the order of sex

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by dolfette, Dec 15, 2009.

  1. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    are you happy with it?
    you know...

    he goes down on you, you cum.
    you blow him till he's hard.
    fuck until he cums.
    sex over.

    are you happy that your orgasm is proudly gotten out of the way before real sex starts?
    or would you rather your orgasm was the grand finale, instead of his. that once he was done he turned to toys, tongues or fingers?

    there are frequently threads about how after she cums she doesn't want more, so how do i make her want more? but never the other way around.

    why not just get her off after sex?

    why do men get to roll over and sleep after orgasm, while women are expected to carry on and satisfy? why not the other way around?

    so tell me, what do you think about the order of things?
     
  2. eyescream

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2009
    Messages:
    1,101
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    (Nomadic...relocating again very soon)
    I roll over and sleep after orgasms so I prefer the order to be:

    > he goes down on me
    > I go down on him
    > we have sex
    > I cum
    > he cums shortly after
    > we roll over and go to sleep
     
  3. Ganieda

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2009
    Messages:
    204
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Southeastern USA
    Verified:
    Photo
    I don't ever recall getting my "rocks" off in the beginning to get it over with.

    In fact, nowadays the acts of the play roll along like this :
    Act I
    He goes down on me.
    I blow him till he's hard.
    Fuck until he cums.

    Act II
    He goes back down on me
    He's hard again
    Fuck for a short time until he cums again

    Act III
    He goes back down on me

    Sex over.
     
  4. MickeyLee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2008
    Messages:
    11,795
    Likes Received:
    1,823
    Location:
    neverhood
    i've been lucky enough to avoid assembly line sex. *shudder*
     
    #4 MickeyLee, Dec 15, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2009
  5. Enid

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2008
    Messages:
    4,402
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    181
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    My home is wherever reality seems elastic and the
    It's been pretty varied for me too. Sometimes I finish after and sometimes before. Occasionally I finish with. Sometimes it's a combo of manual, oral and/or toy stimulation that does it for me and sometimes it's through intercourse.
     
  6. WifeNeedsGurth

    WifeNeedsGurth New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2009
    Messages:
    169
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New England
    Wow, this is somewhat of a depressing thread.

    It really doesn't take much to keep things "fresh" in the bedroom. Do you have to work at it at times, yes...but it ultimately so worth it.

    I can honestly say that we do not have a set "order" of things. That would be just horrible, if you ask me.
     
  7. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    nor do i...i don't orgasm at all. i find orgasm rather distasteful. and my formula would involve more in the way of belts, duct tape, electrodes and wooden rulers.

    this thread idea is ripped from a women's mag.
     
  8. WifeNeedsGurth

    WifeNeedsGurth New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2009
    Messages:
    169
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New England
    How so?
     
  9. Nekoman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2007
    Messages:
    1,093
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Newark, NJ

    GOOD points to the above scenario:

    1. No wasted time. Back to work, or tv or whatever asap.
    2. Efficiency is next to godliness...just ask any German.
    3. You know it works.
    4. Only the appropiate amount of beating-around-the-bush.
     
  10. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    why don't some people like coffee?
    it's just not my cup of tea.
    sweaty spasm & hormone rushes are good for pelvic toning but not my idea of fun.
    people never understand this, so i fake. ha!
    beating around the bush would be an improvement.
    pussy spankings rock!
     
  11. WifeNeedsGurth

    WifeNeedsGurth New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2009
    Messages:
    169
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New England
    I love coffee just as much as the next girl, but I think I could certainly survive without it. Can't say the same about orgasms.

    So what you are saying is is that you are in fact able to achieve orgasm, you just do not choose to do so. Is that correct?
     
  12. B_johnschlong

    B_johnschlong New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2006
    Messages:
    667
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I'm sorry to disappoint you, but most of the times, she cums, and I don't. So she often says: enough, and then I have to jerk off on my own, when she's sleeping.

    I'm not joking, this is the truth. I have a problem with postponed ejaculations. Very often, I cannot cum before her. :frown1:
     
  13. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    yup, that's correct.

    i can quite happily live without them,
    but make a point to have them sometimes because they're good for pelvic health...and insomnia too actually.
    i would feel sorry for you but you're just such a racist prat.
     
  14. Mule

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    1,558
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Midwest US
    Verified:
    Photo
    I think that a lot of problems have been generated by the goal-oriented nature of most men. It translates to "I must make her climax, preferably as many times as possible."

    A number of the women I have been with have told me that they want to enjoy the journey as well as the destination. Some have told me they don't care if they climax every single time either. They can derive a lot of enjoyment from sex without orgasm. If more men knew this and actually internalized it, they would approach sex in a way more like women, slow down and enjoy. The end result would be more enjoyment for all.
     
  15. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    ^^^this is especially true for me.
    i've had men actually sulk because i didn't orgasm.
    sometimes it's more about his ego than her pleasure.
     
  16. Lng_1

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2008
    Messages:
    314
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Baton Rouge (LA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    I once read that women who cum before their husband generally report overall more satisfaction with their love lives, than those who do not cum first. Of course, the key word is "generally".... As dolfette has proven, you can't lump everyone into the same boat. I would think that communication and expression of wants and desires is key. If you want more foreplay or more playfulness or more flirting or more whatever.... just say so... if he loves you and you are important to him-- he'll give it to you. If not-- he is a selfish bastard!
     
  17. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dreamplane
    What Mule said. I think variety is the spice of life and love all the ingredients that can cook up a lovely climax. Sadly I don't always have them, but it's fun to sort through different recipes and try different techniques.
     
  18. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,460
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,559
    Location:
    United States
    That's Pretty much what I was thinking.
     
  19. Not_Punny

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2007
    Messages:
    5,542
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,204
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    California
    But that's the whole point of the thread (according to my dismally limited ability to comprehend).

    I do believe that many, if not most, relationships follow a GENERAL pattern of who-goes-first. It does NOT matter how they get there -- plenty of variety in that -- but it does follow a GENERAL pattern of who goes first.

    Some men, as do some women, turn catatonic after an orgasm. And because these people know that their 'lights' go off the minute that their rockets go off, they feel they HAVE to get their partner off first.

    So, yes, some people tend to follow a "winning formula."

    Personally, I prefer the guy to get off last. For some weird reason, I find male ejaculate to be a sedative: the minute it hits my tongue or tummy, I'm out.
     
    #19 Not_Punny, Dec 15, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2009
  20. Ganieda

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2009
    Messages:
    204
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Southeastern USA
    Verified:
    Photo
    This is totally true. I've had men that I've have to push off of me because they were entirely too determined to make me cum when it just wasn't going to happen.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted