D
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stay tuned to see who hooks up with who. is it M/F, M/M? 
My mom Alice gasped in horror as my four friends, Owen, Collin, Ivan, Andy, along with my little brother Conner and myself came walking towards her on our loose rock drive way. Our driveway makes a horseshoe towards our front door but breaks off toward the side of our house were our garage is at. We had just gotten back from a long, hot summer day of drinking and shooting in the good old fashioned farming town of Santa Maria.
'I don’t think I’m going to…'
Ivan started, but was shut down by his incredibly drunk body. He fell onto our front lawn and passed out. We all started laughing as our drunken round friend flopped onto the grass mid summer day.
'I said what in gods name happened to you guys?' My mom said again.
'Ohh, just the normal Sunday afternoon, Momma D.' Owen said. All my friends called my mom Momma D. The D is for our last name, Daniels.
'But Conner and Chippy over here decided to try and recreate Silence of the Lambs though.' Owen said laughing his ass off.
I realized he was the only one clean out of all of us, so I flicked a glob of dripping blood from my fingers and onto his grey shirt.
'Fucker! I was trying to stay clean.'
'No go Bo.' I replied.
'Chip!' This time my mom yelled at us to get our attention. 'Whose blood are you guys covered in?'
'Come with us and I’ll show you.' I had my mom follow us to my old army Higgins jeep and opened the tail gate.
'Mom. Meet, guys don’t know how to shoot worth a shit.' I pointed at a 200 pound wild boar. 'And, I’m going to attack you and get shot at point blank range.' I pointed to a massive 400 pound boar with its head blasted off. 'And finally, Conner Daniels doesn’t know how to gut a pig!' I point to the
last 400 pound boar.
'So how did you two,' mom was pointing to me and Conner, 'Get completely covered in blood, and why does everybody else have blood splatter all over them?'
'Well that’s a good story mom. One that I will tell you right now.' The pig’s blood had yet to dry all the way and was still running down my arms and face. My white shirt was soaked along with my wranglers. I don’t think going into a slaughter house you could get this bloody. I started telling my story.
'So, we shot that little pig and I went to go get it. Well dumbass Conner…'
'Hey it wasn’t…' Conner tried to argue.
'Shut up Conner!' I yelled back. 'Well Conner had my pistol when I went to get the little boar. Well
when I was dragging it back to the jeep, momma pig decided to sneak up on me and attack me. So I shot it with my Chey Tac rifle from probably five feet.'
'You shot that thing,' mom pointed at the female four hundred pound pig, 'from five feet away with your new rifle?'
'Yep, and half of the result of a five hundred grain bullet traveling at thirty nine hundred feet per second is on my body right now.' I ran my hand through my hair and it came out twice as red as before. 'Well the other half of this is Conner’s fault. He doesn’t get that when you stab a four hundred
pound boar in the jugular, blood will explode everywhere. Now that’s why Conner’s covered in blood and why everybody else has blood splatter on them.'
I looked at Andy, who had joined Ivan on the grass. Andy was lying completely sprawled out staring into the sky. Yea, he drank too much too.
'So that’s why were covered from head to toe in blood right now. Because your youngest son is a fucking moron!'
'It’s not my fault Chip!'
Conner replied walking up to me and patted me on the shoulder, squeezing some of the blood from my shirt. I glared at him but neither of us could hold it in and started laughing our asses off from the whole situation. Who else would take being covered in pig blood like we did? Whose mom wouldn’t
care that her 18 year old and 17 year old son were drinking while shooting on a Saturday and whose friends were passed out on the front lawn? Or that blood was dripping out of my Jeep and onto the driveway.
'Well get those things gutted. The big ones we’ll use and jerky and hamburger and trim out the smaller one for steaks.'
My mom told us after we both started laughing. I yelled over to Collin and Owen to help. Those two clowns were on the lawn too. Collin had taken his shirt off, like always, and was resting his head on Owen’s stomach and none of them showed signs of moving.
