New End, I understand your worries, here is my input.
Sometimes when you are making out with a girl, she has been building the whole situation up in her mind and by the time you kiss, she is already wet and ready to get fucked. But thats not always the case, so its safer to not expect that every girl wants her clothes ripped off right away, and you have to work a bit first.
Here are some pointers, for when you are making out with her,
- Kiss her, and don't take extra long pauses to think or worry.
- Touch her all over, start with the safe places that you know she probably won't immediately slap your hand away from, place your hand on her knee, start rubbing it gently, if that goes well move up her thigh a bit, slowly, over the course of a few minutes you will be tracing your hand as up and down her legs, caressing her, massaging her, relaxing her.
- Keep the attention on her always.
- Kiss her neck, nibble on her earlobe, mix it up, they love this.
- Remember that foreplay for men and women is different. For men its usually considered the direct stimulation by hand/mouth,etc. that happens right before sex, and for women its much more mental, and starts long before penetration. You massaging her body is getting her in the mood, its relaxing her, its getting her juices flowing (literally and figuratively)
- Tell her how sexy she is, how beautiful she is, what being with her, and looking/touching her is doing for you, and how much she turns you on.
- **Here is a special goodie** When you are making out, hooking up, kiss her, pause, look in her eyes, then move your mouth about a half inch from her ear, take your voice down deeper a few octaves and tell her something like "From the first moment I saw you tonight all I wanted to do was tear your clothes off baby", or "Just thinking about all of the things I want to do to you is driving me crazy", or even simply "I love how sexy you are baby". Make sure you are really close to her ear, so she can feel your voice on her skin, the vibrations from talking so close and in a lower tone will send chills up her spine. *Warning: Doing that increases the risks of her underwear rapidly coming off, so use with caution.
- When you are touching her body all over, as she becomes more comfortable start gradually moving into higher risk areas, graze her breast, lightly trace a finger up her crotch as you make your way up her leg, if she doesn't want it, she will probably tell you or just push your hand away. If she doesn't stop you, she probably wants it, so keep touching, keep squeezing, massaging.
- Feel her crotch over her clothes and start rubbing her pussy through the fabric. If she is wet you will be able to feel her getting warm and moist, even through jeans you can start to tell if she is into it or not. If not, keep working, and doing everything above. If she is letting you keep going, take her pants off, finger her and go down on her, and if she isn't wet by then well... maybe she's not feeling your moves, or she is in a coma. I dont know. Just stay relaxed, make it about her, always mix it up and keep her guessing, (don't stay focused on kissing her neck for 20 minutes unless she asks you to, things get boring quick, so move from place to place, or please multiple places at once and overwhelm her senses, thats always fun) be confident, and most importantly, if you are paying attention to her its hard to screw it up, just respond to her reactions, have fun.