The monogam-ish spectrum

[theplayerking]

If you could choose, where would your ideal relationship fall on the monogam-ish spectrum?

Total monogamy: including prohibitions on masturbation and watching porn alone

Physical monogamy: no physical interaction with a third-party, but may read stories online, watch videos, and masturbate

Light, fleeting and casual hookups: anonymous one-time hand jobs or passive oral-only hookups in cruising spots (bookstores, bars, bathrooms, etc.); no names or further communication

Out of town playtime: permission to visit a bathhouse or have a one-on-one hookup in a hotel when traveling alone for work; no names and no further communication but may include anal

Don’t ask, don’t tell: hookups, including anal, are permitted but are discreet and only at times when you’re not otherwise with your partner

Group fun: hookups permitted only if they include your partner

Scheduled solo playtime: allowed to plan playtime, such as attending a sex party, in advance

Don’t ask, but do tell: anything goes and you’re encouraged to share stories of your adventures, all previous permutations are possible including public cruising, one-on-one hookups with anal, bathhouses, sex parties, and occasional group play with your partner

Polyamorous: may have a repeat fuck buddy or boyfriend with some emotional connection

 

[Sagittarius84]

Polyamory, but with restrictions; no other men involved, she and I can engage with other women either alone or together.

 

[Don Logan]

That's a huge leap from #2 to #3. In my mind, once you've crossed that threshold, why not go all the way?

 

[theplayerking]

That's a huge leap from #2 to #3. In my mind, once you've crossed that threshold, why not go all the way?

To me the difference is between No. 3 and No. 4. No. 3 is largely passive and comparatively safer from an STI perspective. It’s for guys that want to let off a little steam but not have penetrative sex. Or a rationalization of cheating = fucking. No. 3 might also include jerking off in the gym shower or a happy ending after a massage.

 

[Sagittarius84]

2-3 is definitely the huge leap. From a male perspective I think most modern women are at mindset 2, understanding that men need sexual variety, but having a restriction of 1st person interactions in order to have those needs attended to. I think a "2.5" should've been identified as well, because sometimes including the media provided by known parties and acquaintances, even if there is no 1st party interaction will probably cross a boundary for most monogamous couples. I don't think penetrative sex is the primary boundary I think it's 1st person engagement, even if there is no physical contact present.

 

[elklindoxxx]

My partner and I have an open relationship. We go with other couples and we do individual hook-ups.