'Whatever.' I said, and Conner and I started unloading the three carcasses onto a large painter’s tarp. We then started gutting them on our driveway and throwing any useable cuts into large buckets. My dad had taught us how to trim out pigs when we were little, and my mom added her two cents in because she was also a registered nurse and new human anatomy. And pigs are no different. Conner had parked the Jeep backwards on the side driveway so we didn’t notice our mom leave.
We had just trimmed out the smaller of the boars and just when we were starting on the bigger ones,
my parents walked up with an older lady in her 40’s I’d say, with a teenage boy and girl following her. My dad, as nonchalant as he could, introduced Conner and me.
'Linda, these are our sons. Chip and Conner.'
Conner made his way towards Linda to shake her had. I made a loud sound, as if I was clearing my throat, so Conner would realize that he needed to stop because he was so bloody. Thankfully we hadccleaned our faces and hair of all the blood so it didn’t look like we were complete psychopaths.
'It’s nice to meet you Ma’am. I’m Chip. I’m very sorry that were so dirty right now.'
'O no, no. It’s no problem.' Linda responded. Thankfully she didn’t see the half ton of dead carcasses lying in the bed of the Jeep.
'These are my kids. Jeff and Amy.' Linda stepped aside so that they were forced to acknowledge us.
I quickly took a mental picture of both of them. Amy had smooth brown hair and a well tanned body.
You could tell she was some sort of an athlete just by here stance when she stood. She was very good looking with nice brown eyes and lushes red lips. Of course like any other guy, I took a glimpse at her breasts as well. They looked good too. I’ve never been a boob’s kind of guy. I focus more on somebody’s face more then anything. Yea she was an athlete of some sort.
I could tell she had a sports bra on that showed under her spaghetti strap shirt. She raised her arm to give us a nice wave and that’s when I noticed she had some pretty muscular arms as well. She seemed like she was pretty level headed as well. I would definitely screw her I thought to myself.
Then my eyes drifted to Jeff. Jeff was wearing a black Polo Ralph Lauren shirt and camo cargo shorts.
He had short dark brown hair that was gelled up into a typical style. He was always looking around at stuff though, with his hazel eyes. I watched his eyes for a while and they never stopped moving.
That was until he locked onto Conner. I looked over at Conner through the corner of my eye and could tell he was staring into Jeff’s eyes. Conner was an eyes type of guy. Then I stared back at Jeff and his eyes were locked onto Conner’s.
'It’s nice to meet you Amy.' I gave her a nod. 'You too Jeff.'
Jeff shook his head ever so little and looked at me. I smiled at him as I knew he was analyzing me as well. By the clothing Jeff had on, I knew he was at least an average body build but I couldn’t tell anything else more then that. He was well tanned, just like his sister. I noticed Conner had yet to say anything and he continued to look Jeff up and down.
'Conner, don’t be rude.' I said.
'Um, nice to meet you.' Conner barely got out. He didn’t even close his mouth and was still staring at Jeff. I shook my head and rolled my eyes already knowing what Conner was thinking.
'These are our new neighbor’s guys. They moved into the Adam’s house.' My dad Paul said.
'Ah, ok.' I said.
'Let me apologize for my boys. They were raised by their father and were born in a barn.' My mom joked, and pointed at an old barn in the distance.
'Yea, well you gave birth to us though.' I quickly replied.
'And I didn’t raise them, because if I did, I would have taught them to gut animals in the field and not on our driveway.'
'We didn’t have any good knives, minus just our pocket knives. We tried using those but it didn’t work for the big ones.' Conner said.
'You can’t gut a pig with your pocket knife?' My dad snapped back. 'Whose son are you? I taught you how to kill a pig with your pocket knife, not to mention gut one.'
'Well you traumatized us for that dad.' Conner replied. 'Why do you think were completely covered from head to toe in blood!'
'Will you two stop?! We have guests,' my mom finally ended with.
'Who’s here?!' Owen yelled from on our back lawn.
'Ahh fucker! You can’t yell when I’m using your fat ass stomach as a pillow, bitch!' Collin yelled back.
