The one

[sexplease]

If you were blind, you would see me differently.

 

[deleted3782]

With seven billion people on the planet, the chances that a girl in Peoria IL would find her "one" in the next town over Moline IL is silly. Statistically its much more likely that her "one" is living in India or in China...

I think people who find their "one" are just agreeable people who could get along well with a broad spectrum of personailities. Maybe they view themselves as picky, but maybe they just get used personalities or respect personal differences easily.

There are some websites that try to match you up with your "one", and my experience with those sites is that I don't like the people they suggest are my match. I have so many odd boxes to check in my list of would-be characteristics for the "one" that I don't think that person exists. Are there people that I could get along with? Sure. Are they perfectly suited just for me and no one else? No.

Do I think I will ever find a person that I will be satisfied with for the rest of my life? ...or for a number of years? Nah, I don't. I cringe when I think of nearly all my past relationships. ...and I'm not looking for another. ...and I don't measure my happiness in terms of finding such a person. I need to stand on my own and be happy that way.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

With seven billion people on the planet, the chances that a girl in Peoria IL would find her "one" in the next town over Moline IL is silly. Statistically its much more likely that her "one" is living in India or in China...

I think this is a statistically invalid argument.


Given the cultural barriers, language, faith, familiarity, mores, beliefs and more that factor into each human personality... the likelihood of another person being a good match drops dramatically with distance.

Folks from too disparate a background are unlikely to mesh well.

A man who has never been farther than 100 miles from the midwestern rural town in which he was born is highly unlikely to be a good match for a woman born down the street who moved around as a child and has traveled the world.

Not impossible... but with each difference in experience and exposure to other ideas, the chances of a great mating decline.

In that sense... the More a person matches your own worldview, your own political view, your own spiritual view, your own intellectual view, and your own emotional disposition... the more likely they are to be "the one".

So the billions don't really factor.

People only come in a fairly narrow range of a few character types. Ranges of smarts, self interest, empathy, and what not. A few dozen different mixes of makeup.
Most of the difference between us are cultural and experiential.

That's why so many long lived marriages are between people who grew up in the same town, went to the same school.

Its when we have mismatched expectations of each other that the resentments build.

 

[EllieP]

I quit looking for the "one" after the first "one." Thought I found him, and I, yes I was going to pop the question. He wasn't the "one."

So screw the "one." No such thing. I gave up.

Defense walls were down because I didn't expect an invasion. And here he comes barreling in and bowled me over.

If he's not the "one" he's pretty damn close and the closet I've ever got, and I'm not taking a chance to try to get anything closer!

Are we a perfect match? HAH! Not by a long shot. But we love each other above all others and my life has never been better.

For me, he is the only "one."

 

[FrankTO]

I suppose one can approach relationships with a list of likes and dislikes, but true love makes all that irrelevant. At first glance, my partner and I have strictly nothing in common. But love considerably enlarges your horizons; it makes you like things to which you didn't give a second thought before; it makes you see the world differently. It makes a square peg fit a round hole. Because of this, it is essential for the relationship to last. And when you feel it, you'll know, since nothing else feels even remotely like it.

 

[D_James_A_Farafield]

I suppose one can approach relationships with a list of likes and dislikes, but true love makes all that irrelevant. At first glance, my partner and I have strictly nothing in common. But love considerably enlarges your horizons; it makes you like things to which you didn't give a second thought before; it makes you see the world differently. It makes a square peg fit a round hole. Because of this, it is essential for the relationship to last. And when you feel it, you'll know, since nothing else feels even remotely like it.

i like this.