First off, let me state in advance that not all men from New York are metrosexual. I'm just talking about one guy here -- one confusing dude. There's this new guy at the restaurant, and from the jump, he didn't look like your average college-age guy looking for a waiting table gig. He came in with his beanie and his coiff. I told a good girl buddy that you can almost hear gaydar sometimes. In some people, it's really subtle like a soft windchime in a gust; for others, it's the clash of the Notre Dame cathedral bells on the hour. This guy resounded somewhere around a Salvation Army volunteer giving a good strong ring a couple of days before Christmas. Moving ahead a bit, he said that people confuse him for being gay all the time and he knows that the metrosexual vibe'll do that. Doesn't give him a fuck, and I respect that. I've offered to hang out with him on a few occasions after work, and once we get a few beers in us, things happen. He gets more comfortable with all the affectionate pet names. I've been called everything from "honey" to "gorgeous," in greeting and in farewell. I try to be congruent and shower it back to him, but I'd rather say that stuff to women. Anyway, he'll camp it up a little too well at work sometimes, and he'll make references about us cuddling. He oft-groped the dick once. He's kissed me on the cheek a couple of times. Heh. I'm straight and I do some pretty un-straight shit sometimes, but this fellow has me all but confused. I tried explaining to him one night that he gives such mixed signals that he's hard to get, and I didn't think he got it. I went ahead and pressed him a little more about the bi-curious stuff he's doing, and he really (unfortunately) reduced it to a male sexual outlet. Like, he's been highly drunk or high and got with a dude and did it just to fuck -- that's it. The first thing I asked was whether or not he was hitting on me. I can appreciate open affection and closeness because I don't feel like guys need to be that damn stiff around each other. But I got guy buddies at work I can hug and it's just fine. He doesn't feel comfortable, though. The second thing I asked was whether or not he's gay, or suppressing some shit or what, and I can't figure it out. I wouldn't be surprised if he were. I just don't want to be some outlet for him. The third thing I asked myself was whether or not I was getting interested in the guy -- good question to ask -- and I realized that I was only interested in trying to figure him out. Yeah, he's a good looking guy. Even if I were attracted, he's got some drug issues and alcoholism and an imbalanced personality that I don't have the patience or the energy to get wrapped up in. And if I tried, I'd get wrapped up into my own head trips. Took some time to get that sorted, but nah... he's not "the one." Whether I fully understand how his mind works is irrelevant. I'm not interested anymore. I was a little wistful about it because, despite a negative first impression, I thought he could be kinda cool if we just did some one-on-one type stuff. Social butterflies need that kind of close, personal attention to balance 'em out. Anyway, after hanging out last night, my gut pretty much knotted up and that was the end of that. I sped 70 all the way to his house, sang as loudly as I could to the radio to drown him out, and smiled on my back. Either way, I cook a kick ass medium steak.