'Oh those are my drunken friends passed out on the grass. They’re always here. If they give you problems just shoot them or tell them to shut up.' I told Linda and her two kids. 'Chippy, who’s here?' Collin yelled.
'Collin, shut up!' I yelled back.
'Don’t be mad! I still love you baby!' Collin replied. I started shaking my head, my parents did the same. 'Sorry.' I said.
'There really a good group of guys. Sometime they make some trouble. But they’re all good kids.' My dad said.
My parents walked inside with the Smith family and were soon joined by Mr. Smith. Conner and I continued dressing out the remaining carcasses with our four friends still passed out.
'So you gonna pounce on Mr. Smith little bro?' I said just as I threw one of the last pieces of meat into the bucket.
Conner just gave me one of his raised eyebrow look that were both famous for, the one that means,
'If you weren’t my brother, I’d kill you, but since you are my brother I’m going to torture you.'
'What?' I said in humorous disbelief, 'I saw you looking Jeff up and down for a while, did you even know who Amy is?'
'Amy, um the girl that your retarded ass is gonna go gunning for now? The one that most likely is a lesbo softball player and can most likely kick your ass if you went for her pants?' Conner said while leaning up against the tailgate of the jeep, pouting and fluttering his eyes staring deeply at me mocking me. He always knew I was a sucker for tom boy type girls, and I would generally just throw myself at them without knowing what I would hit.
'So are you guys gonna get a group discount at the church for the double weddings my little Daniels babies?' Collin blurted out as he came up and wrapped his arms around Conner pushing him forward.
Needless to say Collin was still pretty drunk because he ran into Conner so fast he nearly pushed him into the jeep and right onto the carcasses.
'Ow' Conner scream out as his body was pinned between a metal tailgate and a 175 pound block of muscle. Conner stood at the jeep for a few seconds. I thought he was actually hurt or something but that was not it, obviously. 'Collin… I feel something that shouldn’t be on my jeans… It should be inside of them or inside my mouth.' Collin spun Conner around and drunkenly wobbled back and forth while gingerly staring into my little brothers eyes just inches away from each other.
My mom Alice gasped in horror as my four friends, Owen, Collin, Ivan, Andy, along with my little brother Conner and myself came walking towards her on our loose rock drive way. Our driveway makes a horseshoe towards our front door but breaks off toward the side of our house were our garage is at. We had just gotten back from a long, hot summer day of drinking and shooting in the good old fashioned farming town of Santa Maria.
'I don’t think I’m going to…'
Ivan started, but was shut down by his incredibly drunk body. He fell onto our front lawn and passed out. We all started laughing as our drunken round friend flopped onto the grass mid summer day.
'I said what in gods name happened to you guys?' My mom said again.
'Ohh, just the normal Sunday afternoon, Momma D.' Owen said. All my friends called my mom Momma D. The D is for our last name, Daniels.
'But Conner and Chippy over here decided to try and recreate Silence of the Lambs though.' Owen said laughing his ass off.
I realized he was the only one clean out of all of us, so I flicked a glob of dripping blood from my fingers and onto his grey shirt.
'Fucker! I was trying to stay clean.'
'No go Bo.' I replied.
'Chip!' This time my mom yelled at us to get our attention. 'Whose blood are you guys covered in?'
'Come with us and I’ll show you.' I had my mom follow us to my old army Higgins jeep and opened the tail gate.
'Mom. Meet, guys don’t know how to shoot worth a shit.' I pointed at a 200 pound wild boar. 'And, I’m going to attack you and get shot at point blank range.' I pointed to a massive 400 pound boar with its head blasted off. 'And finally, Conner Daniels doesn’t know how to gut a pig!' I point to the
last 400 pound boar.
'So how did you two,' mom was pointing to me and Conner, 'Get completely covered in blood, and why does everybody else have blood splatter all over them?'
'Well that’s a good story mom. One that I will tell you right now.' The pig’s blood had yet to dry all the way and was still running down my arms and face. My white shirt was soaked along with my wranglers. I don’t think going into a slaughter house you could get this bloody. I started telling my story.
