the order of sex

[Principessa]

OMG! There's a specific order?!? Damn! No wonder I'm not married yet, I haven't been following the OP's schematic for sex. :frown1:


With me it's more like:

• Lots of kissing and heavy petting leading to his fingering me until I cum or almost cum.
• He goes down on me, I cum & sometimes squirt :redface:
• I engage in some oral cock worship complete with ball licking and perineum stimulation until he can't take it and throws me on the bed to fuck me where I cum again, he cums soon after me or simultaneously.
• More kissing and fondling
• A shower where we wash each other followed by something to eat. Good sex makes me hungry. :biggrin1:
• He goes down on me, I cum & sometimes squirt, again.
• A nice sensuous slow fuck where we both cum again. :smile:
• Sex over. I go to sleep and so does he with legs and arms entwined or spooning.

are you happy with it?
you know...

he goes down on you, you cum.
you blow him till he's hard.
fuck until he cums.
sex over.

are you happy that your orgasm is proudly gotten out of the way before real sex starts?
or would you rather your orgasm was the grand finale, instead of his. that once he was done he turned to toys, tongues or fingers?

there are frequently threads about how after she cums she doesn't want more, so how do i make her want more? but never the other way around.

why not just get her off after sex?

why do men get to roll over and sleep after orgasm, while women are expected to carry on and satisfy? why not the other way around?

so tell me, what do you think about the order of things?

 

[Not_Punny]

This is totally true. I've had men that I've have to push off of me because they were entirely too determined to make me cum when it just wasn't going to happen.

LOL, I know what you mean, but consider the alternative:

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away (which means before the 70's), only very special men bothered about getting the woman off. And according to my departed (and sainted) mother, a book called the "Hite Report" changed all that.

Like Virginia Slim always said, You've cum a long way, baby.

 

[eyescream]

Not me, sorry. I'm thinking if there's no orgasm, he's about to be replaced by someone else. I wouldn't ride a bus if it's not going to drop me off to where I want to go. It does come down to the orgasm bit.

Mule - the "I don't care if I orgasm" is only true for FEW women. Don't jump to the conclusion that it's true for most. I've told some guys I was sleeping with that I didn't care about orgasms and that they shouldn't worry about it, but I was lying and eventually ended.

Okay actually only 1 guy to date has never brought me to orgasm.

 

[Ganieda]

Most guys I date don't bring me to orgasm.
I am gonna marry the one that can do it consistently. lol

 

[voidout]

there's an order to sex? ugh. fuck my life.

 

[Mrmaxwell]

If you plan sex, you plan to fail at sex. Variety is the spice of life and happy orgasms.

 

[beachbum1971]

Not me, sorry. I'm thinking if there's no orgasm, he's about to be replaced by someone else. I wouldn't ride a bus if it's not going to drop me off to where I want to go. It does come down to the orgasm bit.

Mule - the "I don't care if I orgasm" is only true for FEW women. Don't jump to the conclusion that it's true for most. I've told some guys I was sleeping with that I didn't care about orgasms and that they shouldn't worry about it, but I was lying and eventually ended.

Okay actually only 1 guy to date has never brought me to orgasm.

I cum so easily that if a guy couldn't get me off.... NEXT! I feel sorry for women who cannot orgasm or, I shudder to think, do not enjoy it. But, to each her own. What I can say is that if both people are happy with how things are going, then it's all good. If anyone is unhappy, shame on them for not speaking up and working on ways to improve it. Communication is key.

 

[Pitbull]

Oh CRAP!
there is a script

 

[Principessa]

Most guys I date don't bring me to orgasm.

I am gonna marry the one that can do it consistently. lol

Shit, the only one that could do that consistently I broke up with cause he was a fuck buddy and I started having feelings for him. :frown1::sigh:

there's an order to sex? ugh. fuck my life.

:boggled: I hear you. :sigh:

 

[Mule]

Mule - the "I don't care if I orgasm" is only true for FEW women. Don't jump to the conclusion that it's true for most. I've told some guys I was sleeping with that I didn't care about orgasms and that they shouldn't worry about it, but I was lying and eventually ended.

