The Most Important Relationship?

[Knight]

Hi guys, what do you consider to be the most important relationship?

After the psycho gf episode I see how important family is, my godbrother was round today, feelin lonely cos his mum died recently, of cancer and she never smoked or even drank that much and never did drugs...But the gf made me miss what was important...Gonna start doin what's right for me now

We really need to catch up, and I need to fuck the ex off she was just draining. And I have done, deleted her off MSN...Tomorrow I'll go for a long bike ride and show off to any hot girls I see

So what do you guys consider to be the most important or treasured relationship you have?

Sorry if this is a strange or pointless post but I needed to get it out, catharsis and all that.

 

[Dr Rock]

myself

 

[B_Jeremy]

Simple. My mom. Love her more than anything and would easily be lost without her.

 

[mimosurfDutch]

family for sure man - followed closely by friends. keep them all close to you!

 

[B_hungrick]

Originally posted by Knight@May 29 2005, 05:47 PM
Hi guys, what do you consider to be the most important relationship?

After the psycho gf episode I see how important family is, my godbrother was round today, feelin lonely cos his mum died recently, of cancer and she never smoked or even drank that much and never did drugs...But the gf made me miss what was important...Gonna start doin what's right for me now

We really need to catch up, and I need to fuck the ex off she was just draining.  And I have done, deleted her off MSN...Tomorrow I'll go for a long bike ride and show off to any hot girls I see

So what do you guys consider to be the most important or treasured relationship you have?

Sorry if this is a strange or pointless post but I needed to get it out, catharsis and all that.

[post=316123]Quoted post[/post]​

Knight,

Your post is not strange or pointless. It's right on the mark after you've had difficulty in a romantic relationship.

At the grand old age of 26, I've learned some really important lessons about the topic you've brought up. The most important of which is that you can't leave it up to others to define who you are, or think that other people (women) can make you a complete person. No one can fulfill our needs except ourselves. A girlfriend or wife can share our lives with us but can't give us our meaning. That's the job of growing up. This may sound obvious. But I think many people go around looking for someone to make us feel ok about ourselves. It's a hopeless mission.

So I think the answer to your question is, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. This isn't a negative self-centered thing either. It's a realistic response to our situation. Once you have a healthy relationship with yourself, then you can go out and love others. This is the way it has worked in my life so far. I'm wishing all the best for you as you begin this new chapter.

 

[headbang8]

Originally posted by hungrick@May 30 2005, 02:55 PM
You can't leave it up to others to define who you are, or think that other people (women) can make you a complete person. No one can fulfill our needs except ourselves. A girlfriend or wife can share our lives with us but can't give us our meaning. That's the job of growing up. This may sound obvious. But I think many people go around looking for someone to make us feel ok about ourselves. It's a hopeless mission.  So I think the answer to your question is, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. This isn't a negative self-centered thing either. It's a realistic response to our situation. Once you have a healthy relationship with yourself, then you can go out and love others.

[post=316152]Quoted post[/post]​

Hear hear, hungrick. The story of Knight and his girlfriend shows that he can respect himself without being heartless. A good relationship with yourself lets you do that...recognising your stregths and limitations, acknowledging your faults and mistakes without undervaluing your virtues and good deeds. If you don't have a healthy relationship with yourself, you become an enslaved codependent.

My current relationship taught me this lesson. We're two quite independent people who assume very few obligations toward each other. Yet my passion is to please him, and his to please me. We place a lot of importance on (in James Joyce's words) the little sacraments of everyday life--the small kindnesses you pay to each other in private moments. It's very telling: we're in a long distance relationship at the moment, and while I can't say either of us endures any real hardship, my life has lost much of its richness.

I thought seriously about Knight's question. There are so many important relationships in my life--partner, siblings, nephews and nieces, friends, colleagues, and (in a negative way) my surviving parent--all of which are meaningful in different ways. If I lost any of them, I'd be a different person. I guess I'm blessed.

hb8

 

[txquis]

My answer is "it is different for everyone" but having said that,
i feel the most important relationship is the one where you share mutual
respect and as-close-to-unconditional-love-as-you-can-get
with another like minded person.


That could mean your child, your parent, your lover, your friend,
whoever fits.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

My most unconditional relationship is definitely my family...But lately I come to see that two of my most important relationships are 2 of my best friends...

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

Originally posted by FootLongTeen@May 30 2005, 03:49 AM
Simple. My mom. Love her more than anything and would easily be lost without her.

[post=316143]Quoted post[/post]​

Ditto.

Definatly the closest relationship I have with anyone is with my mother... we just understand each other.

 

[13788]

orionsword57: ....No one can fulfill our needs except ourselves. A girlfriend or wife can share our lives with us but can't give us our meaning. That's the job of growing up.....

This is so true. I have been rejected by almost my entire family, a family I felt close to, when I chose the woman they considered the "wrong" wife, then was left desolate by the death of my wife in her early 40's, and then have bounced around enough incomplete relationships (until my present one) to have learned the value of how one feels about oneself. I believe all of life happens "in the mirror, in the morning", where you look at yourself and you know just how you feel about that clown in the mirror. You can not give until you permit yourself to take, having grown to like yourself enough to know that you deserve good things. Only then can you "give" good things to a relationship.