'So, we shot that little pig and I went to go get it. Well dumbass Conner…'
'Hey it wasn’t…' Conner tried to argue.
'Shut up Conner!' I yelled back. 'Well Conner had my pistol when I went to get the little boar. Well
when I was dragging it back to the jeep, momma pig decided to sneak up on me and attack me. So I shot it with my Chey Tac rifle from probably five feet.'
'You shot that thing,' mom pointed at the female four hundred pound pig, 'from five feet away with your new rifle?'
'Yep, and half of the result of a five hundred grain bullet traveling at thirty nine hundred feet per second is on my body right now.' I ran my hand through my hair and it came out twice as red as before. 'Well the other half of this is Conner’s fault. He doesn’t get that when you stab a four hundred
pound boar in the jugular, blood will explode everywhere. Now that’s why Conner’s covered in blood and why everybody else has blood splatter on them.'
I looked at Andy, who had joined Ivan on the grass. Andy was lying completely sprawled out staring into the sky. Yea, he drank too much too.
'So that’s why were covered from head to toe in blood right now. Because your youngest son is a fucking moron!'
'It’s not my fault Chip!'
Conner replied walking up to me and patted me on the shoulder, squeezing some of the blood from my shirt. I glared at him but neither of us could hold it in and started laughing our asses off from the whole situation. Who else would take being covered in pig blood like we did? Whose mom wouldn’t
care that her 18 year old and 17 year old son were drinking while shooting on a Saturday and whose friends were passed out on the front lawn? Or that blood was dripping out of my Jeep and onto the driveway.
'Well get those things gutted. The big ones we’ll use and jerky and hamburger and trim out the smaller one for steaks.'
My mom told us after we both started laughing. I yelled over to Collin and Owen to help. Those two clowns were on the lawn too. Collin had taken his shirt off, like always, and was resting his head on Owen’s stomach and none of them showed signs of moving.
'Whatever.' I said, and Conner and I started unloading the three carcasses onto a large painter’s tarp. We then started gutting them on our driveway and throwing any useable cuts into large buckets. My dad had taught us how to trim out pigs when we were little, and my mom added her two cents in because she was also a registered nurse and new human anatomy. And pigs are no different. Conner had parked the Jeep backwards on the side driveway so we didn’t notice our mom leave.
We had just trimmed out the smaller of the boars and just when we were starting on the bigger ones,
my parents walked up with an older lady in her 40’s I’d say, with a teenage boy and girl following her. My dad, as nonchalant as he could, introduced Conner and me.
'Linda, these are our sons. Chip and Conner.'
Conner made his way towards Linda to shake her had. I made a loud sound, as if I was clearing my throat, so Conner would realize that he needed to stop because he was so bloody. Thankfully we hadccleaned our faces and hair of all the blood so it didn’t look like we were complete psychopaths.
'It’s nice to meet you Ma’am. I’m Chip. I’m very sorry that were so dirty right now.'
'O no, no. It’s no problem.' Linda responded. Thankfully she didn’t see the half ton of dead carcasses lying in the bed of the Jeep.
'These are my kids. Jeff and Amy.' Linda stepped aside so that they were forced to acknowledge us.
I quickly took a mental picture of both of them. Amy had smooth brown hair and a well tanned body.
You could tell she was some sort of an athlete just by here stance when she stood. She was very good looking with nice brown eyes and lushes red lips. Of course like any other guy, I took a glimpse at her breasts as well. They looked good too. I’ve never been a boob’s kind of guy. I focus more on somebody’s face more then anything. Yea she was an athlete of some sort.
I could tell she had a sports bra on that showed under her spaghetti strap shirt. She raised her arm to give us a nice wave and that’s when I noticed she had some pretty muscular arms as well. She seemed like she was pretty level headed as well. I would definitely screw her I thought to myself.
Then my eyes drifted to Jeff. Jeff was wearing a black Polo Ralph Lauren shirt and camo cargo shorts.
He had short dark brown hair that was gelled up into a typical style. He was always looking around at stuff though, with his hazel eyes. I watched his eyes for a while and they never stopped moving.