I didn't mean to imply that most women don't care whether or not they climax. However, I have known women that had other sexual priorities, and said they could enjoy sex without an orgasm.

I think that for women who place an emphasis on having an orgasm/many orgasms, they will generally make an effort (in addition to whatever their partner is doing) to make sure they achieve that.

My main point was that a 'standard shopping list' for sex is partly a product of men assuming that the female orgasm is the goal that they must achieve at all costs. Sure, if that's what the woman wants, but often it is more about the guy's ego than it is her pleasure.

 

[pokerus]

I think some of it has to do with the primitive instincts of males.

 

[Ganieda]

Shit, the only one that could do that consistently I broke up with cause he was a fuck buddy and I started having feelings for him. :frown1::sigh:

I hate when that happens.

 

[honeydew]

I think that a lot of problems have been generated by the goal-oriented nature of most men. It translates to "I must make her climax, preferably as many times as possible."

A number of the women I have been with have told me that they want to enjoy the journey as well as the destination. Some have told me they don't care if they climax every single time either. They can derive a lot of enjoyment from sex without orgasm. If more men knew this and actually internalized it, they would approach sex in a way more like women, slow down and enjoy. The end result would be more enjoyment for all.

I wish I lived close to Mule!!! Ditto to what Mule stated!!

 

[deleted356736]

This is called a 'sexual script' to use the correct psychological term. My two bobs worth is that if my wife doesn't come before intercourse, then my girth is going to be a problem, but that's not an issue for most men. I have read that the majority of women prefer to come before than after, so for most women this script works.

As far as male tiredness after orgasm goes; that's a hormonal issue that men have little control over. The only way I know to prevent this is to learn Tantric sex, and then use those Tantric techniques during intercourse. Even if you ejaculate and orgasm as I do, you don't get overly tired during the process, I think because you are more 'in the zone'. But for men who haven't had the luxury of one-on-one Tantric training like me, there's no use berating them for something that's part of being a man.

 

[B_johnschlong]

i would feel sorry for you but you're just such a racist prat.

I don't know where you get that idea, but it IS true that I cum much easier when I'm with a black girl, than when I'm with a white girl. The sex is just so very different.

Am I a racist because I have orgasms with a black girl and never with a white girl? Then so be it.

 

[dolfette]

I don't know where you get that idea, but it IS true that I cum much easier when I'm with a black girl, than when I'm with a white girl. The sex is just so very different.

Am I a racist because I have orgasms with a black girl and never with a white girl? Then so be it.

see? complete prat!

 

[HazelGod]

I think that a lot of problems have been generated by the goal-oriented nature of most men. It translates to "I must make her climax, preferably as many times as possible."

A number of the women I have been with have told me that they want to enjoy the journey as well as the destination. Some have told me they don't care if they climax every single time either. They can derive a lot of enjoyment from sex without orgasm. If more men knew this and actually internalized it, they would approach sex in a way more like women, slow down and enjoy. The end result would be more enjoyment for all.

What he said.

Mlle Rouge holds a similar point of view, very articulately...and very passionately.

 

[helgaleena]

This is a more interesting topic than I thought it would be... Nice to hear that I am not a freak for being easy to orgasm. I am just part of a continuum. I also must say that in my experience cbrmale offers some very good common sense about making sex work in a longerterm relationship.

I also would be much too bored if there were one general way to script sex. I like it more like a pinball game-- we see where we hit first and try not to stop until we have rung all the bells at least once. Even pinball gets boring if youv'e been doing it for hours and hours though. Sleep has its place.

 

[sassy Lisa]

:shocked:You mean there is an order to sex WOW, maybe that is my problem. I always thought you were suppose to have fun and let whatever happens, happen. :wink:I think I will stick with doing what feels good in the moment and not stick to any kind of order. :tongue:

 

[Mule]

The worst sexual encounters that I have had have all been with women that approached sex in a similar way to most men: Goal-oriented.

I don't want a woman to try to make me cum. I want her to use every trick in her repertoire to slow it down, draw it out, and keep me on the edge for as long as possible with delicious, languid skill.