The opposite of the 3 date rule: how long to do without?

[Sagittarius84]

Apparently, a good, hard man is difficult to find. Especially at our age.

I actually 100% disagree...I think women's unchecked sexual selectivity metrics means that most good men are overlooked as unattractive prospects(women's reticular focus means they cannot identify, often even can't perceive, the "good" man until he has demonstrated some other aspects of desirability, and on the other end a "hard" man comes with prerequisites and boundaries most men do not, and demand a higher level of performance and integrity than most women feel they should have to fulfill.
Good men aren't hard to find, it's just most men aren't attractive enough(or considered socioeconomically desirable enough) for "good" to even be a consideration for women.
It's almost like a McDonald's paradox...the good, but average/below average earning and looking cashier that politely takes a woman's order, and rapidly serves her food with a genuine smile while multitasking around the grill(all great qualities for long term partners) is much less likely to be able to sleep with a woman waiting in line to order, than a well to do, rude, tall and attractive man that cuts her off in line without apologizing to make his order....but that woman will insist she can't find a good man, and when it comes to the men she chooses she'll lament they won't start to display qualities of the "good" man they didn't want in the 1st place.

 

[HughJorgen]

I actually 100% disagree...I think women's unchecked sexual selectivity metrics means that most good men are overlooked as unattractive prospects(women's reticular focus means they cannot identify, often even can't perceive, the "good" man until he has demonstrated some other aspects of desirability, and on the other end a "hard" man comes with prerequisites and boundaries most men do not, and demand a higher level of performance and integrity than most women feel they should have to fulfill.
Good men aren't hard to find, it's just most men aren't attractive enough(or considered socioeconomically desirable enough) for "good" to even be a consideration for women.
It's almost like a McDonald's paradox...the good, but average/below average earning and looking cashier that politely takes a woman's order, and rapidly serves her food with a genuine smile while multitasking around the grill(all great qualities for long term partners) is much less likely to be able to sleep with a woman waiting in line to order, than a well to do, rude, tall and attractive man that cuts her off in line without apologizing to make his order....but that woman will insist she can't find a good man, and when it comes to the men she chooses she'll lament they won't start to display qualities of the "good" man they didn't want in the 1st place.

I think women’s views on dating and marriage have been highly skewed over the past 25 years because of online dating.

If you were to believe the internet and the socials, then the latest “rule of thumb” is the “three 6’s “

6 foot tall or taller
6 figure income
6 inch cock

And now supposedly the latest iteration of that is the “6 7 8 rule”:

6 foot tall

7 figure net worth

8 inch cock

Supposedly, that is one version of that. There is at least one other version of that rule.

It is mind boggling to hear these women talk. They feel like they are entitled to these high achieving men. It would be something else if these women were 10’s , 9’s, and 8’s. But they aren’t. It is bizzaro world out there in the dating scene.

Just to give you an idea of the unicorns these women are looking for, there is a website called “igotstandardsbro” . They call it the female delusion calculator:

Female Delusion Calculator

I’m a goddam “Pegahorn”. A combination pegasus and a unicorn. Based on those stats.

 

[Rooker]

There are good women out there. People just expect more for less. Hookup apps and social media in general fuck with people’s minds. My buddies that meet their partners at church or sports leagues or gyms find compatible people. My buddies that use apps and go out partying find women that also use apps and party. It’s fine if that’s what you want. Either way. It’s unreasonable to expect someone will change.

If you want steak, don’t go to McDonald’s.

 

[HughJorgen]

There are good women out there. People just expect more for less. Hookup apps and social media in general fuck with people’s minds. My buddies that meet their partners at church or sports leagues or gyms find compatible people. My buddies that use apps and go out partying find women that also use apps and party. It’s fine if that’s what you want. Either way. It’s unreasonable to expect someone will change.

If you want steak, don’t go to McDonald’s.

That last line…. mic drop right there!

Me?

Personally?

I have not used a dating “app”…technically a dating website like “Plenty of Fish” (aka plenty of fatties) or “OkCupid” (aka OkStupid) since about 2015 or 2016.