That was until he locked onto Conner. I looked over at Conner through the corner of my eye and could tell he was staring into Jeff’s eyes. Conner was an eyes type of guy. Then I stared back at Jeff and his eyes were locked onto Conner’s.
'It’s nice to meet you Amy.' I gave her a nod. 'You too Jeff.'
Jeff shook his head ever so little and looked at me. I smiled at him as I knew he was analyzing me as well. By the clothing Jeff had on, I knew he was at least an average body build but I couldn’t tell anything else more then that. He was well tanned, just like his sister. I noticed Conner had yet to say anything and he continued to look Jeff up and down.
'Conner, don’t be rude.' I said.
'Um, nice to meet you.' Conner barely got out. He didn’t even close his mouth and was still staring at Jeff. I shook my head and rolled my eyes already knowing what Conner was thinking.
'These are our new neighbor’s guys. They moved into the Adam’s house.' My dad Paul said.
'Ah, ok.' I said.
'Let me apologize for my boys. They were raised by their father and were born in a barn.' My mom joked, and pointed at an old barn in the distance.
'Yea, well you gave birth to us though.' I quickly replied.
'And I didn’t raise them, because if I did, I would have taught them to gut animals in the field and not on our driveway.'
'We didn’t have any good knives, minus just our pocket knives. We tried using those but it didn’t work for the big ones.' Conner said.
'You can’t gut a pig with your pocket knife?' My dad snapped back. 'Whose son are you? I taught you how to kill a pig with your pocket knife, not to mention gut one.'
'Well you traumatized us for that dad.' Conner replied. 'Why do you think were completely covered from head to toe in blood!'
'Will you two stop?! We have guests,' my mom finally ended with.
'Who’s here?!' Owen yelled from on our back lawn.
'Ahh fucker! You can’t yell when I’m using your fat ass stomach as a pillow, bitch!' Collin yelled back.
'Oh those are my drunken friends passed out on the grass. They’re always here. If they give you problems just shoot them or tell them to shut up.' I told Linda and her two kids. 'Chippy, who’s here?' Collin yelled.
'Collin, shut up!' I yelled back.
'Don’t be mad! I still love you baby!' Collin replied. I started shaking my head, my parents did the same. 'Sorry.' I said.
'There really a good group of guys. Sometime they make some trouble. But they’re all good kids.' My dad said.
My parents walked inside with the Smith family and were soon joined by Mr. Smith. Conner and I continued dressing out the remaining carcasses with our four friends still passed out.
'So you gonna pounce on Mr. Smith little bro?' I said just as I threw one of the last pieces of meat into the bucket.
Conner just gave me one of his raised eyebrow look that were both famous for, the one that means,
'If you weren’t my brother, I’d kill you, but since you are my brother I’m going to torture you.'
'What?' I said in humorous disbelief, 'I saw you looking Jeff up and down for a while, did you even know who Amy is?'
'Amy, um the girl that your retarded ass is gonna go gunning for now? The one that most likely is a lesbo softball player and can most likely kick your ass if you went for her pants?' Conner said while leaning up against the tailgate of the jeep, pouting and fluttering his eyes staring deeply at me mocking me. He always knew I was a sucker for tom boy type girls, and I would generally just throw myself at them without knowing what I would hit.
'So are you guys gonna get a group discount at the church for the double weddings my little Daniels babies?' Collin blurted out as he came up and wrapped his arms around Conner pushing him forward.
Needless to say Collin was still pretty drunk because he ran into Conner so fast he nearly pushed him into the jeep and right onto the carcasses.
'Ow' Conner scream out as his body was pinned between a metal tailgate and a 175 pound block of muscle. Conner stood at the jeep for a few seconds. I thought he was actually hurt or something but that was not it, obviously. 'Collin… I feel something that shouldn’t be on my jeans… It should be inside of them or inside my mouth.' Collin spun Conner around and drunkenly wobbled back and forth while gingerly staring into my little brothers eyes just inches away from each other.