The pumpkins are black!

Northland

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The other day I strolled outside and the smell of spraypaint was heavy in the air. My senses became wobbly as I headed down Bleecker along the new Ralph Lauren Road (old Ralph now has 3 stores on one block-2 on the east side, 1 on the west). At the corner of Perry a scrawny man was on his knees shaking a can. I said a can, not his can. He was spraying something, although I didn't give a fuck what since I despised him almost immediately-maybe it was his ugly hat or perhaps his face which looked as if it had been friends with a wheat thrasher (and I don't mean that in a good way). Besides, he was clearly too thin to be worth anything beyond a one-time fucking (if you don't believe in eating, don't expect me to watch you keel over from malnutrition). So anyway-


I went along my way and all was fine. The following day, I walked down Perry and saw an outline of black paint. (the protective paper they used on the sidewalk, didn't seem to work) Then I saw the window of the latest Ralph Lauren store-opened just a few weeks ago. All the pumpkins had been sprayed black! The leaves on the window floor were black! Going a few feet along Bleecker towards Charles, I saw the next Ralph store. The tree trunks were black! Who the fuck spray paints pumpkins black? It's unHalloweenish to do this.


(and I am still annoyed by their large baskets outside with twigs, berries and oversized pumpkins, the berries fall on the floor and are slippery, and the twigs scratch as you walk by on the now overcrowded corner)