My woman friend was on Bumble, POF, and a couple of others up until about 3 weeks ago. She sent me a screenshot of one dude that she was messaging. She said the dude said he was a fighter pilot. She asked which planes he flew and which base he was stationed at. The base he said was local to me and there are NO fighters here. Plus he was out of age, at 48, to be a fighter pilot. So I told her I would bet my next paycheck that profile was fake or AI. Then POOF! He blocked her.

So i started digging into it. Maybe I mentioned it up-thread, but MatchDOTcom has had class action lawsuits filed against at least 4 times over the past 20 years or so.

I gave her all the links to the news stories.

She like quit or “paused” her profiles on all the dating apps that day.

MatchDOTcom has bought several dating websites and apps over the past 30 years. At this point now, they are essentially a monopoly.

I hope I never have to resort to using a dating app. :-/

 

[lapdog2001]

So there have been countless numbers of potential relationships that were ended along these lines:

Carl: how are things with Becky?

Fred: We had our third date last night.

Carl: ahhh. Man! You tapped that ass didn’t you. Date #3! WOOT! WOOT! My man!

Fred: Actually, NO! We didn’t do anything.

Carl: BUMMER, dude! Now what are you gonna do?

Fred: i’m gonna ghost her and I already blocked her. I’m back to swiping.

Carl: A’yup! Plenty of other fish in the sea

Fred is an absolute idiot!
Did the 3rd date go well?
Has there been any kind of affection expressed, even if just a hug?
Did she express interest in getting together again?
Maybe she was going to jump his bones on that 4th date, that's never going to happen?

Ghosting/blocking is for losers unless the other person is a lunatic, stalker, or otherwise unhinged.

 

[HughJorgen]

Fred is an absolute idiot!
Did the 3rd date go well?
Has there been any kind of affection expressed, even if just a hug?
Did she express interest in getting together again?
Maybe she was going to jump his bones on that 4th date, that's never going to happen?

Ghosting/blocking is for losers unless the other person is a lunatic, stalker, or otherwise unhinged.

But there are people like that, that are that petty.

She could be super model hot and really nice…she didn’t give it up on the 3rd date….SHE GONE!

And ghosting/blocking is Standard Operating Procedure now.

:-/

 

[Sagittarius84]

Fred is an absolute idiot!
Did the 3rd date go well?
Has there been any kind of affection expressed, even if just a hug?
Did she express interest in getting together again?
Maybe she was going to jump his bones on that 4th date, that's never going to happen?

Ghosting/blocking is for losers unless the other person is a lunatic, stalker, or otherwise unhinged.

Outside of the devoutly religious, or overtly traditionally conservative, I think it's bad math for men in modernity to continue offering courtship to women whom do not immediately and obviously show interest in a relationship beyond what objectively she can glean from you.
Back in the day, sure wait until that 4th, 6th, 7th date, but nowadays social media and culture facilitate women to go about dating in a polyandrous matter, meaning if shes not trying to fuck you by date three, it's a much better chance that you're listed as "food" or "Über" in her phone.

As far as ghosting and blocking, personally I don't like it, but I think it's just another one of those things that is a consequence of modernity that serves men more so now than it did in the past... especially in the sense of a potential woman whom is not showing genuine desire, once their ego is tested because they no longer hold power in a man's life, more often than not you get transactional and disingenuous attraction from that woman, intent on maintaining orbiters. Ghosting and blocking for men is how we avoid women commoditizing attention, time, and resources when they do not reciprocate desire or affection.

 

[HughJorgen]

Outside of the devoutly religious, or overtly traditionally conservative, I think it's bad math for men in modernity to continue offering courtship to women whom do not immediately and obviously show interest in a relationship beyond what objectively she can glean from you.
Back in the day, sure wait until that 4th, 6th, 7th date, but nowadays social media and culture facilitate women to go about dating in a polyandrous matter, meaning if shes not trying to fuck you by date three, it's a much better chance that you're listed as "food" or "Über" in her phone.

