by eating cooked foods rather than by a virus spread through sexual contact (and so I'm working to stop the use of condoms), that petroleum is produced spontaneously under the surface of the earth in a never-ending supply (and so I'm working to stop energy conservation efforts), and a load of other utterly unsubstantiated crap! Hurrah for faith!
     
Draft saved Draft deleted