As far as ghosting and blocking, personally I don't like it, but I think it's just another one of those things that is a consequence of modernity that serves men more so now than it did in the past... especially in the sense of a potential woman whom is not showing genuine desire, once their ego is tested because they no longer hold power in a man's life, more often than not you get transactional and disingenuous attraction from that woman, intent on maintaining orbiters. Ghosting and blocking for men is how we avoid women commoditizing attention, time, and resources when they do not reciprocate desire or affection.

I was dating a woman in 2016 who was gaslighting me and just in general acted batshit crazy. I can’t remember if I out and out broke up with her over the phone. Or if I just ghosted her / blocked her. I was easily into the next relationship for 2 or 3 years, and she called me out of the blue. She sounded way more sane.

But I bet getting breast cancer, having a double mastectomy done, and getting a hysterectomy probably has a tendency to make a person mentally reflect on all the things they have done to other people over the years.

She texts me about every six months. And I’ll reply with “When do you want to meet up for coffee?” Then nothing….back to radio silence.

Ohhh….welllll…

 

[Sagittarius84]

I was dating a woman in 2016 who was gaslighting me and just in general acted batshit crazy. I can’t remember if I out and out broke up with her over the phone. Or if I just ghosted her / blocked her. I was easily into the next relationship for 2 or 3 years, and she called me out of the blue. She sounded way more sane.

But I bet getting breast cancer, having a double mastectomy done, and getting a hysterectomy probably has a tendency to make a person mentally reflect on all the things they have done to other people over the years.

She texts me about every six months. And I’ll reply with “When do you want to meet up for coffee?” Then nothing….back to radio silence.

Ohhh….welllll…

Why do you answer? I was with my ex for almost 5 yrs, I'd probably first almost die laughing as I watched her unanswered call go to VM or her text left unread...then id angrily start figuring out who has my current # and dared to share it with the scallywag.
You're only feeding her bruised ego by implying an interest to see her again, even if it's in jest.

 

[HughJorgen]

I had switched phones and I didn’t transfer her number to my new phone.

Plus she gave great and plentiful blowjobs.

 

[HughJorgen]

Next time….which at her usual rate…it will be 2026, I’ll just respond with “LOOK! It has been 10 years since we have seen each other. You treated me like shit in 2016. Do me a favor…..lose my number!”

 

[HughJorgen]

My woman friend went on another “date” Friday.

I asked her what the orgasm score or orgasm count was:

Him: 8
Her: 0

She is going to be busy for the month of July.

He is going to London for a week.

So they won’t be seeing each other in a month.

I told her that it gives him a month to figure out his ED issues and/or go see a doctor.

At some point I probably need to split this part of this thread and post it in women's issues.

 

[Sagittarius84]

My woman friend went on another “date” Friday.

I asked her what the orgasm score or orgasm count was:

Him: 8
Her: 0

She is going to be busy for the month of July.

He is going to London for a week.

So they won’t be seeing each other in a month.

I told her that it gives him a month to figure out his ED issues and/or go see a doctor.

At some point I probably need to split this part of this thread and post it in women's issues.

My guess is this woman could get with a man that would even that count out in a night, right this second. He doesn't really "need" to do anything, she needs to figure out what aspect of a relationship is most important to her and what aspects of a relationship is she prepared to compromise upon to get it...because the sad thing is a man's ED should have little to no effect on the amount of orgasms he can bring his woman to...so I know this guy must excel in someway most women desire if he can be that fucked in the penis, but still refuses or is unable to use auxiliary means, but still she persists.

 

[HughJorgen]

My guess is this woman could get with a man that would even that count out in a night, right this second. He doesn't really "need" to do anything, she needs to figure out what aspect of a relationship is most important to her and what aspects of a relationship is she prepared to compromise upon to get it...because the sad thing is a man's ED should have little to no effect on the amount of orgasms he can bring his woman to...so I know this guy must excel in someway most women desire if he can be that fucked in the penis, but still refuses or is unable to use auxiliary means, but still she persists.

Familiarity.

They were just friends for the past 2 years.

He is a “known entity”.

Or another way to phrase it, “the devil you know”.

Alternatively, starting a relationship from scratch is scary and intimidating for most women. It was just a few years ago where the common thing going around social media was women felt safer in the woods with a bear than a man.